With each passing year, I come more and more to realize that the greatest joys in life come from simple pleasures and beautiful moments. It truly is "not the years in our life but the life in our years" that matters.
Last night I enjoyed one of those beautiful moments that makes you grateful to be alive. Unlike most nights when I allow my wife to do the work of putting our two year old daughter Emma, to bed, last night I took over the job. I wasn't particularly excited to do it since yesterday was a tough day for Emma. She's fighting a cold, cutting her molars and in general just not in a good mood. She'd been whiny all night and I didn't exactly relish the thought of putting her to bed. But I'm certainly glad now that I did.
After brushing our teeth (yes I have to brush mine too so that she'll brush hers) we went to pick out a story. Emma picked the Sears catalogue to read (one of her favourites... I know it doesn't make any sense, but it's what she likes). After flipping through the pages for a while and finding the dolls and the toys, we closed it and I was ready to put her in her crib, but instead of doing that, I decided to just hold her in my arms and rock her a bit.
Normally, Emma is very squirmy, even at bed time, and doesn't let you hold her for too long. But last night she allowed her father the chance to hold her in his arms and just rock with her and then I started to sing. Nothing in particular, bits and pieces of different songs as lyrics came into my head. It didn't matter what I sang I knew. She just laid her little head on my shoulder and allowed me that simple, beautiful, moment. And it did take my breath away.
So often we get caught up in the constant struggle to create great moments in our lives. We spend months planning elaborate trips and parties, we schedule every minute of our vacations, and we try to pack in as much as we can. We work hard at our fun sometimes. But often, the greatest joys in life, the moments that take our breath away, are the simplest, and the cheapest. They're the moments that sneak up on us. All we have to do is sit back, let them happen and take them in.
Today I wish you many, many beautiful moments. I encourage you to be open to them and when they happen, to recognize and appreciate them. For they are the true treasures of life.
Showing posts with label Joy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Joy. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Monday, January 04, 2010
Dealing with Post-Holiday Stress
This is a time of the year that can be very stressful for many of us. Vacation is over, and there are no breaks anywhere in sight for the next while. The credit card bills start rolling in after holiday over-spending, and many people can get pretty stressed out. Add to that the short days, darkness and frigid temperatures and this can be a very hard time of the year to deal with. So this blog entry is about how to deal effectively with this stress.
1) Sort out what you're worries are - Sometimes that means writing things down. Make a list of everything that you have on your mind. Then, go through them one by one and examine which you have control over and which you don't. Those you don't; put out of your mind, you can't do anything about them anyway and focussing on them will only cause stress and anxiety. Those you CAN control, set to work on sorting them out or solving them all together (ie: If mounting bills are stressing you out, go through them, find out exactly what you owe and either pay them, or make a plan with a bank on how you'll deal with them). Often just dealing with the issues and knowing you have a plan can make a lot of difference.
2) Focus on Today - Just like I mention in my book (Live Life from the Heart: 52 Weeks to a Life of Passion and Purpose - click here to get your copy), the more you can remain in the present and focus on one day at a time, the easier life gets. Let's face it, there is lots you can control, but even more you can't and the sooner you accept that and strop trying to control those things, the better. Focus on enjoying each day as best you can (not with the idea that you won't have tomorrow, but just because every day is special:)
3) Stay Busy - For me the most effective thing I can do to help my mood and my ability to cope with life's stress is to stay busy. The more I can keep my mind distracted with other things, the better I feel. That held true when I was in hospital and is still true today. When I have too much time on my hands I can get neurotic and begin worrying a lot, but if I stay active and busy, life goes well. I'm not advocating that you ignore reality or anything, but simply that you don't dwell on negative things and instead focus on living life as actively and fully as your health will allow.
4) Exercise - In that same vane, I'm a runner. People often ask me, "why?". Why running? Why is it important to you? and the truth is, I do it because I love it and I want to stay in shape, but most of all, I do it because of how it makes me feel. After a run (even if it's only a few km) I feel more energized, more calm and have a general sense of well-being. I would strongly encourage you to get active. It doesn't have to be running. Walking is great too, so is swimming. Anything that gets your heart rate up for a while is good. It will help your mood, ease stress and also make you stronger physically which, especially when you're fighting disease, is really important.
