The Little Things

This week we were blessed to welcome our new son "Matteo" into the world. At just over 7lbs at birth and now a little lighter than that, he has reminded me about the importance of the "little things" in life. When it comes right down to it, most of the important things in life are the little things. Yes your wedding day, the birth of a child, the big promotion, can all be major days in your life and provide lots of great memories. But the quality of your life isn't determined so much by those few great "big" moments, as much as it is by the accumulation of all of the amazing little ones.

The same is also true in the business world. While the major decisions you make are important, the success you have will be determined more by the multitude of small actions - the little things - that you do each day, each week, and each month, that accumulate to shape your destiny.

This is a critical concept to understand because it can be easy to miss. Many of us fall into the trap of focusing so hard on the few milestone moments in our lives that we gloss over the multitude of little moments and small decisions we make where the difference is really made.

So this week I encourage you to become more aware of the many wonderful little things in your life and appreciate them. I also want you to take a look at how you manage your days to see how you are using those little things you do each day. Are you executing them at 100%? Are you giving them the attention they require? If not, start. This is where success is gained or lost.

The Power of a Mentor

Do you have a mentor? A coach? Who do you have helping guide you on the path to success?

For far too many people, the answers to those questions are "No", "No" and "Nobody". And that's too bad. Unfortunately, far too many people never get any help at all on their journey to success. They think they are supposed to have all of the answers. They assume that once we get to a certain age we're supposed to have life all figured out so there should be no need for guidance from someone else. What those who are most successful understand, is that nothing could be further from the truth.

What do Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky and Tiger Woods all have in common? Firstly they are all arguably the greatest athletes to ever play their respective sports. Secondly, they all had trusted coaches. Many make the mistake of assuming that people like these would have no need for a coach. After all, if you are the best to ever play your sport, obviously a coach, no matter how good, can't be better at the sport than you are, so what can you possibly learn from him or her?

That's exactly the wrong approach. What a coach can do better than anyone, is see what you can't see. They can spot where you are falling down, where you are weak and what you can do to improve. Because they are removed from the situation and have a view that you don't, they can help you spot small issues and tell you how to make a change that can make a dramatic difference.

The other thing that a trusted coach or advisor can provide, is an accountability partner. Someone who will hold you to what you say you are going to do. That is critical because one of the biggest reasons people don't achieve their goals and dreams, is not because they don't know what to do or how to do it, it's that they just don't do it. The intend to, but they don't. If you have coach or advisor who can check in with you and say "hey did you do what you said you were going to do last week?" it forces you to be accountable and take action. When we take ACTION we can really start to improve our lives.

So find a coach. Get an advisor. Find an accountability partner. It can be someone you hire, but it doesn't have to be. Find someone who you respect and admire who has achieved some of the things you want to achieve and see if they would be willing to guide you. After a few months working with a mentor or coach, you will begin to see dramatic changes in your life.

Suck it Up Princess

The title of this article is a phrase my friends and I used often with each other throughout our college years. When someone was whining and complaining about an assignment they had to do, an exam they had to prepare for, or any other work that they wanted to postpone, our "caring" and "loving" response was most often "suck it up princess".

To some that probably comes off as being a little harsh. After all, aren't friends supposed to be supportive of each other? Of course they are. And when someone really needed support and a shoulder to cry on, we were there for each other. But more often than not, a complaint to a friend about this or that isn't so much a plea for sympathy as it is a chance to vent. Most often, as people, we just want to be heard and so we would let our friends vent, and then, when they were done, we'd remind them that if they wanted things to get better, they'd better get off their butt and do something about it. They'd better, "suck it up".

Self pity is a sure road to a life of misery and lost potential. Those who fall into the trap of continuously feeling sorry for themselves will never become what they could be because they will be too focused on the dozens of reasons they have for NOT doing things. The fact is, we all have dozens of reasons for not becoming what we can be. Those who are able to realize their potential and make a positive contribution to the world aren't immune from the challenges of life. Those people simply make a choice not to live in a place of being a victim. They chose to suck it up and move on and I would encourage you to do the same.

I realize that to some reading this, the philosophy I'm espousing here may seem cold and unsympathetic. And if you feel that way, honestly... too bad. I AM unsympathetic in many ways to the complaints and "trials" of many people. I am NOT unsympathetic to those with legitimate trials and challenges in life. And there are many who fall into this category. If you are battling a chronic illness, have severe financial struggles or are dealing with death, depression or some other significant loss, than my heart truly does go out to you. But for those with complaints that: "the economy is too tough for me to succeed", "that it's just to hard to eat right and take care of myself", that "I'm too busy to find time to spend with those I love", that "the world just isn't fair and everyone is out to get me", I have just three words: "suck. it. up."

