Sick Baby... What Really Matters

I had to stay home with my 1 1/2yr old daughter Emma today. She was sick. I don't know if there is anything quite so sweet and yet so pitiful as a sick baby. She was not at all herself. Usually a ball of energy and smiles and totally independent, today she was very lethargic and cudly. She wanted her Daddy and blanket and didn't want to do much else. As hard as it was to watch her not feel well, it actually kind of nice to spend quiet time with her, just the two of us.

Today I learned something else about being a parent and was reminded about something else involved in being a human being. Being sick (whether with a minor illness like Emma's ear infection, or something major like cancer) has something to teach us about how to live life. Having a sick child is tough. Much easier if it's only a cold or something temporary, but it's still tough. Why? Because we hate to see our kids in pain, but also because we are left, for the most part, completely powerless. We can't make the illness go away (beyond taking them to the doctor and given them medications). All we can do is keep them company, comfort them and wait. I think that's a great lesson about what should really matter to us in life.

In the end what will really matter to you? When you lay on your death bed at 110, and you look back at your life, what will count to you most? Will it be the number of contracts you landed, the number of sales you made, the amount of money in your bank account or the size of your house? Will it matter what kind of car you drove, how far you climbed the corporate ladder or how many diplomas are on the wall? I doubt it. What will matter most to you will be how close you are to your family. How well did you raise your children? How many great memories do you have? What did you contribute to the world?

Of course we should do our utmost to be great (not just good) employees. Of course you should push yourself to be the best you can be and employ every gift and ability you have been given to make a difference in the lives of those around you. And of course you should exercise your intellect, study hard, achieve all that you can and also take time to ENJOY life. We just need to look at all of these things in proper perspective. Because while these things matter, they don't matter the MOST.

Today my baby girl reminded me how important she is and how much I need to be vigilant about being focused on her and my wife rather than my career. Today I was reminded where the true joy in life lies... in a crib across the hall:)

What if Your Life Wasn't Just About You?

Today is the 7th anniversary of my Heart and Double-Lung Transplant. This day is always one of mixed emotions. There is great joy and appreciation for the gift of life and a second chance. There have been so many blessings and beautiful experiences that I've been able to have in the past seven years thanks to that gift.

Along with all of those emotions come this set of questions that I ask myself every so often. Questions like: How am I doing? Am I making good use of the gift I've been given? Is the way I live my life honoring the life lived by my donor?

I suspect I'll never feel 100% sure that I've done a good enough job, but that doesn't change the fact that I think the question is still worth asking. And today I challenge you to ask it of yourself too. In fact, you don't have to be a transplant recipient to gain the perspective that I think we should all look at our lives with; "if you were living for two instead of just for yourself, would you do anything differently? What if your life isn't just about you?"

The more life experience I gain, the more I come to realize that my life isn't just about me. My decisions affect many others; my mood impacts the mood of my family and friends, my decision to give or not to give, of myself, adds or takes away from the lives of others. In short, we're all connected in this world and what you do today, will impact the lives of others tomorrow. In fact, in some cases, an action you take today, could impact THE WORLD a day, a month or even a century later. It isn't a stretch to think that the actions of a little black woman on a bus in Montgomery, Alabama in 1955 played a role in the election of young black man to the highest office in the United States more than 50 years later.

I don't suspect Parks ever dreamed that when she refused to give up her seat to a white passenger, she would spark a movement that would bring another young black minister to the forefront of racial politics and lead to a movement that would eventually create a better life for millions of black Americans, but it did.

So what is your life about? What will your legacy be?

Please don't misunderstand me. Don't feel pressured by these questions or feel like somehow if you aren't transforming history that your life doesn't matter. We ALL matter. I believe a creator willed us all into existence, and that in and of itself, means we all matter A LOT, and grand gestures and world-changing events are not the only ways to make a difference in the world. A child well-raised, a business created, an elderly parent cared for or a charity supported, are all examples of good uses of one's life. One need not be Dr. King or Mother Theresa to make a difference.

So, if your life isn't just about you, what IS it about? I'm no expert. I'm not a philosopher, religious leader or spiritual guru. I don't have the complete answer but I know this: if you do your best each day to make a positive difference in the life of someone else, you can't go wrong!