Well it's the day after the election for us Canadians today and whether you are happy with the results or not, no one can deny it was one of the most interesting elections in a long time. Contrary to what many thought (myself included) a few weeks ago, the results of the election left us with a MUCH different political picture than we had before. Now the question is, where do we go from here as a country and a government?
The next six months will be a great test for Mr. Harper and his government. Will they live up to the promises they've made? Will they do what they said they would do? Will they take responsibility? Only time will tell. I sure hope so.
The same test applies to our next official opposition party the NDP. One of the criticisms of the NDP and Mr. Layton that I've heard again and again was that they could make any promises they wanted to because we all knew they'd never have to live up to them because they were a "3rd place party". Well that has changed. While they aren't the governing party, they do have SOME power now and it will be interesting to see if they will hold true to what they've stood for in during the campaign. Both parties have will have to step up the plate and take responsibility for the promises they have made over the last five weeks if they expect to maintain voter respect and confidence. But the politicians aren't the only ones who will have to take responsibility...
Now it is time for every citizen of voting age to take responsibility for his or her choices yesterday as well. Typically, the week after an election is the time when people like to gripe and complain about the results. No matter what the results, it seems there are always some who can find a reason to complain. My challenge to everyone; take responsibility for your choices and actions yesterday. But, what does that mean?
1. If you didn't vote, don't complain. Far too many think of voting as a right rather than a privilege. People are dying all over the world fighting for the opportunity to vote. We should never take that right for granted. But if you didn't take the time to vote yesterday then, in my mind, you don't really have a right to complain about the results.
2. If you voted for the winning party, congratulations. Now your job is to hold your representatives' feet to the fire. Make sure that they follow through on what they said they would do.
3. If you voted for one of the parties who did not win, you still have role to play. Mourn for a day or two if you must, but then get involved in the process. If your party needs help to attract more voters, share it's platform etc. help them out. Be a part of the process. You can't criticize your party's failure to win if you did nothing to help them.
Let's all step up and realize that no matter who is "in power" in this country, as long as we are a democracy (and thank God that we are) as citizens we all have the right, and the responsibility, to make sure that our representatives actually represent our interests and concerns.
Showing posts with label Motivational Speaker. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Motivational Speaker. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 03, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
The Power of a Mentor
Do you have a mentor? A coach? Who do you have helping guide you on the path to success?
For far too many people, the answers to those questions are "No", "No" and "Nobody". And that's too bad. Unfortunately, far too many people never get any help at all on their journey to success. They think they are supposed to have all of the answers. They assume that once we get to a certain age we're supposed to have life all figured out so there should be no need for guidance from someone else. What those who are most successful understand, is that nothing could be further from the truth.
What do Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky and Tiger Woods all have in common? Firstly they are all arguably the greatest athletes to ever play their respective sports. Secondly, they all had trusted coaches. Many make the mistake of assuming that people like these would have no need for a coach. After all, if you are the best to ever play your sport, obviously a coach, no matter how good, can't be better at the sport than you are, so what can you possibly learn from him or her?
That's exactly the wrong approach. What a coach can do better than anyone, is see what you can't see. They can spot where you are falling down, where you are weak and what you can do to improve. Because they are removed from the situation and have a view that you don't, they can help you spot small issues and tell you how to make a change that can make a dramatic difference.
The other thing that a trusted coach or advisor can provide, is an accountability partner. Someone who will hold you to what you say you are going to do. That is critical because one of the biggest reasons people don't achieve their goals and dreams, is not because they don't know what to do or how to do it, it's that they just don't do it. The intend to, but they don't. If you have coach or advisor who can check in with you and say "hey did you do what you said you were going to do last week?" it forces you to be accountable and take action. When we take ACTION we can really start to improve our lives.
So find a coach. Get an advisor. Find an accountability partner. It can be someone you hire, but it doesn't have to be. Find someone who you respect and admire who has achieved some of the things you want to achieve and see if they would be willing to guide you. After a few months working with a mentor or coach, you will begin to see dramatic changes in your life.
For far too many people, the answers to those questions are "No", "No" and "Nobody". And that's too bad. Unfortunately, far too many people never get any help at all on their journey to success. They think they are supposed to have all of the answers. They assume that once we get to a certain age we're supposed to have life all figured out so there should be no need for guidance from someone else. What those who are most successful understand, is that nothing could be further from the truth.
What do Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky and Tiger Woods all have in common? Firstly they are all arguably the greatest athletes to ever play their respective sports. Secondly, they all had trusted coaches. Many make the mistake of assuming that people like these would have no need for a coach. After all, if you are the best to ever play your sport, obviously a coach, no matter how good, can't be better at the sport than you are, so what can you possibly learn from him or her?
That's exactly the wrong approach. What a coach can do better than anyone, is see what you can't see. They can spot where you are falling down, where you are weak and what you can do to improve. Because they are removed from the situation and have a view that you don't, they can help you spot small issues and tell you how to make a change that can make a dramatic difference.
The other thing that a trusted coach or advisor can provide, is an accountability partner. Someone who will hold you to what you say you are going to do. That is critical because one of the biggest reasons people don't achieve their goals and dreams, is not because they don't know what to do or how to do it, it's that they just don't do it. The intend to, but they don't. If you have coach or advisor who can check in with you and say "hey did you do what you said you were going to do last week?" it forces you to be accountable and take action. When we take ACTION we can really start to improve our lives.
So find a coach. Get an advisor. Find an accountability partner. It can be someone you hire, but it doesn't have to be. Find someone who you respect and admire who has achieved some of the things you want to achieve and see if they would be willing to guide you. After a few months working with a mentor or coach, you will begin to see dramatic changes in your life.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Feeling Adventurous?
Right now my wife and I are watching the season premier of "The Amazing Race" in my opinion, one of the few 'reality tv' shows worth watching. The Amazing Race teaches lessons about many life lessons including the need for teamwork, the joys of having fun, and the importance of effective communication, but the most powerful lesson I think you can learn, is the role that adventure needs to play in a successful and fulfilling life.
In the Amazing Race (for those who haven't seen the show) contestants travel to numerous countries around the world while completing various tasks as fast as they can. One of the best parts of the event is that fact that no one ever knows where they are going next. They don't know what the next day will bring, what challenges they'll face, where they'll be going, or who you will encounter. A great metaphor for life.
