What Are You Spending Your Time Thinking About?

It's April 26th, 2011. As we speak there are wars for freedom and democracy raging in several parts of the world, not to mention a war in Afghanistan where our troops have been dying for almost a decade now, a war in Iraq and in this part of the world, a federal election looming in little more than a week. What was the number one news story on the radio today? The wedding of two people half a world away with little or no connection to our part of the world. I have just one question;

What in the world is going on?

So what does this have to do with you and your success? Lots. What are you spending the greater part of your energy, time and resources on? What do you think about most often? Are you focused on your goals and dreams and how you plan to achieve them, or are you bogged down with the details of life, or worse, with frivolous things like the wedding of Will and Kate?

Now let me just state for the record, that I have nothing against the royal family or Will and Kate. I wish them all the best of life and happiness and hope their wedding is all they hope it will be. My point is not that there is anything wrong with being interested in the royal family per se, Where there IS something wrong, is when we let distractions to get in the way of what really matters.

The amount of time, energy and money that has gone into reporting, analyzing every details of this event is ridiculous. I have the tv on as I write this and in the time since I started writing this blog (about 20mins) there has been a commercial for: the Will and Kate movie, a special on Kate's dress and another one on the menu of the big day. In 20 MINUTES! Is this really what matters most to people right now?

The truth, of course, is no it isn't. There are dozens if not hundreds, of things more important to joe average right now, especially in light of all of the others issues our world is facing, and yet, many people will be taking time out of their lives on Friday to watch this ceremony. The important issue here isn't the wedding itself, but WHY so many people are being taken in by it?

Why do we care?

For some people, taking time out of life for things like the royal wedding is just a matter of curiosity, and there's nothing really wrong with that as long as you don't spend too much time on it. But for many, this is just one, in a line, of distractions used to avoid dealing with real life. And that is dangerous.

Why do you think most people fail to achieve what they want from their lives? It's not because they lack the talent, skill or desire. It's because they lose focus. Most of us start with great goals and plans for our lives, but then life gets in the way. We have to work, make meals, do laundry, pay bills, prepare meals, care for our family and then we get home at the end of the day and are too tired to focus on anything but watching some tv and going to bed. So where is the time to focus on our goals and work toward a better future? There isn't any... or is there?

If you aren't where you want to be in your life right now and think you have no time to get there, ask yourself the following questions:

• How many hours do I spend watching tv each day? (Keep track for a week. It might scare you)
• How many hours do I sleep? (You may not be getting enough, but you may also be getting more than you need. Most people only need 7hrs/night)

This week I challenge you to spend some time thinking about what you spend your time on. Is it constructive? Is it taking you closer to, or further from, your goals? A small investment of time each day, compounded over the years of a lifetime can make a huge difference. Good luck and stay focused.

I'm trying to have patience with this. I understand that people ar

Quitters Quit, Winners Don't

In hundreds of presentations across North America, I have made an assertion that many would challenge, but I stand by it today as strongly as the first day I made it: no one in the history of human events has ever failed.

It's not hard to read that statement and think that I'm either a naive fool or just not very bright:) While the latter may be true, if you allow me to clarify the statement, I think it will make perfect sense. I don't believe that anyone in the history of human events has ever failed. Those who didn't succeed just gave up, before the realized their goals.

The principal here is two fold. Firstly, it is rare that if you are truly willing to work at something until it happens that it won't eventually take shape. Most of us don't give our goals and dreams nearly enough effort. We set a goal, we "work" at it a few times and when it doesn't materialize, we give up or move on to something else. People will often say to me that they would love to write a book but could never do it. We yes you can. You just write and write and write until you have enough material for a book. In truth, the editing is the hardest part! People will often say the same thing to me about running a marathon, "Oh, I could never do that". My response is always, the same: "Yes you can, you just put one foot in front of the other until you get to the end."

The second part of the principal, applies those who say, "but Mark, sometimes people just fail." Again my assertion is that is impossible if you don't give up because if you refuse to give up you have already achieved a level of success. You have done what most people never do, pursue their goals with passion and dedication. That is success in itself.

So this week I challenge you to persevere. When things are looking bad, when you feel tired and aren't sure you can keep going, when it seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, just keep going. It is always darkest before the dawn. The highest mountains are preceded by the deepest valleys. If you hang in there, you will meet with success. If people knew how close they were to succeeding when they gave up, they wouldn't. Press on. And to my fellow Maritimers, the snow will melt, summer will come. As you shovel yet again tomorrow, remember, before you know it, we'll be on the beach again!

Accountability Matters

There seems to be a concept gaining popularity that essentially states we are not responsible for our lives. We are not responsible for our actions, we aren’t responsible for our results and we aren’t responsible for each other.

This space is not big enough to enter into the speculation on where this idea has come from, and frankly, I’m not sure that it matters. What I want to address is how you, as a person who wants to be successful and contribute to the world, has to do to avoid failing victim this type of thinking.

Among youth, I see this trend manifesting in everything from grades, to money, to how they treat each other. While MOST young people are hard working, kind and generous people, there are SOME who walk around with an attitude of entitlement. They seem to think that the world owes them something. They think they DESERVE the iPod, the new car, the trendy clothes and whatever else their heart desires. There seems to be little notion, among this group, that these things come as a result of hard work and are not handed out to anyone who decides they want it.

