Well it's been a few days and now since the last entry. I promised at the end of that entry that 1) I would let you know how things turned out and 2) What positive lessons could be learned. So here goes...
1) My wife, daughter and mother were not able to book a flight back home as nothing was available for several days. They were able to get a flight on Jet Blue that got them to Portland, ME which is more than 1/2 way so they took that. My dad, after getting home at 1AM the night before, got up at 7:00 AM turned around and drove the 7 hrs back south to pick them up. Luckily we have relatives near Portland and my family and parents were able to stay there after Dad arrived so they could rest a bit before the trek back home. They all arrived safe and sound Thursday evening. Thank God.
Now, what can we take from this experience... that depends, as I talk about in my presentations all the time, on what we choose to focus on. There are a plethora of negative things that we could focus on from this trip: the lost bags, cold and cloudy weather, three people getting sick, the lack of help from the airline during any part of the ordeal, my wife being so ill on the way home that she couldn't fly etc etc etc but focusing on those things does us no good, and not only that, it ruins the vacation by overshadowing the good stuff that happened. So I'm choosing to focus on the good things like: riding with my wife on the Tower of Terror and watching her scream all the way; seeing the amazing and inspiring presentation at Sea World as the world's largest creatures jumped farther into the air than I ever thought possible; and one memory that will stay with me for a LONG time, the look on daughter's face when she met the Disney princesses.
All in all, we still had a great vacation. Was it a smooth one? No. Did it go as planned? No. Are we still going to make sure American Airlines knows how unhappy we are with them? Yep. But still, it was a good time, and the "adventures" we had actually have one big plus: they'll make sure that we'll never forget that week!
So what's the big lesson? We can only control so much in our lives. In fact, we can control much less than we'd like to think. So when circumstances go against you, don't stress, don't freak out, just do your best to "go with the flow". Things will turn around. They always do. Take comfort in the knowledge that while much is out of your control, there's one thing you can always do something about; how you handle adversity and what you choose to focus on. I'm choosing to focus on that image of my daughter's face.
Saturday, January 09, 2010
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
The Trials of Travel - Part 1
This week my family went of vacation, or at least that's what we thought. We arrived at our destination, but unfortunately, our bags didn't. Not the first day, or the second, or for some of us, the even the third. The airline was no help, offered no good reason for what happened, and was actually even rude.
Next, while we were there, my baby girl got the stomach flu and my wife and I spent an entire night with her vomiting every twenty minutes all night long. But that's not all... in fact, we're just getting started. My mother caught the same bug two days later and was sick for the last day and half of the vacation.
Then there's my brother's girlfriend had to leave early. She got back but after receiving her bag the night before she left, her bag wasn't there when she got back home either!
Finally, when the rest of us traveled my wife who evidently caught the same bug my Mom and daughter both had, spent most of the first leg of the flight home in the washroom and the 5hr layover was so bad that she wasn't even able to fly the rest of the way home. One would think that the airline would want to protect their passengers from a sick passenger and would gladly switch my wife's seat for a later flight... turns out that's not the case and she was told that she would have to buy a new ticket in order to fly later. Oh and by the way, there were no flights the next day.
The saga is not over yet but so far, it hasn't been a very relaxing vacation! I'll keep you posted...
Oh, and keep reading, because the reason I'm sharing this story isn't just to vent. There are lessons to be learned as well and those will come in Part 2.
Next, while we were there, my baby girl got the stomach flu and my wife and I spent an entire night with her vomiting every twenty minutes all night long. But that's not all... in fact, we're just getting started. My mother caught the same bug two days later and was sick for the last day and half of the vacation.
Then there's my brother's girlfriend had to leave early. She got back but after receiving her bag the night before she left, her bag wasn't there when she got back home either!
Finally, when the rest of us traveled my wife who evidently caught the same bug my Mom and daughter both had, spent most of the first leg of the flight home in the washroom and the 5hr layover was so bad that she wasn't even able to fly the rest of the way home. One would think that the airline would want to protect their passengers from a sick passenger and would gladly switch my wife's seat for a later flight... turns out that's not the case and she was told that she would have to buy a new ticket in order to fly later. Oh and by the way, there were no flights the next day.
The saga is not over yet but so far, it hasn't been a very relaxing vacation! I'll keep you posted...
Oh, and keep reading, because the reason I'm sharing this story isn't just to vent. There are lessons to be learned as well and those will come in Part 2.
Monday, January 04, 2010
Dealing with Post-Holiday Stress
This is a time of the year that can be very stressful for many of us. Vacation is over, and there are no breaks anywhere in sight for the next while. The credit card bills start rolling in after holiday over-spending, and many people can get pretty stressed out. Add to that the short days, darkness and frigid temperatures and this can be a very hard time of the year to deal with. So this blog entry is about how to deal effectively with this stress.
1) Sort out what you're worries are - Sometimes that means writing things down. Make a list of everything that you have on your mind. Then, go through them one by one and examine which you have control over and which you don't. Those you don't; put out of your mind, you can't do anything about them anyway and focussing on them will only cause stress and anxiety. Those you CAN control, set to work on sorting them out or solving them all together (ie: If mounting bills are stressing you out, go through them, find out exactly what you owe and either pay them, or make a plan with a bank on how you'll deal with them). Often just dealing with the issues and knowing you have a plan can make a lot of difference.