Far too many people live, as Thoreau once wrote, "lives of quiet desperation". Every day is like the day before. They do the same things, meet the same people, have the same conversations, over and over again. Life and the world are both too amazing to live that way.
This week I challenge you to live your life and work your jobs/businesses with a little more adventure. Take a trip to somewhere you've never been (it doesn't have to be around the world, it could be to a restaurant in your hometown you've never been t0) the point is to experience something new. Make social plans with someone from work you've never socialized with. Experience something you've never experiences before. It will enrich your life and create memories you'll be able to cherish. Hopefully it will also give you a taste of how awesome new adventures can be and encourage you to do it again.
Go out there and live the adventure!
In the Amazing Race (for those who haven't seen the show) contestants travel to numerous countries around the world while completing various tasks as fast as they can. One of the best parts of the event is that fact that no one ever knows where they are going next. They don't know what the next day will bring, what challenges they'll face, where they'll be going, or who you will encounter. A great metaphor for life.
Far too many people live, as Thoreau once wrote, "lives of quiet desperation". Every day is like the day before. They do the same things, meet the same people, have the same conversations, over and over again. Life and the world are both too amazing to live that way.
This week I challenge you to live your life and work your jobs/businesses with a little more adventure. Take a trip to somewhere you've never been (it doesn't have to be around the world, it could be to a restaurant in your hometown you've never been t0) the point is to experience something new. Make social plans with someone from work you've never socialized with. Experience something you've never experiences before. It will enrich your life and create memories you'll be able to cherish. Hopefully it will also give you a taste of how awesome new adventures can be and encourage you to do it again.
Go out there and live the adventure!
Monday, January 10, 2011
Are you at your limit?
Limitations, or more accurately, perceived limitations, play a large role in our ability to realize our potential and achieve our goals. As a starting point to learn about how perceived limitations affect our lives, I'd ask you to consider this questions, "what would you do if you couldn't fail?" Seriously think about that for a minute...
Do you have a long list of things flooding your brain? Is there a litany of things that you haven't done that you'd like to do but haven't because you had some "good reason" why you couldn't? It is exactly in these things that you will find the sneaky power of limitations affecting you. Chances are good that whatever you have written off as "impractical", "impossible" or "unlikely" are only thus because you have decided they are. Today I want to encourage you to reconsider.
Now I don't want to be seen as getting carried away here. I will grant you that there are limitations. We all live in a physical world that physical world does have some limitations. And as physical beings we also have some physical limitations (not that most of us will come close to reaching them). The problem is not that some limitations exist, but rather that most of us never test them. Knowing we have limits, some of us make the choice to live lives steering far clear of those limits. We choose to use those limits as excuses not to push ourselves.
For example, what do you think you are worth? What salary are you making today? What is the maximum salary you can envision yourself making? Chances are good it's within 100% of what you make now. So if you make $40,000 you might be able to see yourself making $80,000-$100,000 one day, but you'd have a hard time imagining yourself making $300,000. Why is that a problem? Because you are placing artificial limits on yourself that need not hold you back.
The point isn't about money. You can be perfectly happy on $40,000, some are happy on much less and some are miserable with much more. I'm not meaning to imply that money is the key to happiness, but just that our mental perceptions have the power to hold us back from becoming all that we can be. Case in point, Ted Williams, the homeless man from Ohio who last week was living on the street, but since being 'discovered' for his great voice, has already recorded a commercial and appeared on the Today show (http://www.allvoices.com/contributed-news/7808698-homelessness-to-fame-for-ted-williams-nbc-2nd-chance-as-announcer-and-then-i-can-tell-you-what-the-kids-are-doing).
Granted most of us will not have such a dramatic transformation of our life circumstances, but the ARE possible, if you believe they are. Probably the most powerful example of expectations shaping reality for me comes from the world of running (no surprise for those who have been reading my blog and newsletters for a while).
You may be familiar with the story of Roger Banister. If you aren't, Roger Banister was the first man to run a mile in under 4minutes. Until he did it, hundreds had tried and failed. The record had stood for years and some scientists had even released research declaring it "physically impossible" for a human being to run a mile in under 4min. It just couldn't be done... until Roger Banister did it. What's more amazing than Banister's feat, which is an accomplishment in it's own right, is that AFTER Banister broke the 4min mile mark, more than 5 people went even faster in the next 10 years and MANY others also broke the 4min mark.
But that was impossible wasn't it? Of course not. It was perceived to be impossible. Like going to the moon, splitting the atom, and any other "impossible" thing that we as human beings have done, it was only impossible until we could make our mind see that it wasn't. Once the mind could get there, we weren't long behind.
So take a look this week at what is limiting you. Chances are good that it isn't really a limitation, just a perceived limitation. If you can get your mind around the idea that you can do it, than you can. Make 2011 the year you do something you used to think was impossible.
Do you have a long list of things flooding your brain? Is there a litany of things that you haven't done that you'd like to do but haven't because you had some "good reason" why you couldn't? It is exactly in these things that you will find the sneaky power of limitations affecting you. Chances are good that whatever you have written off as "impractical", "impossible" or "unlikely" are only thus because you have decided they are. Today I want to encourage you to reconsider.
Now I don't want to be seen as getting carried away here. I will grant you that there are limitations. We all live in a physical world that physical world does have some limitations. And as physical beings we also have some physical limitations (not that most of us will come close to reaching them). The problem is not that some limitations exist, but rather that most of us never test them. Knowing we have limits, some of us make the choice to live lives steering far clear of those limits. We choose to use those limits as excuses not to push ourselves.
For example, what do you think you are worth? What salary are you making today? What is the maximum salary you can envision yourself making? Chances are good it's within 100% of what you make now. So if you make $40,000 you might be able to see yourself making $80,000-$100,000 one day, but you'd have a hard time imagining yourself making $300,000. Why is that a problem? Because you are placing artificial limits on yourself that need not hold you back.