Adults too, are falling prey to this flawed thinking and the results are serious. As much as we’d all like to blame the global credit crisis on irresponsible big banks, each of us is as much to blame. If we were better prepared to handle changes, it wouldn’t have been the issue it has been. Instead, because people think they DESERVE to have everything they want, they have mortgaged themselves into oblivion, maxed out credit cards, and continued to spend without any regard for what would happen if anything went wrong.

What’s my point? All of these issues should be teaching us a very important lesson about the importance of accountability. One of the universal laws of life is that in one way or another, eventually, we will all be held accountable for how we behave. If we commit crimes, we’ll go to jail, if we overspend, we’ll have financial trouble, if we don’t pay the mortgage, we lose or house. There are consequences for actions. Yet many still try to live in make-believe world where there aren’t.

But what if Instead of living in fear of the negative consequences of bad decisions, we started to live with a focus on the positive consequences of good choices? What if instead of not opening bills in the hopes that maybe they’ll go away, and then having to dig out of a deep hole, we were proactive in managing our money and looked forward to the positive consequence of being debt free? What if instead of dreading the fact that we’re getting fatter (more than 50% of North Americans are now obese) and then stick our heads in the ground and continue to stuff our faces, we made a plan to eat better, move more, and looked forward to the positive consequence of slimming down and being in better health?

So why aren’t we more accountable? Surely most of us WANT to live well, do the right thing, make good decisions and be responsible. So why don’t we; because we don’t make ourselves accountable. It is all too easy in today’s world to avoid consequences. Yes they will catch up with us eventually, but we can evade them for a long time, sometimes years. Witness the thousands of 55-75 year old people still working. Not because they want to, but because they have failed to properly prepare for retirement and have now discovered that they simply can’t afford to. They weren’t held accountable for how they were spending and not saving, until it was too late.

In many cases school works the same way. Students fail to do the work and study necessary to learn what they need to learn, but our school system advances them through the grade levels anyway. Students get the message that there no real consequence for not working because hey, I’ll go to grade 11 next year anyway. And then we wonder why they don’t get it when a few years later, they realize that they can’t operate that way in the workplace.

So what can you and I do to deal with the chronic lack of accountability in our world? Probably not much. But we CAN make ourselves accountable. We can realize that if we ensure that we make ourselves accountable for our actions and our results, that we will end up more successful, happier, fulfilled people. How do we do that?

There are a few ways that you can create accountability in your life. Here are my favourites:

1) Get a Coach: Most people think coaches are only for athletes, or maybe people in the depths of crisis. Nothing could be further from the truth. Most of the successful people I know get coaching in some form or another. They realize that a coach can help them by seeing things they cannot see, giving an unbiased opinion on issues, and most importantly by keeping them accountable to themselves. A coach is a great way to be sure that you execute on the goals you set. Learn more about coaching at: (http://www.MarkBlackSpeaks.com/coaching)

2) Create a Mastermind Group – Gather a few colleagues, friends or ideally people who are even a little further ahead on your path than you are, and get together to talk. Meet once a month or maybe more frequently and keep each other posted on your progress. Share you goals and objectives and keep each other ACCOUNTABLE to working on them.

3) Find an Accountability Partner – Find a colleague or friend who you trust, respect and can count on. Set meeting once a month or every two weeks. Share your goals and plans and the actions you plan to take to accomplish them. When you meet each week, ask each other if you have done what you said you would do.

Whatever you can do to hold yourself accountable to yourself is valuable. When you become truly accountable for your actions and your results, your results will improve.

Partnership had Power

I'm a solo-preneur. I work alone. My 'business' is a one-man operation and I am rarely afforded the luxury of having someone else to talk to, bounce ideas off of and encourage me to push myself.

This has advantages and disadvantages. Certainly it's nice to be able to set my own schedule, make my own decisions, and otherwise be my own boss. The downside is that it can get lonely all alone and without someone to push us, challenge us and critique us, it can be very easy to get settled in our ways and cease to grow and improve.

That's why this year, I have taken an active decision to partner with people, both in and outside of, my industry, in order to help me grow, change and improve. I'm working in a master-mind group with other speakers and though leaders to share ideas, bounce ideas off each other and hone my skills.

I'm working with a group of other speakers/authors on a joint-venture project so that we can mutually promote each others' ideas, products and services to each others' clients and thus spread our reach beyond our personal sphere of influence.

Finally, I'm also working with a mentor who is where I want to be, to help guide my actions in order to achieve the success that I'm seeking.

Today I want to ask you, what are you doing to partner with others to raise your level of success? Are you employing the wisdom, experience and contacts of others to help you grow and improve? If you're not, I encourage you to take that step. Seek out other like-minded people and start a master-mind group. A group of people who are all interested in self-improvement and professional development. They might be from the same field, but they need not be. All that matters is that they are all interested in getting better and that they are willing to invest time and energy to achieve those results.

Call a few people who you think would make good mastermind group partners and schedule a meeting. You can meet once a month, once a week or a few times a year. What's important is that everyone be invested in improving, both themselves and the other members. You will find you can help each other and collectively you will achieve much more than you could have alone.