If you want to be what you can, and ultimately were meant, to be in this world, then you have to get tough. You have to become unwilling to bow to the pressure and not allow yourself to wallow in self-pity and excuses and instead, suck it up, move on, and get about the business of living life.

Love is Fuel

I am called a "motivational speaker" and even though I don't really talk that much about motivation specifically, people often ask me "what is the secret to staying motivated?". Everyone wants to know what they need to do to say motivated at work, in life and in pursuit of their goals. So, what is that secret? One word... LOVE.

It's this simple:
Those who achieve the highest levels of success love what they do.
Those who have the greatest joy in life and at work, love what they do.
Those who we admire most because of their achievements, their attitude, and the difference they make in the lives of others, love what they do.

So I ask you; do you love what they do?
If you're answer is no, you now have two choices: figure out how to start loving what you do, or start doing something else. There are no other logical conclusions. And yet I know that some of you reading this right now, are working at jobs you hate. Some of you are stuck in relationships that are making you miserable. I challenge you right now, that if you are in that situation, start creating a plan for how you can change it.

Of course I wouldn't suggest that you quit your job or split up with your partner tomorrow, unless it's a real emergency. But I do want to say that life is too short not to love what you do and who you spend it with. No life is perfect, but if you love who you experience it with, and what you spend most of it doing, then you'll live a life as close to perfect as we can as human beings.

Life is meant to be loved. Create a life that you can love.

What Can We Learn from Aaron Rogers

If you were not one of the estimated 100million people who watched the Super Bowl last night, you missed something quite special. Beyond a great game, you missed a powerful lesson on success from a 27 yr old named Aaron Rogers.

Rogers, the quarterback of the champion GreenBay Packers and the Super Bowl MVP last night, put on a great show, completing 24 of 39 passes for 309 yards, 3 TDs and 0 interceptions. (For those non-football fans this is about as solid a performance as you can get). What's more impressive is knowing a little bit about Rodgers' back story. It is also, as is usually the case, where the lessons can be learned.

Last night Aaron Rodgers won a Super Bowl and was named Most Valuable Player of the game. The pinnacle for any football player. He is living every professional athlete's dream right now. But it hasn't always been roses for Rodgers.

Rodgers' career has been full of disappointments and set backs. Out of high school, he wasn't selected to a division 1 college like most NFL players. He only got one offer, and declined it, instead choosing to play junior college. After doing well there, he moved up and played well for UofC Berkley and by the time the 2005 NFL draft came along he was one of the favourites to go high, maybe even 1st overall some thought. Great turnaround right? He was picked 24th.

After being selected by the Packers, despite his great credentials, Rodgers didn't step into a starting job. He spent the first two years of his professional career in the shadow of Green Bay's storied quarterback Brett Favre. He thought he'd get his break when Favre announced his retirement in 2006, but Favre later changed his mind, relegating Rodgers to back-up status for another year. In 2007, Favre did the same thing and again Rodgers spent most of his season on the bench. On top of that, he broke his foot and spent lots of time not even being able to practice. Not exactly the story legends are made of.

But through all of the setbacks Rodgers was getting ready. He was studying film, learning from Favre, training, practicing, and preparing for when he would get the opportunity to show the world what he could really do. And last, night, in front of the biggest in-person crowd in Super Bowl history (an estimated 100,000+ saw the game live in Dallas) and certainly the biggest TV crowd he's ever played for, Rodgers played the game of his life. His team are Super Bowl champs and he is the MVP. It doesn't get better than that.

So what's the lesson for us? Never give up? Keep on believing? Sure. But the real lesson is what Rodgers did before he had the chance to start in the SuperBowl. In a world of professional sports when many spoiled athletes would have been insulted to be drafted 24th when some thought he'd be 1st, when many would have refused to spend two or three years as a back-up when they were as good as he was, and when many would have asked to be traded, or not shown up to training camp because he wasn't getting the "credit" he deserved, Rodgers stayed. He worked. He studied. He prepared. He didn't say, "why me?". He didn't complain that he wasn't getting his due. He just went to work, did his best, committed to constant improvement and waited for his chance. And when it showed up, he stepped up. Big!