The point isn't about money. You can be perfectly happy on $40,000, some are happy on much less and some are miserable with much more. I'm not meaning to imply that money is the key to happiness, but just that our mental perceptions have the power to hold us back from becoming all that we can be. Case in point, Ted Williams, the homeless man from Ohio who last week was living on the street, but since being 'discovered' for his great voice, has already recorded a commercial and appeared on the Today show (http://www.allvoices.com/contributed-news/7808698-homelessness-to-fame-for-ted-williams-nbc-2nd-chance-as-announcer-and-then-i-can-tell-you-what-the-kids-are-doing).
Granted most of us will not have such a dramatic transformation of our life circumstances, but the ARE possible, if you believe they are. Probably the most powerful example of expectations shaping reality for me comes from the world of running (no surprise for those who have been reading my blog and newsletters for a while).
You may be familiar with the story of Roger Banister. If you aren't, Roger Banister was the first man to run a mile in under 4minutes. Until he did it, hundreds had tried and failed. The record had stood for years and some scientists had even released research declaring it "physically impossible" for a human being to run a mile in under 4min. It just couldn't be done... until Roger Banister did it. What's more amazing than Banister's feat, which is an accomplishment in it's own right, is that AFTER Banister broke the 4min mile mark, more than 5 people went even faster in the next 10 years and MANY others also broke the 4min mark.
But that was impossible wasn't it? Of course not. It was perceived to be impossible. Like going to the moon, splitting the atom, and any other "impossible" thing that we as human beings have done, it was only impossible until we could make our mind see that it wasn't. Once the mind could get there, we weren't long behind.
So take a look this week at what is limiting you. Chances are good that it isn't really a limitation, just a perceived limitation. If you can get your mind around the idea that you can do it, than you can. Make 2011 the year you do something you used to think was impossible.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
The Gift of Giving
During the past two weeks our city has engaged in what has become a holiday tradition, The Sue Stultz Turkey Drive. Each year our city rallies around a local hero, and recently elected MLA, to gather turkeys in order to provide a Christmas dinner to families who might not otherwise be able to afford it.
This year's drive had an ambitious goal for a city of 100,000 people. They wanted to collect 3612 turkeys in order to provide one for each registered family who needed one. So when the news report came on the air on Thursday (one day before the end of the drive) saying that they were still more than 1500 turkeys shy of the goal, I was disappointed but not surprised. What happened next however, blew me away... by the end of the next day, our little city not only reached the goal, they surpassed it. The grand total; 5255! In less than 24hrs, the people of my home town donated nearly 3000 turkeys!
I was pretty proud to be from Moncton this week, but hearing that news also made me ask a question; why? What is it that causes people to hear about an opportunity to give and then actually take action and do it? What causes people to take the time to go out, buy a turkey, and deliver it so that someone they don't know can have Christmas dinner? It's the same thing that makes someone volunteer in the Peace Corps, or travel to Haiti to help quake victims. The gift of giving.
If you've never experienced the gift of giving, you're missing out on one of the most joyful and meaningful experiences a human being can have. The feeling of knowing that you've made a difference in the life of someone else is the greatest emotion one can experience. Far beyond the fun of going to a great concert or buying some new gadget or outfit you want, the experience of giving to someone else goes to the core of your soul, and lasts a lot longer than emotions experienced when we "get"; it truly is better to give than to receive.
So as the busy holiday season gets into full gear and you rush around doing your last minute shopping and scratching people off your gift list, take a few minutes to appreciate the opportunity you're being given. The opportunity to make a difference. And don't forget all those who aren't on your list but still need you. Support a local charity, buy someone on the street a cup of coffee, donate a turkey:) Do something for someone else just because. Whatever you give you'll receive a gift better than anything that can be put under a tree; the gift of giving.
This year's drive had an ambitious goal for a city of 100,000 people. They wanted to collect 3612 turkeys in order to provide one for each registered family who needed one. So when the news report came on the air on Thursday (one day before the end of the drive) saying that they were still more than 1500 turkeys shy of the goal, I was disappointed but not surprised. What happened next however, blew me away... by the end of the next day, our little city not only reached the goal, they surpassed it. The grand total; 5255! In less than 24hrs, the people of my home town donated nearly 3000 turkeys!
I was pretty proud to be from Moncton this week, but hearing that news also made me ask a question; why? What is it that causes people to hear about an opportunity to give and then actually take action and do it? What causes people to take the time to go out, buy a turkey, and deliver it so that someone they don't know can have Christmas dinner? It's the same thing that makes someone volunteer in the Peace Corps, or travel to Haiti to help quake victims. The gift of giving.
If you've never experienced the gift of giving, you're missing out on one of the most joyful and meaningful experiences a human being can have. The feeling of knowing that you've made a difference in the life of someone else is the greatest emotion one can experience. Far beyond the fun of going to a great concert or buying some new gadget or outfit you want, the experience of giving to someone else goes to the core of your soul, and lasts a lot longer than emotions experienced when we "get"; it truly is better to give than to receive.
So as the busy holiday season gets into full gear and you rush around doing your last minute shopping and scratching people off your gift list, take a few minutes to appreciate the opportunity you're being given. The opportunity to make a difference. And don't forget all those who aren't on your list but still need you. Support a local charity, buy someone on the street a cup of coffee, donate a turkey:) Do something for someone else just because. Whatever you give you'll receive a gift better than anything that can be put under a tree; the gift of giving.
Monday, November 01, 2010
If you Believe It You can Achieve It
There are few universal truths in life but this is one of them. I firmly believe that there is nothing that you can’t achieve if you completely believe that you can do it. What is equally true, and evident in the lives of far too many people is, “If you can’t believe it, you won’t achieve it.” In other words, it has to be true in your mind and your heart before it can come true in your life.
Belief is a powerful thing. It is much different from hoping, dreaming or wishing. Believing you can do something means that you know you can do it. You may not know how you’re going to do it, or when, but you know in your heart that you can make it happen. What do you believe you are capable of?
When I was first listed for my transplant, I had a meeting with the head of the transplant team. During the meeting he explained how the transplant process worked. He made sure that I fully understood all of the risks involved in the surgery. He said that if everything went as it should, that I should be able to go back to work part-time someday. That was his ultimate goal for me.
If I had suggested that not only would I return to work, but that I would start my own business as a speaker, travel all over North America helping people realize their potential, I’d write a book, and that I’d run three marathons, he would never have believed me. I shudder to think today where I would be in my life if I had lived within the confines of my doctor’s expectations. I know they were only trying to prepare me for every possibility; but if I had not decided that I was going to expect more from myself than they did, I would never have achieved half of what I have. Expect more from yourself than anyone else does.