Good luck! And keep me posted. Let me know how it goes.

Are you at your limit?

Limitations, or more accurately, perceived limitations, play a large role in our ability to realize our potential and achieve our goals. As a starting point to learn about how perceived limitations affect our lives, I'd ask you to consider this questions, "what would you do if you couldn't fail?" Seriously think about that for a minute...

Do you have a long list of things flooding your brain? Is there a litany of things that you haven't done that you'd like to do but haven't because you had some "good reason" why you couldn't? It is exactly in these things that you will find the sneaky power of limitations affecting you. Chances are good that whatever you have written off as "impractical", "impossible" or "unlikely" are only thus because you have decided they are. Today I want to encourage you to reconsider.

Now I don't want to be seen as getting carried away here. I will grant you that there are limitations. We all live in a physical world that physical world does have some limitations. And as physical beings we also have some physical limitations (not that most of us will come close to reaching them). The problem is not that some limitations exist, but rather that most of us never test them. Knowing we have limits, some of us make the choice to live lives steering far clear of those limits. We choose to use those limits as excuses not to push ourselves.

For example, what do you think you are worth? What salary are you making today? What is the maximum salary you can envision yourself making? Chances are good it's within 100% of what you make now. So if you make $40,000 you might be able to see yourself making $80,000-$100,000 one day, but you'd have a hard time imagining yourself making $300,000. Why is that a problem? Because you are placing artificial limits on yourself that need not hold you back.

The point isn't about money. You can be perfectly happy on $40,000, some are happy on much less and some are miserable with much more. I'm not meaning to imply that money is the key to happiness, but just that our mental perceptions have the power to hold us back from becoming all that we can be. Case in point, Ted Williams, the homeless man from Ohio who last week was living on the street, but since being 'discovered' for his great voice, has already recorded a commercial and appeared on the Today show (http://www.allvoices.com/contributed-news/7808698-homelessness-to-fame-for-ted-williams-nbc-2nd-chance-as-announcer-and-then-i-can-tell-you-what-the-kids-are-doing).

Granted most of us will not have such a dramatic transformation of our life circumstances, but the ARE possible, if you believe they are. Probably the most powerful example of expectations shaping reality for me comes from the world of running (no surprise for those who have been reading my blog and newsletters for a while).

You may be familiar with the story of Roger Banister. If you aren't, Roger Banister was the first man to run a mile in under 4minutes. Until he did it, hundreds had tried and failed. The record had stood for years and some scientists had even released research declaring it "physically impossible" for a human being to run a mile in under 4min. It just couldn't be done... until Roger Banister did it. What's more amazing than Banister's feat, which is an accomplishment in it's own right, is that AFTER Banister broke the 4min mile mark, more than 5 people went even faster in the next 10 years and MANY others also broke the 4min mark.

But that was impossible wasn't it? Of course not. It was perceived to be impossible. Like going to the moon, splitting the atom, and any other "impossible" thing that we as human beings have done, it was only impossible until we could make our mind see that it wasn't. Once the mind could get there, we weren't long behind.

So take a look this week at what is limiting you. Chances are good that it isn't really a limitation, just a perceived limitation. If you can get your mind around the idea that you can do it, than you can. Make 2011 the year you do something you used to think was impossible.

If you Believe It You can Achieve It

There are few universal truths in life but this is one of them. I firmly believe that there is nothing that you can’t achieve if you completely believe that you can do it. What is equally true, and evident in the lives of far too many people is, “If you can’t believe it, you won’t achieve it.” In other words, it has to be true in your mind and your heart before it can come true in your life.

Belief is a powerful thing. It is much different from hoping, dreaming or wishing. Believing you can do something means that you know you can do it. You may not know how you’re going to do it, or when, but you know in your heart that you can make it happen. What do you believe you are capable of?

When I was first listed for my transplant, I had a meeting with the head of the transplant team. During the meeting he explained how the transplant process worked. He made sure that I fully understood all of the risks involved in the surgery. He said that if everything went as it should, that I should be able to go back to work part-time someday. That was his ultimate goal for me.

If I had suggested that not only would I return to work, but that I would start my own business as a speaker, travel all over North America helping people realize their potential, I’d write a book, and that I’d run three marathons, he would never have believed me. I shudder to think today where I would be in my life if I had lived within the confines of my doctor’s expectations. I know they were only trying to prepare me for every possibility; but if I had not decided that I was going to expect more from myself than they did, I would never have achieved half of what I have. Expect more from yourself than anyone else does.

If you have people in your life who impose limiting expectations on you, you must have the courage to politely listen, and then ignore them. It doesn’t mean you have to shut these people out of your life, just don’t let them impose their limiting attitude on you.

So many of us will never achieve half of what we could because deep down, we don’t really believe that our goals are attainable or that we’re worthy of the great things in life. We’ve bought into the lie that most of us are just ordinary folks who should only do ordinary things, work at ordinary jobs and make ordinary money. There’s nothing wrong with that. But if you want more, and you believe that you can do more, there is nothing to stop you… except you.

In order to achieve everything you are capable of, you must believe that it is possible and chances are good that, because of the negative messages you’ve received throughout your life from the world around you, you don’t believe you’re capable of much. This week I want to challenge you to reconsider your potential.