So what are you doing to prepare? Are you in a job you don't love? Is there a promotion you think you deserve? Are you being over-looked, under paid and under valued? Don't waste time complaining and sulking and wishing things were different. Prepare. Study. Learn. Get better. And wait for your opportunity to come. Then, when it does, you'll be ready. And just like Rodgers, you'll step up and show people what you can really do.

Accountability Matters

There seems to be a concept gaining popularity that essentially states we are not responsible for our lives. We are not responsible for our actions, we aren’t responsible for our results and we aren’t responsible for each other.

This space is not big enough to enter into the speculation on where this idea has come from, and frankly, I’m not sure that it matters. What I want to address is how you, as a person who wants to be successful and contribute to the world, has to do to avoid failing victim this type of thinking.

Among youth, I see this trend manifesting in everything from grades, to money, to how they treat each other. While MOST young people are hard working, kind and generous people, there are SOME who walk around with an attitude of entitlement. They seem to think that the world owes them something. They think they DESERVE the iPod, the new car, the trendy clothes and whatever else their heart desires. There seems to be little notion, among this group, that these things come as a result of hard work and are not handed out to anyone who decides they want it.

Adults too, are falling prey to this flawed thinking and the results are serious. As much as we’d all like to blame the global credit crisis on irresponsible big banks, each of us is as much to blame. If we were better prepared to handle changes, it wouldn’t have been the issue it has been. Instead, because people think they DESERVE to have everything they want, they have mortgaged themselves into oblivion, maxed out credit cards, and continued to spend without any regard for what would happen if anything went wrong.

What’s my point? All of these issues should be teaching us a very important lesson about the importance of accountability. One of the universal laws of life is that in one way or another, eventually, we will all be held accountable for how we behave. If we commit crimes, we’ll go to jail, if we overspend, we’ll have financial trouble, if we don’t pay the mortgage, we lose or house. There are consequences for actions. Yet many still try to live in make-believe world where there aren’t.

But what if Instead of living in fear of the negative consequences of bad decisions, we started to live with a focus on the positive consequences of good choices? What if instead of not opening bills in the hopes that maybe they’ll go away, and then having to dig out of a deep hole, we were proactive in managing our money and looked forward to the positive consequence of being debt free? What if instead of dreading the fact that we’re getting fatter (more than 50% of North Americans are now obese) and then stick our heads in the ground and continue to stuff our faces, we made a plan to eat better, move more, and looked forward to the positive consequence of slimming down and being in better health?

So why aren’t we more accountable? Surely most of us WANT to live well, do the right thing, make good decisions and be responsible. So why don’t we; because we don’t make ourselves accountable. It is all too easy in today’s world to avoid consequences. Yes they will catch up with us eventually, but we can evade them for a long time, sometimes years. Witness the thousands of 55-75 year old people still working. Not because they want to, but because they have failed to properly prepare for retirement and have now discovered that they simply can’t afford to. They weren’t held accountable for how they were spending and not saving, until it was too late.

In many cases school works the same way. Students fail to do the work and study necessary to learn what they need to learn, but our school system advances them through the grade levels anyway. Students get the message that there no real consequence for not working because hey, I’ll go to grade 11 next year anyway. And then we wonder why they don’t get it when a few years later, they realize that they can’t operate that way in the workplace.

So what can you and I do to deal with the chronic lack of accountability in our world? Probably not much. But we CAN make ourselves accountable. We can realize that if we ensure that we make ourselves accountable for our actions and our results, that we will end up more successful, happier, fulfilled people. How do we do that?

There are a few ways that you can create accountability in your life. Here are my favourites:

1) Get a Coach: Most people think coaches are only for athletes, or maybe people in the depths of crisis. Nothing could be further from the truth. Most of the successful people I know get coaching in some form or another. They realize that a coach can help them by seeing things they cannot see, giving an unbiased opinion on issues, and most importantly by keeping them accountable to themselves. A coach is a great way to be sure that you execute on the goals you set. Learn more about coaching at: (http://www.MarkBlackSpeaks.com/coaching)

2) Create a Mastermind Group – Gather a few colleagues, friends or ideally people who are even a little further ahead on your path than you are, and get together to talk. Meet once a month or maybe more frequently and keep each other posted on your progress. Share you goals and objectives and keep each other ACCOUNTABLE to working on them.

3) Find an Accountability Partner – Find a colleague or friend who you trust, respect and can count on. Set meeting once a month or every two weeks. Share your goals and plans and the actions you plan to take to accomplish them. When you meet each week, ask each other if you have done what you said you would do.

Whatever you can do to hold yourself accountable to yourself is valuable. When you become truly accountable for your actions and your results, your results will improve.