If you have people in your life who impose limiting expectations on you, you must have the courage to politely listen, and then ignore them. It doesn’t mean you have to shut these people out of your life, just don’t let them impose their limiting attitude on you.
So many of us will never achieve half of what we could because deep down, we don’t really believe that our goals are attainable or that we’re worthy of the great things in life. We’ve bought into the lie that most of us are just ordinary folks who should only do ordinary things, work at ordinary jobs and make ordinary money. There’s nothing wrong with that. But if you want more, and you believe that you can do more, there is nothing to stop you… except you.
In order to achieve everything you are capable of, you must believe that it is possible and chances are good that, because of the negative messages you’ve received throughout your life from the world around you, you don’t believe you’re capable of much. This week I want to challenge you to reconsider your potential.
Action Item
Consider this week what you believe is possible for you and your life. Take a moment here and write down the goals that you believe in your heart you can achieve:
You will never achieve something that you believe to be impossible but you can certainly achieve something that OTHERS think is impossible. So start focusing on what you want to achieve with the mindset that it is possible.
Belief is a powerful thing. It is much different from hoping, dreaming or wishing. Believing you can do something means that you know you can do it. You may not know how you’re going to do it, or when, but you know in your heart that you can make it happen. What do you believe you are capable of?
When I was first listed for my transplant, I had a meeting with the head of the transplant team. During the meeting he explained how the transplant process worked. He made sure that I fully understood all of the risks involved in the surgery. He said that if everything went as it should, that I should be able to go back to work part-time someday. That was his ultimate goal for me.
If I had suggested that not only would I return to work, but that I would start my own business as a speaker, travel all over North America helping people realize their potential, I’d write a book, and that I’d run three marathons, he would never have believed me. I shudder to think today where I would be in my life if I had lived within the confines of my doctor’s expectations. I know they were only trying to prepare me for every possibility; but if I had not decided that I was going to expect more from myself than they did, I would never have achieved half of what I have. Expect more from yourself than anyone else does.
If you have people in your life who impose limiting expectations on you, you must have the courage to politely listen, and then ignore them. It doesn’t mean you have to shut these people out of your life, just don’t let them impose their limiting attitude on you.
So many of us will never achieve half of what we could because deep down, we don’t really believe that our goals are attainable or that we’re worthy of the great things in life. We’ve bought into the lie that most of us are just ordinary folks who should only do ordinary things, work at ordinary jobs and make ordinary money. There’s nothing wrong with that. But if you want more, and you believe that you can do more, there is nothing to stop you… except you.
In order to achieve everything you are capable of, you must believe that it is possible and chances are good that, because of the negative messages you’ve received throughout your life from the world around you, you don’t believe you’re capable of much. This week I want to challenge you to reconsider your potential.
Action Item
Consider this week what you believe is possible for you and your life. Take a moment here and write down the goals that you believe in your heart you can achieve:
You will never achieve something that you believe to be impossible but you can certainly achieve something that OTHERS think is impossible. So start focusing on what you want to achieve with the mindset that it is possible.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Miracles Happen All the Time. Do You Recognize Them?
I couldn't let the evens of this week pass without talking about this subject. On August 7th, 2010, tragedy struck Chili. A mine collapsed with 33 miners underground, trapped and presumed dead.
Despite the dire odds that anyone would have survived, rescue efforts began. On August 22nd, nearly two weeks after the collapse, drills were able to break through and it was discovered that just one, but all 33 of the miners were alive, and all things considered, doing well! Then, finally, on Wednesday, October 13th, more than seventy days after the mine collapsed, the miners were freed!
When I see stories like this one, the only word that comes to mind is "miracle". To me, there is nothing else that explains how all of the minors would survive, and in such good shape (they have all been released from hospital less than a week after being underground for more than two months!).
In my short life I've been privileged to see a few amazing miracles like this one. The "miracle on the Hudson" where a large commuter plane "crash landed" without hurting anyone on board comes to mind. These events can certainly be explained with words other than "miracle". People who don't believe in them, can easily explain how individual skill and training allowed Captain Sully to land that plane, and I'm sure there are geologists and others who give scientific explanations for why the minors were not harmed in the mine collapse. The truth though is that there is no logical explanation for why everyone should have survived in either case. But they did.
So what's the point? Beyond a good news story and impact on the families of those involved, what is the take-away for the rest of us from a story like this? Simply this; miracles can happen and most of the time, it takes us to MAKE them happen! Hope is never completely lost. There is always good that can come from tragedy. But we have to play our part in the process.
Miracles, little ones anyway, happen all the time. Who has seen a child be born can say that they didn't witness a miraculous thing? A hundred years ago, who would have said we would send someone to the moon? It now seems likely that in our lifetime, we may witness the development of a cure for MS. But these things don't just 'happen' they take human beings, who care for each other, doing their best to make a difference.
So if you're struggling in the rough economy, if you have problems with your relationships, if you hate your job, or you feel like your friends aren't there for you, remember, miracles happen; but it's up to us to help them along! So go out and make a little miracle in the life of someone today. GB. Mark
Despite the dire odds that anyone would have survived, rescue efforts began. On August 22nd, nearly two weeks after the collapse, drills were able to break through and it was discovered that just one, but all 33 of the miners were alive, and all things considered, doing well! Then, finally, on Wednesday, October 13th, more than seventy days after the mine collapsed, the miners were freed!
When I see stories like this one, the only word that comes to mind is "miracle". To me, there is nothing else that explains how all of the minors would survive, and in such good shape (they have all been released from hospital less than a week after being underground for more than two months!).
In my short life I've been privileged to see a few amazing miracles like this one. The "miracle on the Hudson" where a large commuter plane "crash landed" without hurting anyone on board comes to mind. These events can certainly be explained with words other than "miracle". People who don't believe in them, can easily explain how individual skill and training allowed Captain Sully to land that plane, and I'm sure there are geologists and others who give scientific explanations for why the minors were not harmed in the mine collapse. The truth though is that there is no logical explanation for why everyone should have survived in either case. But they did.