Action Item
Consider this week what you believe is possible for you and your life. Take a moment here and write down the goals that you believe in your heart you can achieve:

You will never achieve something that you believe to be impossible but you can certainly achieve something that OTHERS think is impossible. So start focusing on what you want to achieve with the mindset that it is possible.

Opportunity Doesn't Always Knock

There is a proverb that states "opportunity only knocks once". A lot of the time, that may be true, but I believe that even more often, it doesn't even knock at all. It just comes to the door, stands there, and waits for a few minutes to see if we'll come out to greet it. If we do, great, if not, it moves on the house down the street. Sometimes, you even have to go to the side of the road and flag it down as it flies by.

Okay, so maybe I've stretched the metaphor a little, but you get the point. If you spend your lives waiting around for life to come to you, you may just miss out. Success comes to those who go out and make things happen.

This past week I was able to land a major speaking opportunity, but the opportunity didn't come knocking. In fact, I had to go out and find it and then work really, really hard to seal the deal.

The event is the Atlantic Dream Festival (contact me at: Mark@MarkBlackSpeaks.com for tickets) and features many big name speakers. I saw the event advertised for weeks. Each time I drove by one of the big billboards in town, I thought to myself how great it would be to be a part of the event.

For many, myself included a lot of the time, it would have ended there. I would have thought, "oh that would be nice" but I wouldn't have done anything about it. But this time, for whatever reason, was different. I wanted to be a part of the event, so I decided to take action. I contacted the organizers, offered my services and made my best pitch to get myself in.

It took several tries. After generating considerable positive interest, I though I had the deal done, only to have it disintegrate. Not willing to give up, I made one more last-ditch effort. I took a considerable risk, offering something I had never done before, in order to entice the organizers to find room for me...and they did.

Only time will tell if my risk pays off, but the lessons learned in getting the gig, will stay with me and serve me well the rest of my career. A lesson about persistence, motivation and making your dreams come true. A lesson I hope you'll learn as well.

This week I challenge you to go out and make things happen for yourself! Opportunities will most certainly come in the course of your life, but if you sit around waiting for them to come, you'll find there are less of them and they'll come less often. Opportunity begets opportunity. So go out there and make your dreams come true!

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If you want an added boost to help you on that road, check out the Atlantic Dream Festival. Listen to speaker from Sir Richard Branson (Virgin companies) to Steve Murphy (Live at 5) over the course of 3 days. You're bound to take something home that is worth multiples of the price of a ticket. To get more info or a ticket, contact me at: Mark@MarkBlackSpeaks.com or Call me: 506-878-0492.

Appreciating LIFE

When was the last time you too a moment and really appreciated your life? Have you taken some time lately to sit back, examine your life, and realize how fortunate you are and how amazing life is?

Tomorrow is a special day for me. It is the 8th anniversary of the day I received my Heart and Double-Lung transplant. For me this day is a special as my birthday, maybe even more so. This day is the day that I was given a second chance to live life, and in the last eight years, I've been blessed to be able to experience many things that I would never have experienced otherwise.

I've been able to get married and have a child. I never thought I'd be able to have a family of my own. It's been an amazing blessing. I've also had the opportunity to become a runner, something I was never healthy enough to do before the transplant. Finally, I've been blessed to become a speaker and travel North America meeting thousands of amazing people, and hopefully inspiring them along the way (www.MarkBlackSpeaks.com). So when this day comes along each year it is a reminder to me to appreciate the life I've been given and ask myself if I'm appreciating it the way I should. (To learn more about becoming an organ donor, go to: http://www.organsandtissues.ca/english/ldpe/pdfs/English_LDPE_Brochure_NDD.pdf

So what do you have to be thankful for? What are you taking for granted in your life? Do you have children? Do they get on your nerves sometimes? Of course they do;)but you also love them more than anything in the world. Which do you spend more time focused on? Do you take time to appreciate that love and the miracle that is their lives?

The truth is that we're all guilty of taking things for granted in life (myself definitely included). The challenge is to recognize when we're falling into that pattern and shake ourselves out of it. It doesn't take much thinking to come up with something to appreciate, not does it take some major life event like a birth, or my case a transplant. For example, this morning I awoke to a beautiful blue sunny sky. The same blue sunny sky we've enjoyed all summer here in Atlantic Canada. Last summer we hardly saw that sun. So we're all very appreciative of it this summer. Last week we were forecast to be hit with Hurricane Earl. All indications were that the heart of the storm was going to hit us and hit us hard. In the end, it brushed by and hardly hit us at all. There was little to no damage done and everyone is fine. Something to appreciate; it could have been much, much worse.

So this week I challenge you to appreciate your life. Enjoy it. Recognize all of the things that are going right and focus on those rather than on the things that maybe aren't quite where you'd like them to be. By doing this you will not only realize how fortunate you are, but you'll also be in a better position mentally and emotionally to do something about the parts of your life that you want to improve.

Have a great week. And by the way, I very much appreciate the opportunity to share these thoughts with you and that so many of you take the time each week to read them!

Do it Because You Can... And Someday You Won't Be Able To

Today I received a health update about an acquaintance of mine and it inspired me to write this week's article. You see, Linda and I met at the Ottawa Marathon in 2006. She was running the full marathon. Then this past winter, in her early 50's, Linda had a massive stroke. At first we weren't sure she would make it at all. Now nine months later, she's still here, but she is still not able to stand or walk, let alone run. While we're all hopeful, the truth is, she will likely never run again.