You've Got to be Tough

Throughout my life, my parents blessed me with many life lessons. They taught me the skills I would need to succeed and be a good person. The one that really stands out to be though is toughness. I have been, my whole life, the smallest in the class and the shortest among my peers.

From birth we knew I would not be the big guy in any group. So when I talk about "toughness" it wasn't of a physical kind. Being tough physically was never something I had. For most of my life I was dealing with illness in various degrees of severity, and being physically strong was never a priority, or even a possibility. Thanks to a life-saving transplant, it is now, but still, physical toughness will only get you so far in life. What separates those who succeed from the rest, is inner strength.

By no means do I hold myself up to be the perfect example of this trait. I'm a pretty tough guy in many ways, but I have many moments of weakness as well. I've learned too that it's often in those moments of weakness that I learn the most:) But I have been able to achieve some things that I credit mostly to an ability to block out pain and discomfort, and pursue the goal with single-minded determination. To me, that's what being tough is all about.

Here's a discouraging, but true fact, the world does not want you to succeed; at least not to your maximum potential. Was that too harsh? Sorry, but it's true. The world works on averages. It wants us all to fall into our allotted spot on the curve and be "normal". So if you decide that you want to be exceptional, you will most certainly meet with some resistance.

Now most of us don't recognize this resistance for what it is because it doesn't come in literal form most of the time. You probably won't have people literally tell you that you can't do something or that you have no business doing what you want to do, but that doesn't mean you won't receive those messages. Human beings have all kinds of ways of keeping each other down. It's our way of making ourselves feel more comfortable about what we have, or haven't achieved in our lives. Your job, is to be tougher than the resistance. If you want to become all that you were meant to be, you can't allow external forces, especially negative ones, shape your performance.

So how do you become tougher?
1. Articulate your personal truths and stick to them - Many people float through life without ever articulating what they believe, what they stand for, what matters most to them and what they want to achieve. When you do this you leave your destination entirely to chance. Know what you stand for and don't let anyone get in the way of that.

2. Make a Decision - I tell all the people I speak to who want to try a marathon the same thing; running a marathon is just putting one foot in front of the other until you get to the finish line. All you have to do is decide not to quit until you finish. Sound simple? It is. And it's a key to success. If you commit to yourself that you won't stop until you realize your goals, then you stand a MUCH higher chance of achieving them.

3. Find Your Why - Many people can't tell you why they do what they do. That's sad, and counterproductive. To succeed at the highest level you have to to have a "why". You need to know exactly why you do what you do. What is your motive? Is it a strong one? If you go to work just to make money and pay bills, you'll never be as successful and valuable as the employee who goes to work because they want to make a difference, because they genuinely care about their customer, or because they see it as they calling. Find your why, and suddenly being tough won't be so... well... tough:)

If you Believe It You can Achieve It

There are few universal truths in life but this is one of them. I firmly believe that there is nothing that you can’t achieve if you completely believe that you can do it. What is equally true, and evident in the lives of far too many people is, “If you can’t believe it, you won’t achieve it.” In other words, it has to be true in your mind and your heart before it can come true in your life.

Belief is a powerful thing. It is much different from hoping, dreaming or wishing. Believing you can do something means that you know you can do it. You may not know how you’re going to do it, or when, but you know in your heart that you can make it happen. What do you believe you are capable of?

When I was first listed for my transplant, I had a meeting with the head of the transplant team. During the meeting he explained how the transplant process worked. He made sure that I fully understood all of the risks involved in the surgery. He said that if everything went as it should, that I should be able to go back to work part-time someday. That was his ultimate goal for me.

If I had suggested that not only would I return to work, but that I would start my own business as a speaker, travel all over North America helping people realize their potential, I’d write a book, and that I’d run three marathons, he would never have believed me. I shudder to think today where I would be in my life if I had lived within the confines of my doctor’s expectations. I know they were only trying to prepare me for every possibility; but if I had not decided that I was going to expect more from myself than they did, I would never have achieved half of what I have. Expect more from yourself than anyone else does.

If you have people in your life who impose limiting expectations on you, you must have the courage to politely listen, and then ignore them. It doesn’t mean you have to shut these people out of your life, just don’t let them impose their limiting attitude on you.

So many of us will never achieve half of what we could because deep down, we don’t really believe that our goals are attainable or that we’re worthy of the great things in life. We’ve bought into the lie that most of us are just ordinary folks who should only do ordinary things, work at ordinary jobs and make ordinary money. There’s nothing wrong with that. But if you want more, and you believe that you can do more, there is nothing to stop you… except you.