5) Pray, but Act Too - Faith is a huge part of my life. I couldn't have made it through my health issues without God. Sometimes he provided that little push or support, sometimes he carried me completely. I pray daily and I think it can be a great source of comfort and strength. That said, I also think that God expects us to help ourselves and that he often does his work through us and others. If you don't already, start praying. Trust me, God is waiting to hear from you:). But also don't expect miracles without any work. I want to take nothing away from God and his infinite power to help us and even cure us, but I do think he expects that we'll use the gifts and abilities he's given us to help ourselves as well. So don't sit around waiting for him to work miracles without taking action yourself. At the same time try surrendering as much of your future to him as you can (that's a daily struggle too) but in the end, we know he's in control and he loves us and cares for us more than we can ever understand. He only wants what's best for us and so the more we let him work, the better things will be.
I hope this was helpful to any of our readers dealing with the post-holiday stress common to so many. Remember your life is what you make it. Don't waste time being stressed over things you can't change.
1) Sort out what you're worries are - Sometimes that means writing things down. Make a list of everything that you have on your mind. Then, go through them one by one and examine which you have control over and which you don't. Those you don't; put out of your mind, you can't do anything about them anyway and focussing on them will only cause stress and anxiety. Those you CAN control, set to work on sorting them out or solving them all together (ie: If mounting bills are stressing you out, go through them, find out exactly what you owe and either pay them, or make a plan with a bank on how you'll deal with them). Often just dealing with the issues and knowing you have a plan can make a lot of difference.
2) Focus on Today - Just like I mention in my book (Live Life from the Heart: 52 Weeks to a Life of Passion and Purpose - click here to get your copy), the more you can remain in the present and focus on one day at a time, the easier life gets. Let's face it, there is lots you can control, but even more you can't and the sooner you accept that and strop trying to control those things, the better. Focus on enjoying each day as best you can (not with the idea that you won't have tomorrow, but just because every day is special:)
3) Stay Busy - For me the most effective thing I can do to help my mood and my ability to cope with life's stress is to stay busy. The more I can keep my mind distracted with other things, the better I feel. That held true when I was in hospital and is still true today. When I have too much time on my hands I can get neurotic and begin worrying a lot, but if I stay active and busy, life goes well. I'm not advocating that you ignore reality or anything, but simply that you don't dwell on negative things and instead focus on living life as actively and fully as your health will allow.
4) Exercise - In that same vane, I'm a runner. People often ask me, "why?". Why running? Why is it important to you? and the truth is, I do it because I love it and I want to stay in shape, but most of all, I do it because of how it makes me feel. After a run (even if it's only a few km) I feel more energized, more calm and have a general sense of well-being. I would strongly encourage you to get active. It doesn't have to be running. Walking is great too, so is swimming. Anything that gets your heart rate up for a while is good. It will help your mood, ease stress and also make you stronger physically which, especially when you're fighting disease, is really important.
5) Pray, but Act Too - Faith is a huge part of my life. I couldn't have made it through my health issues without God. Sometimes he provided that little push or support, sometimes he carried me completely. I pray daily and I think it can be a great source of comfort and strength. That said, I also think that God expects us to help ourselves and that he often does his work through us and others. If you don't already, start praying. Trust me, God is waiting to hear from you:). But also don't expect miracles without any work. I want to take nothing away from God and his infinite power to help us and even cure us, but I do think he expects that we'll use the gifts and abilities he's given us to help ourselves as well. So don't sit around waiting for him to work miracles without taking action yourself. At the same time try surrendering as much of your future to him as you can (that's a daily struggle too) but in the end, we know he's in control and he loves us and cares for us more than we can ever understand. He only wants what's best for us and so the more we let him work, the better things will be.
I hope this was helpful to any of our readers dealing with the post-holiday stress common to so many. Remember your life is what you make it. Don't waste time being stressed over things you can't change.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
What Golf Can Teach us About Life
I'm heading out golfing today. This is unusual for me for a few reasons. Firstly because I only golf about 3 times a year (wish I could golf more, but can't seem to find the time). And secondly I'm playing in a tournament (which I almost never do). The only reason I'm playing is because it's for an awesome cause and I get to play with my three brothers who I never get to spend enough time with.