Linda's story is sad and one reasonable reaction to it would be to get discouraged, curse the fact that life is so unfair, and decide that there's no point. My reaction was different, and I know it would make Linda proud. I decided to use Linda's experience to help me to remember how lucky I am to be ABLE to do the things that I do, especially running. I use her story to fuel what I call a "GET TO" attitude rather than a "HAVE TO" one.

In distance running, as in life, there are many times when it is easy to feel like our training program is a list of things we have "have to" do. Today I ran 16k and in truth, when I woke up this morning, I wasn't looking forward to doing it. It was a hot morning, the route was full of hills, and it is the longest run I've done in a while. If I'd had a good reason, I'd have skipped it. But I didn't have a good reason and so I went out and did it. But it wasn't until I got back home and checked my email that I realized what a great run I had.

I opened my email to find the update on Linda, and how much she is still struggling to get back to 25% of where she once was, and I realized that I was extremely fortunate to have done what I just did, and that realization changed my whole perspective on not just this run, but my running and my life in general.

How do you approach your daily tasks? How do you feel when you go to work in the morning? What feeling do you have when you set out to do something that maybe isn't your favourite thing to do? What if you looked at it with the story of a person like Linda in mind? The truth is, no matter what you're doing in the run of a day, there is probably someone, somewhere, who would LOVE to have the opportunity to be doing it.

Are you frustrated sitting in traffic? Think of the person who can't afford a car. Are you dreading the hour on the treadmill this afternoon? Think of the person who can't walk. Can't think of anything good to make for supper? Think of the mother who struggles to feed her children. The more we're able to appreciate our ability to do things, the more we're able to enjoy life.

So why run marathons? Because I can. What can you do that you should be doing?

Trying a Tri

I made a decision this week. I need a new challenge. After finishing another half marathon this May, the drive to do another one wasn't as strong as it once was. I still love to run, but I feel like I need a change. So after toying with it for the better part of a year, I've decided to try a triathlon!

I'm not nearly as confident about it as I wish I were. My swimming leaves much to be desired and I'm not the world's strongest biker either, but the idea of completing a triathlon has a lure that is particularly attractive.

Let me be perfectly clear, this attempt is NOT a full triathlon. I've actually come to learn that triathlon's come in a variety of distances starting at with a "try a tri" distance all the way to Ironman distance. The traditional triathlon is what is known as the olympic distance: (1.5 km swim, 40 km ride, 10 km run); there is a shorter version known as the "sprint" which is - (750 m swim, 20 km bike, 5 km run); there is also the "long course or half-ironman distance" - (1.9 km swim, 90 km ride, 21.1 km run) and then the Full Ironman - (3.86 km swim, a 180.25 km bike and a marathon 42.2 km run).

I'll be attempting a sprint distance in August. My biggest concern is the swim. To do 750m in the ocean is very intimidating. My swimming will have to improve significantly in order for me to be able to do it, but with training, God-willing, I'll finish it.

Simple Pleasures, Beautiful Moments

With each passing year, I come more and more to realize that the greatest joys in life come from simple pleasures and beautiful moments. It truly is "not the years in our life but the life in our years" that matters.

Last night I enjoyed one of those beautiful moments that makes you grateful to be alive. Unlike most nights when I allow my wife to do the work of putting our two year old daughter Emma, to bed, last night I took over the job. I wasn't particularly excited to do it since yesterday was a tough day for Emma. She's fighting a cold, cutting her molars and in general just not in a good mood. She'd been whiny all night and I didn't exactly relish the thought of putting her to bed. But I'm certainly glad now that I did.

After brushing our teeth (yes I have to brush mine too so that she'll brush hers) we went to pick out a story. Emma picked the Sears catalogue to read (one of her favourites... I know it doesn't make any sense, but it's what she likes). After flipping through the pages for a while and finding the dolls and the toys, we closed it and I was ready to put her in her crib, but instead of doing that, I decided to just hold her in my arms and rock her a bit.

Normally, Emma is very squirmy, even at bed time, and doesn't let you hold her for too long. But last night she allowed her father the chance to hold her in his arms and just rock with her and then I started to sing. Nothing in particular, bits and pieces of different songs as lyrics came into my head. It didn't matter what I sang I knew. She just laid her little head on my shoulder and allowed me that simple, beautiful, moment. And it did take my breath away.

So often we get caught up in the constant struggle to create great moments in our lives. We spend months planning elaborate trips and parties, we schedule every minute of our vacations, and we try to pack in as much as we can. We work hard at our fun sometimes. But often, the greatest joys in life, the moments that take our breath away, are the simplest, and the cheapest. They're the moments that sneak up on us. All we have to do is sit back, let them happen and take them in.

Today I wish you many, many beautiful moments. I encourage you to be open to them and when they happen, to recognize and appreciate them. For they are the true treasures of life.

Setting UNrealistic and UNachievable Goals

Conventional goal-setting wisdom advises, among other things, that you make your goals: achievable and realistic. I think that's crap. If goals were meant to be achievable and realistic most of the world's greatest achievements and inventions would never have happened. Effective goals should be UN-realistic and NOT QUITE Achievable. Why?