In order to achieve everything you are capable of, you must believe that it is possible and chances are good that, because of the negative messages you’ve received throughout your life from the world around you, you don’t believe you’re capable of much. This week I want to challenge you to reconsider your potential.


Action Item
Consider this week what you believe is possible for you and your life. Take a moment here and write down the goals that you believe in your heart you can achieve:

You will never achieve something that you believe to be impossible but you can certainly achieve something that OTHERS think is impossible. So start focusing on what you want to achieve with the mindset that it is possible.

Get Out of Your Own Way

This week I wanted to write about one of the greatest obstacles you will ever face on the road to success. It’s an obstacle that is especially frightening because it can be so stealthy, you won’t even realize that it’s impeding your progress. That obstacle, is you! Whether your goals are personal or professional, whether you’re working at becoming a better partner or a better golfer, one of the biggest keys to your success is getting out of your own way.

Have you ever been set a goal or yourself, and been ever-so-close to achieving it, only to fall short? Have you ever experienced the frustration that comes from reaching a plateau where you just can’t seem to make any progress in whatever you’re doing? More often than not, the reason for these road blocks is that you’re getting in the way of your own success. Sometimes the best thing you can do to help yourself succeed is to get out of the way and let success happen.

I’m a runner. Everyday, I see the power that we have to help or hinder our personal performance. When someone starts running for the first time, they notice great gains in fitness and speed almost instantly. Within weeks they are able to run farther, faster and with less effort than when they began. This rate of progress continues for different periods of time for different people, but eventually, everyone reaches a plateau. Progress slows down, or almost stops entirely. It can be a very frustrating time, especially for those who are very competitive.

The mistake that many people make when they reach a plateau is that they begin to train harder, farther and faster thinking that more effort will produce better results. However, what often happens is exactly the opposite. Rather than getting stronger and faster, they stagnate or in some cases, their performance gets worse. Why, because these people are getting in the way of their own success.

The same principal applies in all aspects of life. Whether you’re a student studying for a test, a young executive trying to climb the corporate ladder, or an independent business person trying to grow your enterprise, sometimes the best thing you can do, is just get out of the way and let things happen.

Am I saying that hard work isn’t necessary? Absolutely not. Success doesn’t just happen without working at it. You can’t just sit in a chair ad think about your success and expect it to find you. Success requires action. That’s one of the central flaws with “The Secret” that’s gained such great popularity is that it seems to imply that action isn’t necessary (but that’s another article).

While action is necessary to create your success, too much action can be as detrimental as no action at all. It can be tempting to get in the drawn in by the idea that we should always be doing something to create our success. With that attitude we can begin to feel like if we aren’t doing something all the time, we’re failing, but sometimes the best thing you can do to succeed, is to not do a thing.

How Bad Do You Want It?

How committed are you to your success? How bad do you want what you want?

This past week was a roller coaster ride for me. When the week started I thought that I had booked a spot in a major conference I was hoping to be a part of. Tuesday, I was disappointed to find out that not only did I not get that contract, but I actually lost two others contracts that I thought were almost in the bag. By the end of the day I was in a bad mood and feeling VERY discouraged.

Later in the week I contacted a speaker friend of mine who WAS booked for the event I was hoping to land. After expressing my jealousy that's he'd been booked and I hadn't, I wondered aloud what I was doing wrong or what I wasn't doing, that I should have been. Like a good friend would, he called me out and listed a few things that I could/should be doing to build my business and increase my odds of success, and asked why I hadn't done them yet.

When I explained that I'd avoided these steps because of the expense involved, he challenged me about how committed I really was to my success. I hadn't taken these steps because I didn't want to invest money in something when I didn't have much to invest and couldn't be assured of good ROI. His response was very challenging, "if you don't invest in your business, how can you expect it to grow?"

What an incredibly powerful question and challenge to all of us. We all say that we WANT to be successful. We all SAY that we want to be the best at what we do. But how many of us are willing to do whatever it takes to get there? Most of the time, the difference between those who do well and those who do great in their chosen fields, is that those who do great are willing to do what those who do well, aren't willing to do.

So this week I challenge you to do what your competition and colleagues aren't willing to do. Figure out the one or two things that you could do that your competition can't or are not willing to... then do it!