2) Focus on Today - Just like I mention in my book (Live Life from the Heart: 52 Weeks to a Life of Passion and Purpose - click here to get your copy), the more you can remain in the present and focus on one day at a time, the easier life gets. Let's face it, there is lots you can control, but even more you can't and the sooner you accept that and strop trying to control those things, the better. Focus on enjoying each day as best you can (not with the idea that you won't have tomorrow, but just because every day is special:)
3) Stay Busy - For me the most effective thing I can do to help my mood and my ability to cope with life's stress is to stay busy. The more I can keep my mind distracted with other things, the better I feel. That held true when I was in hospital and is still true today. When I have too much time on my hands I can get neurotic and begin worrying a lot, but if I stay active and busy, life goes well. I'm not advocating that you ignore reality or anything, but simply that you don't dwell on negative things and instead focus on living life as actively and fully as your health will allow.
4) Exercise - In that same vane, I'm a runner. People often ask me, "why?". Why running? Why is it important to you? and the truth is, I do it because I love it and I want to stay in shape, but most of all, I do it because of how it makes me feel. After a run (even if it's only a few km) I feel more energized, more calm and have a general sense of well-being. I would strongly encourage you to get active. It doesn't have to be running. Walking is great too, so is swimming. Anything that gets your heart rate up for a while is good. It will help your mood, ease stress and also make you stronger physically which, especially when you're fighting disease, is really important.
5) Pray, but Act Too - Faith is a huge part of my life. I couldn't have made it through my health issues without God. Sometimes he provided that little push or support, sometimes he carried me completely. I pray daily and I think it can be a great source of comfort and strength. That said, I also think that God expects us to help ourselves and that he often does his work through us and others. If you don't already, start praying. Trust me, God is waiting to hear from you:). But also don't expect miracles without any work. I want to take nothing away from God and his infinite power to help us and even cure us, but I do think he expects that we'll use the gifts and abilities he's given us to help ourselves as well. So don't sit around waiting for him to work miracles without taking action yourself. At the same time try surrendering as much of your future to him as you can (that's a daily struggle too) but in the end, we know he's in control and he loves us and cares for us more than we can ever understand. He only wants what's best for us and so the more we let him work, the better things will be.
I hope this was helpful to any of our readers dealing with the post-holiday stress common to so many. Remember your life is what you make it. Don't waste time being stressed over things you can't change.
1) Sort out what you're worries are - Sometimes that means writing things down. Make a list of everything that you have on your mind. Then, go through them one by one and examine which you have control over and which you don't. Those you don't; put out of your mind, you can't do anything about them anyway and focussing on them will only cause stress and anxiety. Those you CAN control, set to work on sorting them out or solving them all together (ie: If mounting bills are stressing you out, go through them, find out exactly what you owe and either pay them, or make a plan with a bank on how you'll deal with them). Often just dealing with the issues and knowing you have a plan can make a lot of difference.
2) Focus on Today - Just like I mention in my book (Live Life from the Heart: 52 Weeks to a Life of Passion and Purpose - click here to get your copy), the more you can remain in the present and focus on one day at a time, the easier life gets. Let's face it, there is lots you can control, but even more you can't and the sooner you accept that and strop trying to control those things, the better. Focus on enjoying each day as best you can (not with the idea that you won't have tomorrow, but just because every day is special:)
3) Stay Busy - For me the most effective thing I can do to help my mood and my ability to cope with life's stress is to stay busy. The more I can keep my mind distracted with other things, the better I feel. That held true when I was in hospital and is still true today. When I have too much time on my hands I can get neurotic and begin worrying a lot, but if I stay active and busy, life goes well. I'm not advocating that you ignore reality or anything, but simply that you don't dwell on negative things and instead focus on living life as actively and fully as your health will allow.
4) Exercise - In that same vane, I'm a runner. People often ask me, "why?". Why running? Why is it important to you? and the truth is, I do it because I love it and I want to stay in shape, but most of all, I do it because of how it makes me feel. After a run (even if it's only a few km) I feel more energized, more calm and have a general sense of well-being. I would strongly encourage you to get active. It doesn't have to be running. Walking is great too, so is swimming. Anything that gets your heart rate up for a while is good. It will help your mood, ease stress and also make you stronger physically which, especially when you're fighting disease, is really important.
5) Pray, but Act Too - Faith is a huge part of my life. I couldn't have made it through my health issues without God. Sometimes he provided that little push or support, sometimes he carried me completely. I pray daily and I think it can be a great source of comfort and strength. That said, I also think that God expects us to help ourselves and that he often does his work through us and others. If you don't already, start praying. Trust me, God is waiting to hear from you:). But also don't expect miracles without any work. I want to take nothing away from God and his infinite power to help us and even cure us, but I do think he expects that we'll use the gifts and abilities he's given us to help ourselves as well. So don't sit around waiting for him to work miracles without taking action yourself. At the same time try surrendering as much of your future to him as you can (that's a daily struggle too) but in the end, we know he's in control and he loves us and cares for us more than we can ever understand. He only wants what's best for us and so the more we let him work, the better things will be.
I hope this was helpful to any of our readers dealing with the post-holiday stress common to so many. Remember your life is what you make it. Don't waste time being stressed over things you can't change.
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