1. Because if you want to be motivated to achieve something, you need to be excited about it, and it's hard to get excited about something you know you can do in your sleep.

2. Goals are meant to help you realize your potential. If a goal isn't pushing you beyond your comfort zone, it's not doing it's job!

Am I suggesting that your goals should be completely impossible? No, there's not much point in that. For example, the goal to become the world's fastest marathoner is not mine - at 4'11" with a new heart and lungs it just plain ain't ever gonna happen. I'll also never be the biggest, fastest or strongest at anything. And that's ok with me.

As a motivational speaker, you might expect me to say that anyone can do anything, but I won't say that because truth be told, that just isn't true, and we all know it. But what is also true, is that a whole lot more is possible than most people think, and you will never achieve more than you think is possible. You just gotta' believe.

This week I challenge you to challenge yourself. When was the last time you really pushed yourself? When was the last time you explored your limits and tried to go beyond them? When was the last time you re-examined what you consider "impossible" and then proved yourself wrong? Part of living fully is daring to fail enough to find out what you're really capable of doing. So go out there this week and fail. Set some UN-realistic and UN-achievable goals. You might just do something incredible!
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Learn more about Mark's inspirational programs and his best-selling book "Live Life from the Heart: 52 Weeks to a Life of Passion and Purpose" go to: www.MarkBlackSpeaks.com

Why Set Goals?

Yesterday I ran my fifth Half-Marathon. After sixteen weeks of training through the long, cold, winter, I ran the event two minutes shy of my goal time. But we had a blast, we finished it, and to me, that's a successful day.

There is more written about how to set and achieve goals than most of us would or could ever read. It's talked about in almost every self-help book I've ever read and is the focus of volumes in itself. What is talked about much less often, but I think equally important is not the HOW of setting and achieving goals, but the WHY.

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself, "Why should I bother setting a goal? What's the point?". I can say that, even as a motivational speaker who you might think takes goal setting as a given, I have spent a good deal of time thinking about the "why" of goal setting. After all, I think, if I'm going to suggest to people that this is something they should do, I ought to have a good reason. Here it is... it makes you happier. Goal setting makes your life better! And here's the best part, you don't necessarily need to achieve the goal in order to enjoy the happiness benefits that come with it!

Studies have shown that people are happy when they are pursuing a goal, but that once the goal is achieved, there is usually a sense of letdown. BEcause the happiness comes from the feelings one has while pursuing a goal, the realization of the goal is rarely as satisfying as anticipated, and once achieved is quickly incorporated into a persons understanding of reality and thus is less exciting. It is likely this same phenomenon responsible for the studies that show that lottery winners' levels of happiness return to base levels quite quickly. We all dream of the big lottery win, but once we get it, we realize that, hey, it's only money, it doesn't solve all of our problems, and we still have to deal with live like we did before.

So why set goals?
The biggest reason is that it improves our lives and the lives of others. Setting worth while goals makes you a better person, and depending on what they are, way also help many other people along the way as well. The entrepreneur who sets out to create a great company enriches the life of his family with this earnings, benefits his customers with his product or service, and helps all of his employees by providing gainful employment. Win, Win, Win.

The author who sets out to write the next great book benefits from the experience of writing and from the sales of his work. The readers who enjoy the work gain a nice experience of escape from the a novel or learning from a work of non-fiction. The people who work in the publishing house and the bookstores benefit from employment that comes from the selling of that book. Win, Win, Win.

These are all valid and worthwhile reasons to set goals, but the biggest of all is what pursuing a goal does for us internally. The sense of joy, usefulness and purpose that comes from having a goal to pursue are real and powerful. Having a goal gives a reason to get up in the morning. Having a goal gives our lives direction and purpose. Having a goal informs us about what matters and what doesn't and about how we should spend our time.

So go out there and set some goals. Try to achieve as many of them as you can. You probably won't achieve them all, but that's okay, in fact, it almost doesn't matter if you achieve them or not. After all it is the pursuit that makes you happy and improves your life. Achieving the goal is really just a bonus.

The Olympic Spirit

Well the games are half over already (hard to believe) and I've loved almost every minute of it so far. From the suspense of who would light the torch at the opening ceremonies (wasn't it was so diplomatically Canadian to not choose one but several torch lighters?) to the thrill of Bilodeau's first gold medal won by a Canadian on home soil, it's been a great first week.

Certainly there have also been setbacks and even tragedies. The loss of the Georgian slider and the Canadian figure skater whose mother passed away two days before she has to skate could be viewed as real dampening factors, but to me, while we would never wish for these things to happen, somehow they make the light of the Olympic flame and the Olympic spirit shine all the brighter. Why? Because when these things happen amidst the games of the Olympics it reminds us of what the games are really all about, a spirit of comraderie, competition and mutual love.

Where else can you see images of athletes congratulating each other on great performances even though they might be from countries whose governments are at war. Where else can you see an entire nation get excited and support someone they don't even know?