You may read this and say, great Mark, but tell me what those things are. What are we supposed to do? Truthfully I can't tell you what those things are for you. It's different for all of us. Maybe you need to learn a new skill, hire an employee or consultant to help you, read some new research, change jobs, or even get out of a harmful relationship. I don't know what it is for you. That's your job. But I can tell you this, when you make the commitment to do whatever it takes, success will come. That's a guarantee.

Cooperation. Amazing things happen when we work together.

This past week I had the opportunity to do some professional development training with a colleague. I learned a lot, but the most powerful lesson was the reminder about the power of cooperation. By having someone who knows my field, to bounce ideas off of, I was able to come up with new strategies and outlooks that I could never have created alone.

You've probably heard of a principal called "synergy". Synergy has became a major buzzword a over the last decade or so. In fact it's been used so much that it's probably lost it's meaning for many, but it's a powerful concept that anyone who wants to succeed in business, in school and in life, should understand. Synergy is defined as: 'two or more agents working together to produce a result not obtainable by any of the agents independently'. In other words, in math 2 + 2=4 but in synergy, 2+2 might equal 10.

"Pyramid" or Multi-Level Marketing businesses employ this principal very effectively. Say what you will about these types of businesses, they understand the concept of exponential growth and synergy. They understand that four people working together can accomplish more than double what two people can.

So where could you be employing synergy in your life right now? Who should you call to talk about a project? Make this the week you start to think cooperatively!

Looking Back and Looking Ahead

We're ten days from the end of the year and from the end of the decade. It's hard to believe, but in less than two weeks, another ten years will be gone. I don't know about you, but it seems to me like it was a few days ago we were worrying about Y2K (remember that?) and now we're getting ready to welcome 2010. So as the year comes to a close it's time for taking stock.

Ask most people about New Year's and they'll tell you that it's a time when they set new goals and look ahead to the future. While many people never bother to set goals and make plans, almost everyone engages in the exercise of setting resolutions. While I'm all in favour of setting New Year's Resolutions, this week I want to focus on someone that is most often overlooked but potentially even more important, looking back.

Looking back isn't about regrets and dwelling on our mistakes, it's about taking stock of where we've been as a way to guide us toward where we want to be. The end of a year is a great time to take stock of what you've accomplished over the past 365 days, take a deeper look at the challenges you faced, and most importantly, the lessons you've learned. In this case, we get to look back at a whole decade, so there's lots to be gleaned if we'll just take the time to look. Here is some of my lists:

2000's Accomplishments:

• Told I was going to die, faced the challenge head on without ever giving up hope
• Survived a life-saving Heart-Lung Transplant
• Took myself from zero fitness level to a marathon finish line.
• Ran 3 marathons and 4 half marathons
• Wrote and published my book
• Re-planned my life and discovered a new career path
• Started my own business
• Spoke to 50,000 people in over 100 presentations
• Met and married my wife
• Had our first child Emma
• Bought our first, and then our second house

2000's Challenges:

• Told I may die at 23
• Lived in a hospital bed for 6 months
• Broke up with my first serious girl friend
• Dealt with depression on and off throughout
• Developed anxiety disorder
• Realized I couldn't be a teacher like I'd planned

2000's Lessons Learned:

• You never lose unless you give up
• You can beat anything with enough determination, endurance and optimism
• However bad something may be, there are always lessons to be learned from it
• What doesn't kill you really does make you stronger
• Anything can be accomplished with big vision, self-confidence and dogged determination
• As long as you have family and friends nothing else much matters

I hope you enjoyed my lists, but more importantly, I hope that they encourage you to make your own. In the next ten days, set aside a little time to take inventory of where you've been this past decade. See what you learn. It can be a very helpful tool to take you to the next level in your professional and personal life.

The Courage to Go On

Do you have what it takes to be a success in life? It's a question we all have to answer at one time or another (in fact most of us will have to answer it several times throughout our lives). If you want to be truly successful in your life, your career and your family life, you have to find out if you are actually willing to do what it takes to be a success. Many people want to be successful, but few are willing to do everything it takes to get there. That's what separates those who make it from those who don't. And one of the biggest obstacles to achieving success in any field is your willingness to keep going, to persevere, to refuse to quit, even when things are seemingly hopeless.

There was a particular episode of Grey's Anatomy that I think of when I think of courage. If you're not a fan, the show centres around the lives of doctors and interns at Seattle Grace Hospital. In this episode, a continuation of the finale from the season previous, one of the doctors on the show, a key character, died. The whole episode was about how those around him, his colleagues and those he was closest to, dealt with the loss.