So I was thinking about today's blog it occurred to me that golf has a lot of parallels with life; lot's to teach us. Here are just a few of my observations. Maybe the hardcore golfers can add more in the comments...
Patience - There is perhaps no greater virtue in life or in golf. There is nothing like shanking a ball (or three) in the woods to get your blood boiling. It never ceases to amaze me that no matter how good or bad you are at golf, there are always frustrating moments in a round of golf. The good golfer, and the one who learns to enjoy the game, is he or she who is patient enough with themselves to move on and hit the next shot.
The same is true in life. We all hit roadblocks, brick walls and detours. There are times in life that can make us want to tear our hair out. Those who are successful in life, and enjoy the ride, are those who are patient with themselves and others and realize that no one's perfect.
Appreciation - Someone once said that "a round of golf is a good walk ruined" but a golfer who really enjoys the game can fun no matter how poorly their round goes. I particularly love the older golfers who have played the game for forty or more years. They often are more excited by the number of balls they find or how quickly they are able to play than what they shoot. They have learned that the experience of being outside and the friendship of their golfing friends is as important a part of the game as the shots they hit.
Life is much the same way I think. Those who are uniquely focused on their goals miss out on a lot of the joys of life. Taking the time to enjoy the little moments along the path like taking in a perfect sunset, reveling in the smile of a child or that perfect cup of coffee on a Saturday morning, enrich the journey so much. Take time to appreciate all that you have.
Striving for Excellence - Much like life, golf is really all about striving for excellence. Striving for that perfect round. I don't really know if anyone ever gets there because, well, you could always have shaved one more shot off your score, and yet still we strive. You can hit fifty bad shots in a row and be ready to give up the game forever and then you hit that one perfect shot. The club hits the ball in that special way, you feel the ball jump off the club and you just know it's pure. That one shot will keep most golfers coming back over and over again.
In life, those who are successful, strive for excellence all the while knowing they'll never be perfect. Some might argue that it's pointless to pursue something that you can't achieve, but others know the truth, it is the pursuit that matters. One need never achieve perfection in anything (if that's even achievable) as long as that is the goal you will be on the right path and ultimately, be successful in what you do.
So that's it for today. I'm off to hit the links. Wish me luck and hope that I and you will have at least one of those "pure shots" today.
So I was thinking about today's blog it occurred to me that golf has a lot of parallels with life; lot's to teach us. Here are just a few of my observations. Maybe the hardcore golfers can add more in the comments...
Patience - There is perhaps no greater virtue in life or in golf. There is nothing like shanking a ball (or three) in the woods to get your blood boiling. It never ceases to amaze me that no matter how good or bad you are at golf, there are always frustrating moments in a round of golf. The good golfer, and the one who learns to enjoy the game, is he or she who is patient enough with themselves to move on and hit the next shot.
The same is true in life. We all hit roadblocks, brick walls and detours. There are times in life that can make us want to tear our hair out. Those who are successful in life, and enjoy the ride, are those who are patient with themselves and others and realize that no one's perfect.
Appreciation - Someone once said that "a round of golf is a good walk ruined" but a golfer who really enjoys the game can fun no matter how poorly their round goes. I particularly love the older golfers who have played the game for forty or more years. They often are more excited by the number of balls they find or how quickly they are able to play than what they shoot. They have learned that the experience of being outside and the friendship of their golfing friends is as important a part of the game as the shots they hit.
Life is much the same way I think. Those who are uniquely focused on their goals miss out on a lot of the joys of life. Taking the time to enjoy the little moments along the path like taking in a perfect sunset, reveling in the smile of a child or that perfect cup of coffee on a Saturday morning, enrich the journey so much. Take time to appreciate all that you have.
Striving for Excellence - Much like life, golf is really all about striving for excellence. Striving for that perfect round. I don't really know if anyone ever gets there because, well, you could always have shaved one more shot off your score, and yet still we strive. You can hit fifty bad shots in a row and be ready to give up the game forever and then you hit that one perfect shot. The club hits the ball in that special way, you feel the ball jump off the club and you just know it's pure. That one shot will keep most golfers coming back over and over again.