Much has been made over the last few days of what the media is beginning to call the failure of Canada's "Own the Podium" program. As the title implies, the goal of the program was to win more medals than any other country. With the US (at the time of this post) with a a total of 24 and Canada with only 9 and in 4th place overall, that certainly looks like that won't happen. But was the program a failure? That remains to be seen. Canada's record for most medals won is 24 in Turin in 2006. And that was with only 7 gold. We already have 4 gold in Vancouver and there are MANY more possibilities to come (Just think 2 in curling, 1 or 2 in hockey and that's already 4 more). In fact, some experts are saying Canada could still win many more medals including many golds. Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir have a chance tonight in Ice Dancing, two of our women Ski Cross skiers are in the top 4 in the world and hold good chances for medals, and Saturday before the games end is a 5 medal day possibility.

So will Canada win more medals than any other country? Probably not. But can we still win more medals than we ever have before? Possibly. So let's not count ourselves out yet and let's measure success with a dose of perspective. Of course it would be nice to lead the medal count, but I hardly think a country best for medals won can be considered a failure.

Go Canada Go!

The Trials of Travel - Part 2

Well it's been a few days and now since the last entry. I promised at the end of that entry that 1) I would let you know how things turned out and 2) What positive lessons could be learned. So here goes...

1) My wife, daughter and mother were not able to book a flight back home as nothing was available for several days. They were able to get a flight on Jet Blue that got them to Portland, ME which is more than 1/2 way so they took that. My dad, after getting home at 1AM the night before, got up at 7:00 AM turned around and drove the 7 hrs back south to pick them up. Luckily we have relatives near Portland and my family and parents were able to stay there after Dad arrived so they could rest a bit before the trek back home. They all arrived safe and sound Thursday evening. Thank God.

Now, what can we take from this experience... that depends, as I talk about in my presentations all the time, on what we choose to focus on. There are a plethora of negative things that we could focus on from this trip: the lost bags, cold and cloudy weather, three people getting sick, the lack of help from the airline during any part of the ordeal, my wife being so ill on the way home that she couldn't fly etc etc etc but focusing on those things does us no good, and not only that, it ruins the vacation by overshadowing the good stuff that happened. So I'm choosing to focus on the good things like: riding with my wife on the Tower of Terror and watching her scream all the way; seeing the amazing and inspiring presentation at Sea World as the world's largest creatures jumped farther into the air than I ever thought possible; and one memory that will stay with me for a LONG time, the look on daughter's face when she met the Disney princesses.

All in all, we still had a great vacation. Was it a smooth one? No. Did it go as planned? No. Are we still going to make sure American Airlines knows how unhappy we are with them? Yep. But still, it was a good time, and the "adventures" we had actually have one big plus: they'll make sure that we'll never forget that week!

So what's the big lesson? We can only control so much in our lives. In fact, we can control much less than we'd like to think. So when circumstances go against you, don't stress, don't freak out, just do your best to "go with the flow". Things will turn around. They always do. Take comfort in the knowledge that while much is out of your control, there's one thing you can always do something about; how you handle adversity and what you choose to focus on. I'm choosing to focus on that image of my daughter's face.

Looking Back and Looking Ahead

We're ten days from the end of the year and from the end of the decade. It's hard to believe, but in less than two weeks, another ten years will be gone. I don't know about you, but it seems to me like it was a few days ago we were worrying about Y2K (remember that?) and now we're getting ready to welcome 2010. So as the year comes to a close it's time for taking stock.

Ask most people about New Year's and they'll tell you that it's a time when they set new goals and look ahead to the future. While many people never bother to set goals and make plans, almost everyone engages in the exercise of setting resolutions. While I'm all in favour of setting New Year's Resolutions, this week I want to focus on someone that is most often overlooked but potentially even more important, looking back.

Looking back isn't about regrets and dwelling on our mistakes, it's about taking stock of where we've been as a way to guide us toward where we want to be. The end of a year is a great time to take stock of what you've accomplished over the past 365 days, take a deeper look at the challenges you faced, and most importantly, the lessons you've learned. In this case, we get to look back at a whole decade, so there's lots to be gleaned if we'll just take the time to look. Here is some of my lists:

2000's Accomplishments:

• Told I was going to die, faced the challenge head on without ever giving up hope
• Survived a life-saving Heart-Lung Transplant
• Took myself from zero fitness level to a marathon finish line.
• Ran 3 marathons and 4 half marathons
• Wrote and published my book
• Re-planned my life and discovered a new career path
• Started my own business
• Spoke to 50,000 people in over 100 presentations
• Met and married my wife
• Had our first child Emma
• Bought our first, and then our second house

2000's Challenges:

• Told I may die at 23
• Lived in a hospital bed for 6 months
• Broke up with my first serious girl friend
• Dealt with depression on and off throughout
• Developed anxiety disorder
• Realized I couldn't be a teacher like I'd planned

2000's Lessons Learned:

• You never lose unless you give up
• You can beat anything with enough determination, endurance and optimism
• However bad something may be, there are always lessons to be learned from it
• What doesn't kill you really does make you stronger
• Anything can be accomplished with big vision, self-confidence and dogged determination
• As long as you have family and friends nothing else much matters

I hope you enjoyed my lists, but more importantly, I hope that they encourage you to make your own. In the next ten days, set aside a little time to take inventory of where you've been this past decade. See what you learn. It can be a very helpful tool to take you to the next level in your professional and personal life.