While everyone seemed to deal with the accident that claimed their friend's life quite well initially, grief and anger eventually caught up to them and we watched as they were crushed by pain. It was a powerful show because it reminded me that we all face these incredibly difficult moments in life when it seems like we can't go on. Whether it's the death of a loved one, a diagnoses of illness or loss of a job, we all face moments where we think, "what do I do now?". It is at these moments that successful people behave differently than everybody else. It's not that successful people don't feel pain, hurt and anger; they do. What is different, is that despite those difficult feelings, successful people continue to move forward. They continue to keep going, to work, to love, to pray, to be ALIVE. And eventually, slowly but surely, life begins to feel "normal" again or, as my doctors told me after my transplant, you define a new "normal".

So today I ask you to ask yourself, "Am I willing to do whatever I need to do to realize my goals?" Am I willing to sacrifice, work hard and persevere in order to get where I want to go? And if you are, if you are truly dedicate to your goals and committed to making your dream life a reality, I believe you will. And when you git a "what do I do now?" moment, push through. Put one foot in front of the other. Eventually you'll come out the other side of your problem, stronger, wiser and more prepared to face your next challenge.

Have a great weekend!

What Golf Can Teach us About Life

I'm heading out golfing today. This is unusual for me for a few reasons. Firstly because I only golf about 3 times a year (wish I could golf more, but can't seem to find the time). And secondly I'm playing in a tournament (which I almost never do). The only reason I'm playing is because it's for an awesome cause and I get to play with my three brothers who I never get to spend enough time with.

So I was thinking about today's blog it occurred to me that golf has a lot of parallels with life; lot's to teach us. Here are just a few of my observations. Maybe the hardcore golfers can add more in the comments...

Patience - There is perhaps no greater virtue in life or in golf. There is nothing like shanking a ball (or three) in the woods to get your blood boiling. It never ceases to amaze me that no matter how good or bad you are at golf, there are always frustrating moments in a round of golf. The good golfer, and the one who learns to enjoy the game, is he or she who is patient enough with themselves to move on and hit the next shot.

The same is true in life. We all hit roadblocks, brick walls and detours. There are times in life that can make us want to tear our hair out. Those who are successful in life, and enjoy the ride, are those who are patient with themselves and others and realize that no one's perfect.

Appreciation - Someone once said that "a round of golf is a good walk ruined" but a golfer who really enjoys the game can fun no matter how poorly their round goes. I particularly love the older golfers who have played the game for forty or more years. They often are more excited by the number of balls they find or how quickly they are able to play than what they shoot. They have learned that the experience of being outside and the friendship of their golfing friends is as important a part of the game as the shots they hit.

Life is much the same way I think. Those who are uniquely focused on their goals miss out on a lot of the joys of life. Taking the time to enjoy the little moments along the path like taking in a perfect sunset, reveling in the smile of a child or that perfect cup of coffee on a Saturday morning, enrich the journey so much. Take time to appreciate all that you have.

Striving for Excellence - Much like life, golf is really all about striving for excellence. Striving for that perfect round. I don't really know if anyone ever gets there because, well, you could always have shaved one more shot off your score, and yet still we strive. You can hit fifty bad shots in a row and be ready to give up the game forever and then you hit that one perfect shot. The club hits the ball in that special way, you feel the ball jump off the club and you just know it's pure. That one shot will keep most golfers coming back over and over again.

In life, those who are successful, strive for excellence all the while knowing they'll never be perfect. Some might argue that it's pointless to pursue something that you can't achieve, but others know the truth, it is the pursuit that matters. One need never achieve perfection in anything (if that's even achievable) as long as that is the goal you will be on the right path and ultimately, be successful in what you do.

So that's it for today. I'm off to hit the links. Wish me luck and hope that I and you will have at least one of those "pure shots" today.

Help Others to Help You Succeed

"You can have everything you want in life if you just help enough other people get what they want" - Zig Ziglar

Most people mistakenly believe that the biggest obstacles to their success are external circumstances. What successful people understand is that, while external circumstances can make success more difficult, if you're willing to work hard enough and collaborate effectively, you can succeed in any circumstances.

If you've been watching the news at all in the last year or two, you know it's been impossible to avoid the doom and gloom news about the economy. It's everywhere. Now first let me saw that I don't for a minute want to trivialize the significant impact the economy has had on the lives of many people. The issues created by our struggling economy are real and they create real consequences. However, in situations like this, it can become all too easy to use circumstances as an excuse not to achieve at the levels we should. What successful people realize is that you must take responsibility for your success and commit to realize your potential no matter what. No matter what the circumstances are, there are always companies who succeed. Those who succeed no matter what, are those who understand today's success principal: if you help enough other people succeed, you increase the odds that you'll succeed as well.