So what's the point? Beyond a good news story and impact on the families of those involved, what is the take-away for the rest of us from a story like this? Simply this; miracles can happen and most of the time, it takes us to MAKE them happen! Hope is never completely lost. There is always good that can come from tragedy. But we have to play our part in the process.
Miracles, little ones anyway, happen all the time. Who has seen a child be born can say that they didn't witness a miraculous thing? A hundred years ago, who would have said we would send someone to the moon? It now seems likely that in our lifetime, we may witness the development of a cure for MS. But these things don't just 'happen' they take human beings, who care for each other, doing their best to make a difference.
So if you're struggling in the rough economy, if you have problems with your relationships, if you hate your job, or you feel like your friends aren't there for you, remember, miracles happen; but it's up to us to help them along! So go out and make a little miracle in the life of someone today. GB. Mark
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Sacrifice and Discipline
Sacrifice and discipline... two words that make many people want to run. For most people, there is nothing positive about sacrifice or discipline, after all, who wants to give anything up or deny themselves? As human beings we have an innate tendency to seek out pleasure and avoid pain, add to that the fact that we live in a culture that continually tells us we "deserve" everything from SUVs and Big Screen TV's to being thin and having beautiful skin. If you believe what you watch, you could easily be led to believe that the best thing you can do for yourself is satisfy every urge, desire or want you ever have. The fact is, when it comes to being successful in life, nothing could be further from the truth. Your success is dependent, at least in part, to your ability to postpone gratification, or in other words, your willingness to sacrifice and discipline yourself.
As children our parents, if they were good ones, disciplined us when we needed it. Discipline doesn't necessarily mean punishment (although that is what many people associate it with) it really just means that a parent does what they have to do to keep their child(ren) headed on the right path. Sacrifice works much the same way... parents sacrifice many things that they might 'want' to do, in order to achieve a greater good for their child(ren).
As adults, the responsibilities of our parents fall on us. We are called to sacrifice for, and discipline, ourselves. Unfortunately, many people fall into the trap of buying into the messages of pop culture telling them: "you deserve it", "reward yourself", "you're worth it". This entitled ideology destroys the potential of many people. I would suggest that the "entitlement ideology" that is so pervasive in North America is the root cause of the credit card crisis and maybe even the obesity epidemic.
When believe "I deserve it" even when they don't, they spend money they don't have. When people thing they should "reward themselves" even if they haven't done anything to warrant a reward, they eat more than they should. What successful people do that is different, is they think longer term. They realize that there is nothing particularly wrong with thinking "I deserve it" if you've worked really hard and actually do deserve it. They understand that rewarding yourself is fine, if you've done something worthy of being rewarded. But they also understand how to think LONG term. They are able to postpone short-term small gratification in order to get longer term larger gratification.
One of the best examples of this is a now famous Stanford study of children on short-term gratification that has come to be known as the "marshmallow study". Psychologists took a group of 4 year olds and offered them one marshmallow right now, or two marshmallow's if they waited until later. The two groups were then followed for many years...those who were able to postpone gratification and get two marshmallow's later, were found to be far more successful than those who ate one marshmallow right away (read more about the study: http://www.sybervision.com/Discipline/marshmallow.htm)
As someone who has now trained for, and run, several long distance running events, I've learned that it takes a great deal of sacrifice and discipline to train several days a week for months in order to get ready for an event. It means sacrificing some late nights out with friends and it means disciplining myself to get out of bed early in the morning on the weekend to get a run in. However, what I have also learned is that the long-term reward of finishing a marathon, is much more gratifying that the short-term reward of staying in bed or going out for drinks. The same applies to whatever your goals and dreams are. If the goal is big enough, any and all sacrifices will be worth it.
So this week I encourage you to look at whether there are some sacrifices you need to make in order to reach that next level of success. In what areas of your life do you need to be more disciplined?
As children our parents, if they were good ones, disciplined us when we needed it. Discipline doesn't necessarily mean punishment (although that is what many people associate it with) it really just means that a parent does what they have to do to keep their child(ren) headed on the right path. Sacrifice works much the same way... parents sacrifice many things that they might 'want' to do, in order to achieve a greater good for their child(ren).
As adults, the responsibilities of our parents fall on us. We are called to sacrifice for, and discipline, ourselves. Unfortunately, many people fall into the trap of buying into the messages of pop culture telling them: "you deserve it", "reward yourself", "you're worth it". This entitled ideology destroys the potential of many people. I would suggest that the "entitlement ideology" that is so pervasive in North America is the root cause of the credit card crisis and maybe even the obesity epidemic.
When believe "I deserve it" even when they don't, they spend money they don't have. When people thing they should "reward themselves" even if they haven't done anything to warrant a reward, they eat more than they should. What successful people do that is different, is they think longer term. They realize that there is nothing particularly wrong with thinking "I deserve it" if you've worked really hard and actually do deserve it. They understand that rewarding yourself is fine, if you've done something worthy of being rewarded. But they also understand how to think LONG term. They are able to postpone short-term small gratification in order to get longer term larger gratification.
One of the best examples of this is a now famous Stanford study of children on short-term gratification that has come to be known as the "marshmallow study". Psychologists took a group of 4 year olds and offered them one marshmallow right now, or two marshmallow's if they waited until later. The two groups were then followed for many years...those who were able to postpone gratification and get two marshmallow's later, were found to be far more successful than those who ate one marshmallow right away (read more about the study: http://www.sybervision.com/Discipline/marshmallow.htm)
As someone who has now trained for, and run, several long distance running events, I've learned that it takes a great deal of sacrifice and discipline to train several days a week for months in order to get ready for an event. It means sacrificing some late nights out with friends and it means disciplining myself to get out of bed early in the morning on the weekend to get a run in. However, what I have also learned is that the long-term reward of finishing a marathon, is much more gratifying that the short-term reward of staying in bed or going out for drinks. The same applies to whatever your goals and dreams are. If the goal is big enough, any and all sacrifices will be worth it.
So this week I encourage you to look at whether there are some sacrifices you need to make in order to reach that next level of success. In what areas of your life do you need to be more disciplined?
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Remembering What Life is All About
This week I had the privilege to participate in the 5th edition of the Canadian Transplant Games, an olympics-type week of competition where all of the athletes share something very special in common; they have all received an organ and/or tissue transplant.