Faith - You Gotta' Believe

If there is a universal key to success it is faith. The belief that one will succeed is essential to achieving whatever goals one might have. So I thought at this time of year, when children provide a great example of faith in the form of their belief in a big man with a red suit, it would be a good time to discuss this success principal.

To achieve anything in life, you must first believe it is possible. In fact, I dare say that you have never realized a goal that you didn't first believe you could accomplish (even if that belief was shadowed with some doubts). At it's most basic level, we all accept this principal. We know that we'll never be a good parent, wife, husband etc. we must have at least a basic faith that we are capable of being that person. We know we'll fall down, we know we'll fall short, but we must also know we are capable. However, for some reason, despite being able to have faith in ourselves when it comes to fundamental abilities, we so often fail to have faith in ourselves to do extraordinary things, when it is exactly at the time that we attempt those things when faith is most critical.

Start working on your faith. You Can Do Anything. Period. The sooner you can make this a core belief, the sooner you will meet with success.

Finding Contentment

Eight years ago I found myself in a hospital bed waiting for a miracle to save my life. I was on the heart-lung transplant waiting list, unsure of how, or even if, my life would continue. I was blessed to have family and friends to support me along the way but it was still a tough situation.

In the years since that time, many people asked me how it felt to have my life "on hold". To them, I wasn't really living, I was just "on hold". I wasn't really living. But they were wrong. During that six months I learned one of the most important lessons of my life, that happiness isn't found in what you do, how much you have, or don't have, or even if you're healthy (in fact I was very, very, sick) happiness comes from being able to find contentment wherever you are. Happiness comes from cultivating appreciation, especially for the little things.

While in hospital for six months, I learned to cultivate an appreciation for time with family, card games, the perfect meal. In other words, I learned to enjoy life's simple pleasures.It wasn't that I didn't still have goals and dreams; I most certainly did. But instead of needing those things in order to be happy, I realized that I could cultivate happiness right where I was, sick in a hospital bed. My happiness was not dependent on a set of conditions. I learned to just BE.

This holiday, strive to avoid getting caught up in ensuring that every details is perfect. Don't get overly stressed that this or that isn't "just right". Instead take the time to savour the moments. Enjoy your time with family and friends. Sing carols, have great conversations, play fun games and take it all in. This, after all, is what life is all about. Next year you won't remember if the stuffing was perfect or the bow didn't match the paper on one of your gifts. What you'll remember is the time you spent with people you care about. You'll remember the little things.

Have a blessed and merry Christmas. Just remember to slow down enough to take it in.

Holiday Craziness Begins - Keep Perspective

Well it's been far too long since my last blog entry. My apologies. It's been a busy November, but that's no excuse. I started the month with a great trip to one of the premier student leadership conferences in the world, the Ontario Student Leadership Conference. This year was the conference's 30th anniversary and brought in some pretty big names.

I had the chance to hear and meet Craig Keilburger of Free the Children (www.freethechildren.com). Then we heard from Dr. Samantha Nutt Executive Director of WarChild (www.warchild.ca) an organization that works to provide humanitarian assistance to children of war affected areas around the world. Both are great organizations that are making a difference. Check them out and lend your support. Both speakers were passionate, empowering and enlightening. Although I was at the conference to speak, I gained much, much more by listening to the other speakers there!

This entry I wanted to remind you on this "Black Friday" in the US (The biggest shopping day of the year) to maintain perspective during the hectic schedule of the holiday season. At this time of the year we are bombarded, even more than usual, with commercialism. The ads for the newest and greatest toys and gadgets are constant. We are tempted continuously to believe that we just had the perfect whatever, we'll be happier. Have you noticed how often the ads at Christmas talk about buying yourself a little something while you're shopping? What used to be at least a process about thinking of others has become as much about ourselves as anything else.

So this holiday season try to filter out some of the advertising, take a deep breath, and remember what really counts. Don't get too wrapped up (pardon the pun) in the gifts and stress but instead focus on what matters, family and friends and time together.

Be thankful for all that you have and appreciate it. And, if the spirit moves you, consider forgoing a few presents in order to help those less fortunate instead. Last year my wife and I decided to skip presents to each other and instead sponsor a child in Africa for a year. It was a great decision that we haven't regretted for a moment. Whatever we'd have gotten each other would probably be at the back of the closet by now or forgotten, instead we have the picture of our sponsored child on the fridge and know that our small contribution is making his life at least a little bit easier. A great feeling.

So don't let yourself get stressed, frazzled and irritated this year. Relax, take in the beautiful spirit that most people are in most of the time during this special time of year. And remember what this time is really supposed to be about. There is nothing wrong with giving and receiving gifts, it's a wonderful part of our holiday tradition, but let's not let it because the WHOLE tradition.

Lessons Learned... Be Early

Yesterday I was put in my place. A client I'd been working with told me that she felt like she wasn't a priority in my life because I had been late to our last two meetings.

The worst part about this wasn't losing the client, it was the fact that she was right. Despite KNOWING that it is important to be early, despite TELLING OTHERS that it's important to be early, I was late. Twice. Pretty bad.

So learn a lesson from me today, practice what you preach, and be early. It shows respect to the person you're meeting, and allows you to be totally prepared.