So, how can you help other people and how can you make it easier for them to help you? The specifics will depend on your career and what you're trying to achieve, but there are some general principals that apply to everyone. The first of these is that you have to learn to swallow your pride. Too many people think that real success is a D-I-Y project. We love to be independent and self-sufficient. What we have to accept, is that successful people are great collaborators. They know how to allow others to support them and help them succeed. Once we get passed our egos, we still have to learn how to make it easy for others to help us succeed.

Here are a few ways that you can help others to succeed:

• Recommend products and services that you have benefited from - Most companies become a success at least in part, because of the recommendations of their best customers
• Help people connect - If you know two people who may be able to benefit from each others' services, put them in touch with each other. They'll both benefit and they'll both appreciate the effort you made to help them
• Complain if you don't receive the product or service you expect - While no one enjoys listening to complaints, smart companies actually appreciate constructive complaints because it helps them discover weaknesses and improve.
  

Here are just a few of the things you can do to make it easy for others to help you:

• Always carry your business cards (I know this is obvious, but it's also critical)
• Write thank you notes to anyone who helps you with anything
  
• Meet as many people as you can and be sure they know what you do and how you can help them realize their goals
  
• Provide value to others. The more you help others to achieve their goals, the more they'll want to help you to achieve yours.

So go out today and help someone else to succeed. Then do it again tomorrow. Continue until you achieve all of your goals:)

To your success,
Mark

Anxiety and Success

Today's blog is about one of the most prevalent "mood disorders" North American's deal with every day; anxiety. Almost 20% of North Americans over aged 18 are dealing with some type of "Anxiety Disorder" in any given year (US National Institute for Mental Health). That means this is an issue for at least a fifth of us out there and so I wanted to address it. That, and because one of those people is me.

In this blog I am often dishing out advice, suggestions and ideas to help you live your best life. However, I don't think it's fair or honest of me to do that without divulging that I also have issues that I deal with, and unfortunately, anxiety is one of them. The good news, is that I have also found coping skills that allow me to live a normal life and most of the time, I don't have to deal with it at all. However, every once in a while, especially during slow times when I'm not busy or times when significant changes are happening in my life, it rears it head and I'm forced to deal with it.

To anyone who has had feelings of anxiety, you know how debilitating it can be. I'm fortunate that I have never had to deal with the more severe symptoms that some do. Anxiety "disorder" (and I put that in quotation marks because I don't believe it is a disorder - I'll explain why later) can cause everything from a general feeling of uneasiness to heart palpitations, shortness of breath, headaches and paralyzing fear. The good news for any of you out there who may be reading this, or know someone who does, is that there is treatment, and it works.

The foremost treatment for anxiety disorder, as well as depression, is called CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). This form of treatment forces anxious people to challenge and face their fears and realize that no matter how anxious they may feel about them, nothing will actually happen to them. The more they experience this reality, the more the anxiety recedes.

Now, admittedly that is a very simplified explanation of CBT, but it gives you the idea. The reason that I'm posting this blog entry for everyone to read is that I think it has implications for success for all of us. CBT works by forcing us, no matter how much we might not like it, to face our fears. It makes us leave our comfort zone and realize that life continues outside of it. The application for everyone here is that this is the same thing we all need to do to succeed in life.

If you want to live and extraordinary life rather than an ordinary one, you will have to be willing to feel uncomfortable. The reason that extraordinary people are extraordinary is because they aren't like everyone else, and they become that way by doing things and behaving in ways that other people don't. It can be lonely at the top and if you aren't willing to feel a little uncomfortable; a little anxious, then you probably will never go as far as you could in life. CBT teaches us that beating an anxiety disorder, just like realizing significant success in life, means forcing yourself to do what you aren't necessarily comfortable doing. It also shows us that the more we push again that boundry of comfort, the bigger our comfort zone gets.

NOTE: I hope this entry helps everyone who reads it, especially those of you who might be dealing with an anxiety disorder of some kind. Also, if anxiety is something you deal with, I'd also like to recommend an amazing resource for you that has helped hundreds of thousands of people deal effectively with their anxiety, including me. It's called the Linden Method (just Google it to find the site). The resource is about $100 but it's well worth it (please note that I get no commission or bonus for referring this program to you. I just benefited from it myself and want to recommend it to anyone out there who might need it).