In life, those who are successful, strive for excellence all the while knowing they'll never be perfect. Some might argue that it's pointless to pursue something that you can't achieve, but others know the truth, it is the pursuit that matters. One need never achieve perfection in anything (if that's even achievable) as long as that is the goal you will be on the right path and ultimately, be successful in what you do.
So that's it for today. I'm off to hit the links. Wish me luck and hope that I and you will have at least one of those "pure shots" today.
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
Sick Baby... What Really Matters
I had to stay home with my 1 1/2yr old daughter Emma today. She was sick. I don't know if there is anything quite so sweet and yet so pitiful as a sick baby. She was not at all herself. Usually a ball of energy and smiles and totally independent, today she was very lethargic and cudly. She wanted her Daddy and blanket and didn't want to do much else. As hard as it was to watch her not feel well, it actually kind of nice to spend quiet time with her, just the two of us.
Today I learned something else about being a parent and was reminded about something else involved in being a human being. Being sick (whether with a minor illness like Emma's ear infection, or something major like cancer) has something to teach us about how to live life. Having a sick child is tough. Much easier if it's only a cold or something temporary, but it's still tough. Why? Because we hate to see our kids in pain, but also because we are left, for the most part, completely powerless. We can't make the illness go away (beyond taking them to the doctor and given them medications). All we can do is keep them company, comfort them and wait. I think that's a great lesson about what should really matter to us in life.
In the end what will really matter to you? When you lay on your death bed at 110, and you look back at your life, what will count to you most? Will it be the number of contracts you landed, the number of sales you made, the amount of money in your bank account or the size of your house? Will it matter what kind of car you drove, how far you climbed the corporate ladder or how many diplomas are on the wall? I doubt it. What will matter most to you will be how close you are to your family. How well did you raise your children? How many great memories do you have? What did you contribute to the world?
Of course we should do our utmost to be great (not just good) employees. Of course you should push yourself to be the best you can be and employ every gift and ability you have been given to make a difference in the lives of those around you. And of course you should exercise your intellect, study hard, achieve all that you can and also take time to ENJOY life. We just need to look at all of these things in proper perspective. Because while these things matter, they don't matter the MOST.
Today my baby girl reminded me how important she is and how much I need to be vigilant about being focused on her and my wife rather than my career. Today I was reminded where the true joy in life lies... in a crib across the hall:)
Today I learned something else about being a parent and was reminded about something else involved in being a human being. Being sick (whether with a minor illness like Emma's ear infection, or something major like cancer) has something to teach us about how to live life. Having a sick child is tough. Much easier if it's only a cold or something temporary, but it's still tough. Why? Because we hate to see our kids in pain, but also because we are left, for the most part, completely powerless. We can't make the illness go away (beyond taking them to the doctor and given them medications). All we can do is keep them company, comfort them and wait. I think that's a great lesson about what should really matter to us in life.
In the end what will really matter to you? When you lay on your death bed at 110, and you look back at your life, what will count to you most? Will it be the number of contracts you landed, the number of sales you made, the amount of money in your bank account or the size of your house? Will it matter what kind of car you drove, how far you climbed the corporate ladder or how many diplomas are on the wall? I doubt it. What will matter most to you will be how close you are to your family. How well did you raise your children? How many great memories do you have? What did you contribute to the world?
Of course we should do our utmost to be great (not just good) employees. Of course you should push yourself to be the best you can be and employ every gift and ability you have been given to make a difference in the lives of those around you. And of course you should exercise your intellect, study hard, achieve all that you can and also take time to ENJOY life. We just need to look at all of these things in proper perspective. Because while these things matter, they don't matter the MOST.
Today my baby girl reminded me how important she is and how much I need to be vigilant about being focused on her and my wife rather than my career. Today I was reminded where the true joy in life lies... in a crib across the hall:)
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Re-Discovering and Joy and Happiness in Your LIfe - PART 2
In my last blog post, I talked about three ways that each of us can re-discover the joy and happiness in our lives that too many people have forgotten. In this post, I'll outline two more ways that we can all be joyful and happy in our lives.