Like the Olympics and other sporting events like it, all of the athletes at the transplant games have trained hard and are there to compete and do the best they can. Like all games, some won medals, others did not. But what these games have that others don't, is the special connection that every athlete has with one another because of their shared experiences. Everyone who participates in these games knows what it means to be very ill, they have faced death, and they have come out the other side with a new appreciation for life and a desire to make the most of every day they have been given.So while everyone wants to win, they are able to keep winning in it's proper perspective and remember that what is most important is to compete and to celebrate their life and their good health.
What makes the Transplant Games the most special is that in addition to transplant recipients, there are also families of donors who come. They come to see the impact that their gift has made on the lives of others, and they are comforted in the knowledge that they have made a difference to someone. It is always an emotional time when donor families meet recipients and we who have received the gift of life are able to say "Thank You" to those who have given it. To say that these moments are powerful, would be a dramatic understatement. The energy in the air is electric and something that I have never experienced anywhere else.
There are many great things about participating at these games every two years: the friendship and understanding shared among athletes, the fun of competition and the joy of winning, but by far the most valuable thing I take away from these games is the reminder of what really matters. As we go through the week and hear the stories of of survival, courage and healing, we're reminded that what matters more than medals is that we are all alive, able to share these experiences together. And so i challenge you this week to take inventory of your life and think about what really matters to you, and decide if you are living your life in accordance with those values. If so, great. If not, start remembering what Your life is all about.
Like the Olympics and other sporting events like it, all of the athletes at the transplant games have trained hard and are there to compete and do the best they can. Like all games, some won medals, others did not. But what these games have that others don't, is the special connection that every athlete has with one another because of their shared experiences. Everyone who participates in these games knows what it means to be very ill, they have faced death, and they have come out the other side with a new appreciation for life and a desire to make the most of every day they have been given.So while everyone wants to win, they are able to keep winning in it's proper perspective and remember that what is most important is to compete and to celebrate their life and their good health.
What makes the Transplant Games the most special is that in addition to transplant recipients, there are also families of donors who come. They come to see the impact that their gift has made on the lives of others, and they are comforted in the knowledge that they have made a difference to someone. It is always an emotional time when donor families meet recipients and we who have received the gift of life are able to say "Thank You" to those who have given it. To say that these moments are powerful, would be a dramatic understatement. The energy in the air is electric and something that I have never experienced anywhere else.
There are many great things about participating at these games every two years: the friendship and understanding shared among athletes, the fun of competition and the joy of winning, but by far the most valuable thing I take away from these games is the reminder of what really matters. As we go through the week and hear the stories of of survival, courage and healing, we're reminded that what matters more than medals is that we are all alive, able to share these experiences together. And so i challenge you this week to take inventory of your life and think about what really matters to you, and decide if you are living your life in accordance with those values. If so, great. If not, start remembering what Your life is all about.
Sunday, August 01, 2010
Pushing Through to the Next Peak
Yesterday I completed another long run in my training for a marathon in November, 19km, and it as a doozy! A well-known truth distance running is that on any given day you can have a great run or a horrible run. Today was one of those tough ones. I finished it, in a decent time even, but I felt like crap, and many, many, times, I felt like stopping. Why didn't I? 1) Because I have nurtured a desire and an ability to push through pain, discomfort, and fatigue, in order to achieve a goal and 2) I knew it would pass.
Another truth of distance running is that when you start to feel crummy, and you often do, it doesn't mean that you're day is near it's end or that you will necessarily feel that way for the rest of the run. Long distance running, like life, has it's ups and downs. In one day, a runner may experience three or four peaks and valleys. Moments where you feel like you want to stop are followed moments later by feeling like you could run forever. So when they hit a rough patch, experienced runners know that all they need to do is push through it, and a better stretch is sure to follow. The catch is, you actually have to push through the tough stuff and keep running, in order to experience the good run on the other side. What a great metaphor for success in business and in life.
In the Book of Proverbs in the Bible it says, "It is always darkest before the dawn". In other words, our greatest moments often follow our toughest ones. If you are like me and you find this to be incredibly accurate, have you ever thought about why? Have you ever wondered why it is that our greatest achievements, our proudest moments, and our best memories, often come after our worst failures, saddest defeats and worst nightmares? I believe it is because for those who choose to, obstacles can supply an even greater desire to succeed. Those who fail know how it feels, and they don't like it. That feeling is a great motivator to work harder and succeed next time, and it provides the strength and determination you need to push through the inevitably difficult times in life so that you can experience the success that awaits on the other side.
A business that succeeds after going bankrupt, an athlete who wins the gold after falling in the race the year before, the candidate who wins the election after having been defeated four years earlier, know how special their achievements are and able to appreciate them in ways that those who manage to go straight to the top without hitting many bumps, don't. And they are able to experience those successes only because instead of giving up when they encounter discouragement and defeat (as many others would), they push through to the other side.
So are you pushing through? Are you focussed on the peak when you're going through your valley, or do you hit a dip and quit? The choice is yours, and the level of your success will be determined by your choice.
And victory never tastes so sweet as when it comes after a loss
Another truth of distance running is that when you start to feel crummy, and you often do, it doesn't mean that you're day is near it's end or that you will necessarily feel that way for the rest of the run. Long distance running, like life, has it's ups and downs. In one day, a runner may experience three or four peaks and valleys. Moments where you feel like you want to stop are followed moments later by feeling like you could run forever. So when they hit a rough patch, experienced runners know that all they need to do is push through it, and a better stretch is sure to follow. The catch is, you actually have to push through the tough stuff and keep running, in order to experience the good run on the other side. What a great metaphor for success in business and in life.
In the Book of Proverbs in the Bible it says, "It is always darkest before the dawn". In other words, our greatest moments often follow our toughest ones. If you are like me and you find this to be incredibly accurate, have you ever thought about why? Have you ever wondered why it is that our greatest achievements, our proudest moments, and our best memories, often come after our worst failures, saddest defeats and worst nightmares? I believe it is because for those who choose to, obstacles can supply an even greater desire to succeed. Those who fail know how it feels, and they don't like it. That feeling is a great motivator to work harder and succeed next time, and it provides the strength and determination you need to push through the inevitably difficult times in life so that you can experience the success that awaits on the other side.