4. Be Happy Where You Are
Most of us tend to think that we could be happy IF this or that happened. If only, we think, I had the right job, the right house, the right spouse, etc.. then I'd be happy. On the surface, this seems logical. Our circumstances seem to be the source of our UN-happiness, so if we could change our circumstances, then we could be happier. Right? Maybe for a little while. But as anyone who has won the lottery or landed their dream job will tell you, even the joy and happiness from significantly positive life circumstances fades rather quickly. In fact, surveys have been done with lottery winners that show their level of happiness returns back to the same level it was at before they won the lottery is a very short period of time.
So, one the major secrets to happiness is to realize that if you aren't happy where you are now, you aren't likely to be able to be happy someone else either. So stop chasing after the next great thing that is going to make you happy and work on learning to be happy where you are. Happiness is not a matter or circumstance, it's a matter of choice.
5. Give it Away
One of the biggest obstacles to authentic happiness is selfishness and self-obsession. When we turn in too much on ourselves it become virtually impossible to find happiness. So if you're in a funk, depressed and otherwise unhappy, instead of focussing on how you can make yourself happier, find a way to bring joy to someone else. Volunteer at a senior's centre, visit an old friend, spend time with your kids doing things they want to do. What I believe you'll discover is that the surest path to authentic happiness and joy and service.
One of my favourite quotes comes from Zig Zigglar, famous motivational speaker, who said, “You can have everything in life that you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.” So go out there and bring joy and happiness to as many other people as you can. Then look in the mirror and watch the smile appear on your face:)
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Re-Discovering JOY and HAPPINESS in Your Life PART 1
"Joy doesn't simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day." Fr. Henri Nouwen
Are you happy? Do you have joy in your life? Are you excited to wake up in the morning? I hope the answer is an emphatic YES. But if not, I hope this article will help.
Let me start by telling you one thing I know for sure; you deserve to be happy. We all do. It's the most basic human rights. I've gone through periods in my life where I've struggled to be happy. I've also had struggles with my worthiness to be happy. Who am I to think that I deserve happiness? Why should I be happy when others are not? Why should I enjoy life when others don't? These were all questions I've struggled to deal with at one time or another. Here are my answers. I hope they help you to realize that you DO deserve happiness and joy, and you can have it, now. Over the next few days we're going to look at some ways that you can re-learn how to be joyful and happy in your life. Here now, are the first three tips. I hope that they help you.
1. Change Your Definition of Happiness: For many in today's consumerist culture, happiness is overly (and sometimes completely) dependent on circumstances. We mistake happiness for pleasure. Happiness means only times when we're celebrating, partying, doing what we want etc. Happiness only comes then if we have everything we want (not need, but want), have lots of money, work we enjoy and can do as we please, we're happy. The problem with this type of happiness is that it is almost completely out of our control. When we leave our happiness up to outside circumstances, we lose our ability to be happy whenever we want to be. We can only be happy when everything is "just right".
So I challenge you to change your definition of what happiness means. To me, happiness comes from: enjoying the gifts in my life (for however long I have them); appreciating beauty all around me (my family, nature, etc); sharing joy with others (bringing a smile to someone else is a great source of happiness to me and you can do it any time); and using my gifts and abilities as best as I can to make a positive contribution to the world.
2. Decide to be Happy - This may sound overly simplistic, and it is. And I will grant you that it isn't always quite this easy. If you are suffering from depression or some other emotional/mental condition, then it will take more than a decision. It may even take help from a professional (and if you feel like you can't ever be happy, I encourage you to get help today). But for those who just feel like they want more authentic, lasting, happiness in their lives, think about this, the only person who can control whether or not you are happy, is YOU.
While the actions of others and our actions in the world have an impact, no one else, not even God, can make us happy without our cooperation. So make a decision today and every day to be happy. It may take work at first, but it can be done.
3. Appreciate the Joys All Around You - Human nature predisposes all of us to take the familiar for granted. It's not our fault, we're wired that way. But that doesn't mean we can't work at better appreciating life's everyday special gifts. Sarah McLachlan wrote a great a song called "Ordinary Miracles" that demonstrates the point beautifully. One of my favourite lyrics is: "The sky knows when it's time to snow, don't need to teach a seed to grow, it's just another ordinary miracle".
Miracles, wonderful things (things that should inspire wonder and awe), happen around us every day. The human heart beats over 35 MILLION times a year. Steadily, perfectly, without fail. It's amazing when you think about it. But most of us don't. That is, until it stops working properly. Sadly, for too many of us, it takes the loss of something before we truly appreciate what we have.
So challenge yourself each day to find something to appreciate. Big, grand things are fine, but look for the special little everyday miracles too. They're all around you.
Conclusion:
So that's it for now. Three quick tips that will hopefully help you re-discover joy and happiness in your life. I hope you'll begin to look at your life in a new way and appreciate more of the "ordinary miracles" in your life today.
Are you happy? Do you have joy in your life? Are you excited to wake up in the morning? I hope the answer is an emphatic YES. But if not, I hope this article will help.
Let me start by telling you one thing I know for sure; you deserve to be happy. We all do. It's the most basic human rights. I've gone through periods in my life where I've struggled to be happy. I've also had struggles with my worthiness to be happy. Who am I to think that I deserve happiness? Why should I be happy when others are not? Why should I enjoy life when others don't? These were all questions I've struggled to deal with at one time or another. Here are my answers. I hope they help you to realize that you DO deserve happiness and joy, and you can have it, now. Over the next few days we're going to look at some ways that you can re-learn how to be joyful and happy in your life. Here now, are the first three tips. I hope that they help you.
1. Change Your Definition of Happiness: For many in today's consumerist culture, happiness is overly (and sometimes completely) dependent on circumstances. We mistake happiness for pleasure. Happiness means only times when we're celebrating, partying, doing what we want etc. Happiness only comes then if we have everything we want (not need, but want), have lots of money, work we enjoy and can do as we please, we're happy. The problem with this type of happiness is that it is almost completely out of our control. When we leave our happiness up to outside circumstances, we lose our ability to be happy whenever we want to be. We can only be happy when everything is "just right".
So I challenge you to change your definition of what happiness means. To me, happiness comes from: enjoying the gifts in my life (for however long I have them); appreciating beauty all around me (my family, nature, etc); sharing joy with others (bringing a smile to someone else is a great source of happiness to me and you can do it any time); and using my gifts and abilities as best as I can to make a positive contribution to the world.
2. Decide to be Happy - This may sound overly simplistic, and it is. And I will grant you that it isn't always quite this easy. If you are suffering from depression or some other emotional/mental condition, then it will take more than a decision. It may even take help from a professional (and if you feel like you can't ever be happy, I encourage you to get help today). But for those who just feel like they want more authentic, lasting, happiness in their lives, think about this, the only person who can control whether or not you are happy, is YOU.
While the actions of others and our actions in the world have an impact, no one else, not even God, can make us happy without our cooperation. So make a decision today and every day to be happy. It may take work at first, but it can be done.
3. Appreciate the Joys All Around You - Human nature predisposes all of us to take the familiar for granted. It's not our fault, we're wired that way. But that doesn't mean we can't work at better appreciating life's everyday special gifts. Sarah McLachlan wrote a great a song called "Ordinary Miracles" that demonstrates the point beautifully. One of my favourite lyrics is: "The sky knows when it's time to snow, don't need to teach a seed to grow, it's just another ordinary miracle".
Miracles, wonderful things (things that should inspire wonder and awe), happen around us every day. The human heart beats over 35 MILLION times a year. Steadily, perfectly, without fail. It's amazing when you think about it. But most of us don't. That is, until it stops working properly. Sadly, for too many of us, it takes the loss of something before we truly appreciate what we have.
So challenge yourself each day to find something to appreciate. Big, grand things are fine, but look for the special little everyday miracles too. They're all around you.
Conclusion:
So that's it for now. Three quick tips that will hopefully help you re-discover joy and happiness in your life. I hope you'll begin to look at your life in a new way and appreciate more of the "ordinary miracles" in your life today.
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