A business that succeeds after going bankrupt, an athlete who wins the gold after falling in the race the year before, the candidate who wins the election after having been defeated four years earlier, know how special their achievements are and able to appreciate them in ways that those who manage to go straight to the top without hitting many bumps, don't. And they are able to experience those successes only because instead of giving up when they encounter discouragement and defeat (as many others would), they push through to the other side.
So are you pushing through? Are you focussed on the peak when you're going through your valley, or do you hit a dip and quit? The choice is yours, and the level of your success will be determined by your choice.
And victory never tastes so sweet as when it comes after a loss
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Do it Because You Can... And Someday You Won't Be Able To
Today I received a health update about an acquaintance of mine and it inspired me to write this week's article. You see, Linda and I met at the Ottawa Marathon in 2006. She was running the full marathon. Then this past winter, in her early 50's, Linda had a massive stroke. At first we weren't sure she would make it at all. Now nine months later, she's still here, but she is still not able to stand or walk, let alone run. While we're all hopeful, the truth is, she will likely never run again.
Linda's story is sad and one reasonable reaction to it would be to get discouraged, curse the fact that life is so unfair, and decide that there's no point. My reaction was different, and I know it would make Linda proud. I decided to use Linda's experience to help me to remember how lucky I am to be ABLE to do the things that I do, especially running. I use her story to fuel what I call a "GET TO" attitude rather than a "HAVE TO" one.
In distance running, as in life, there are many times when it is easy to feel like our training program is a list of things we have "have to" do. Today I ran 16k and in truth, when I woke up this morning, I wasn't looking forward to doing it. It was a hot morning, the route was full of hills, and it is the longest run I've done in a while. If I'd had a good reason, I'd have skipped it. But I didn't have a good reason and so I went out and did it. But it wasn't until I got back home and checked my email that I realized what a great run I had.
I opened my email to find the update on Linda, and how much she is still struggling to get back to 25% of where she once was, and I realized that I was extremely fortunate to have done what I just did, and that realization changed my whole perspective on not just this run, but my running and my life in general.
How do you approach your daily tasks? How do you feel when you go to work in the morning? What feeling do you have when you set out to do something that maybe isn't your favourite thing to do? What if you looked at it with the story of a person like Linda in mind? The truth is, no matter what you're doing in the run of a day, there is probably someone, somewhere, who would LOVE to have the opportunity to be doing it.
Are you frustrated sitting in traffic? Think of the person who can't afford a car. Are you dreading the hour on the treadmill this afternoon? Think of the person who can't walk. Can't think of anything good to make for supper? Think of the mother who struggles to feed her children. The more we're able to appreciate our ability to do things, the more we're able to enjoy life.
So why run marathons? Because I can. What can you do that you should be doing?
Linda's story is sad and one reasonable reaction to it would be to get discouraged, curse the fact that life is so unfair, and decide that there's no point. My reaction was different, and I know it would make Linda proud. I decided to use Linda's experience to help me to remember how lucky I am to be ABLE to do the things that I do, especially running. I use her story to fuel what I call a "GET TO" attitude rather than a "HAVE TO" one.
In distance running, as in life, there are many times when it is easy to feel like our training program is a list of things we have "have to" do. Today I ran 16k and in truth, when I woke up this morning, I wasn't looking forward to doing it. It was a hot morning, the route was full of hills, and it is the longest run I've done in a while. If I'd had a good reason, I'd have skipped it. But I didn't have a good reason and so I went out and did it. But it wasn't until I got back home and checked my email that I realized what a great run I had.
I opened my email to find the update on Linda, and how much she is still struggling to get back to 25% of where she once was, and I realized that I was extremely fortunate to have done what I just did, and that realization changed my whole perspective on not just this run, but my running and my life in general.
How do you approach your daily tasks? How do you feel when you go to work in the morning? What feeling do you have when you set out to do something that maybe isn't your favourite thing to do? What if you looked at it with the story of a person like Linda in mind? The truth is, no matter what you're doing in the run of a day, there is probably someone, somewhere, who would LOVE to have the opportunity to be doing it.
Are you frustrated sitting in traffic? Think of the person who can't afford a car. Are you dreading the hour on the treadmill this afternoon? Think of the person who can't walk. Can't think of anything good to make for supper? Think of the mother who struggles to feed her children. The more we're able to appreciate our ability to do things, the more we're able to enjoy life.
So why run marathons? Because I can. What can you do that you should be doing?
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Making Tough Decisions
This week I received a major surprise and unwittingly, I was thrust into one of those times in life when you reach a fork in the road and you're forced to make a decision that you know will affect your life from that moment forward - a moment of truth. Either things will continue down road A or you'll choose to go down road B and things will change; maybe for the better or maybe for the worse.
I don't deal with these situations particularly well. I've never been a great decision- maker, in fact I still struggle to decide what to order in a restaurant. Needless to say, when I'm faced with a major life decision, I really have a tough time and so this past week has caused me a great deal of angst.
I spent a day and a half mulling over whether or not to embark on the new road that was presented to me, not knowing where it would lead, or stick to the road I was heading on the day before. It was truly a difficult decision. After all, I'm all about seizing opportunities and taking risks. I believe that you miss out on a lot of life of you aren't willing to do that, but I also believe in the pursuing your goals with intense focus. Choosing the new road, would mean abandoning that focus for a new one.
In the end I realized that what appealed to me about the new opportunity was outweighed by what I would be giving up. What I already have was way too good to leave behind, and that's how I knew that saying "no" to the new opportunity was the right decision. When you're faced with a major decision, how do you cope? What tools and techniques do you employ to know for sure that you're making the best decision you can? Post your answers in the comments. I look forward to hearing from you.
I don't deal with these situations particularly well. I've never been a great decision- maker, in fact I still struggle to decide what to order in a restaurant. Needless to say, when I'm faced with a major life decision, I really have a tough time and so this past week has caused me a great deal of angst.
I spent a day and a half mulling over whether or not to embark on the new road that was presented to me, not knowing where it would lead, or stick to the road I was heading on the day before. It was truly a difficult decision. After all, I'm all about seizing opportunities and taking risks. I believe that you miss out on a lot of life of you aren't willing to do that, but I also believe in the pursuing your goals with intense focus. Choosing the new road, would mean abandoning that focus for a new one.
In the end I realized that what appealed to me about the new opportunity was outweighed by what I would be giving up. What I already have was way too good to leave behind, and that's how I knew that saying "no" to the new opportunity was the right decision. When you're faced with a major decision, how do you cope? What tools and techniques do you employ to know for sure that you're making the best decision you can? Post your answers in the comments. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Achieve Your New Year's Resolutions
I want to share a very important piece of wisdom with you: You will never accomplish anything… if you never start. There is great power in beginning. I don’t know many people who don’t have at least a few goals for themselves unfortunately; the number of those people who have actually done anything about those goals is far too small. Oh sure we think about working on our goals, we dream about achieving those goals, but we rarely do anything about them.
As New Year's 2010 starts to fade from memory, this week's article is about helping you to set and achieve some resolutions that will really make a difference in your life in the next 11 1/2 months. Over the next few weeks we'll address a few of the key steps needed to make your resolutions a reality. The first one is simply this: Get Started!
How often have you said to yourself, “I really should …”? Whether it was travel, work less, begin an exercise program, write a book, we’ve all had goals and then for one reason or another failed to achieve them. Often the reason we fail is that we can’t complete the most important step; start.
It sounds simple but in fact sometimes starting is the hardest part. It’s easy to get so overwhelmed and intimidated by the scope of what needs to be done, that you just don’t know what to do first. Another problem people encounter is that they make the mistake of thinking that action follows motivation, but there’s no reason that the opposite won’t work just as well.
The problem with waiting to be motivated before you start is sometimes you just can’t get motivated. Instead of waiting for the inspiration to start working on your goals, just start. If you get things going, motivation will follow
Action Item
First make a list of a few major goals you have for your life. Now, figure out what would be the first three steps that you’d have to take to accomplish each of these goals and write them down underneath the goal. For example, if your goal is to write a book, set aside an hour each day, to write. Take the phone off the hook, turn the TV off, and write.
Don’t get tripped up by trying to figure out what the perfect first step is. Just write something down (you can always change it if you need to). In this situation, the key isn’t what you do, just that you do something.
Goal 1
a)
b)
c)
Goal 2
a)
b)
c)
Goal 3
a)
b)
c)
What you’ve just done is create your TO DO list for your next year. You should now have nine things that you can DO today to start making your resolutions come true. Don’t allow yourself to get overwhelmed by the whole project, just pick the first thing on the list and get started!
Monday, September 28, 2009
Making Progress Means Putting One Foot in Front of the Other
I had a great meeting with a coaching client today. It was a great meeting for a few reasons. Firstly, I really like this client. Even though we've only met a few times, we made an instant connection with each other. Our personalities are similar and we just "get" each other I think. It's always nice to interact with someone when you feel like you're both on the same wave length.
The bigger reason why I loved today's meeting was that I really felt like I was able to help this particular client work through what was holding her back from taking some basic actions that could really get her going in the direction she wants to go in her life. There are few feelings better, from my point of view anyway, then feeling like you've truly helped someone.
What my client needed to do is actually what most of us need to do when we're trying to make a change or achieve a new goal. She had to take a step back from her challenge, assess everything that she was trying to accomplish, and then begin to break it down into manageable steps.
So often when we look at a major life change, it overwhelms us. Think about what it's like when you move. Have you ever had to move, looked at your house or apartment, and though, "how in the world am I ever going to get this all packed up?" I know I have. And yet, almost everyone has moved at least once in their lives. It happens. It CAN be done. The secret is to not tackle the whole issue at once because when you do that you feel like you don't know where to start. So instead, you break it down. Maybe you start with the kitchen. Then, if that's still too much, you tackle one drawer in the kitchen until it's all packed. Then you do the next one. Eventually, the whole house is in boxes.
The same principal applies to our goals. At first you may feel like a few small actions won't make a difference to attaining your objective. But if you don't start with small pieces you can get so overwhelmed you don't take action at all. So start small, and accomplish something. Even if it's a seemingly insignificant step. The confidence you gain from crossing off that first task, will fuel your desire for the next. Soon, you'll have accomplished a entire list of things that bring you closer to your goal and you'll be well on your way.
So take a small step. Do it today. You may be a year, or more, away from where you want to be right now, but by taking action today you'll be one day closer to achieving your goal.
The bigger reason why I loved today's meeting was that I really felt like I was able to help this particular client work through what was holding her back from taking some basic actions that could really get her going in the direction she wants to go in her life. There are few feelings better, from my point of view anyway, then feeling like you've truly helped someone.
What my client needed to do is actually what most of us need to do when we're trying to make a change or achieve a new goal. She had to take a step back from her challenge, assess everything that she was trying to accomplish, and then begin to break it down into manageable steps.
So often when we look at a major life change, it overwhelms us. Think about what it's like when you move. Have you ever had to move, looked at your house or apartment, and though, "how in the world am I ever going to get this all packed up?" I know I have. And yet, almost everyone has moved at least once in their lives. It happens. It CAN be done. The secret is to not tackle the whole issue at once because when you do that you feel like you don't know where to start. So instead, you break it down. Maybe you start with the kitchen. Then, if that's still too much, you tackle one drawer in the kitchen until it's all packed. Then you do the next one. Eventually, the whole house is in boxes.
The same principal applies to our goals. At first you may feel like a few small actions won't make a difference to attaining your objective. But if you don't start with small pieces you can get so overwhelmed you don't take action at all. So start small, and accomplish something. Even if it's a seemingly insignificant step. The confidence you gain from crossing off that first task, will fuel your desire for the next. Soon, you'll have accomplished a entire list of things that bring you closer to your goal and you'll be well on your way.
So take a small step. Do it today. You may be a year, or more, away from where you want to be right now, but by taking action today you'll be one day closer to achieving your goal.
Friday, September 25, 2009
The Courage to Go On
Do you have what it takes to be a success in life? It's a question we all have to answer at one time or another (in fact most of us will have to answer it several times throughout our lives). If you want to be truly successful in your life, your career and your family life, you have to find out if you are actually willing to do what it takes to be a success. Many people want to be successful, but few are willing to do everything it takes to get there. That's what separates those who make it from those who don't. And one of the biggest obstacles to achieving success in any field is your willingness to keep going, to persevere, to refuse to quit, even when things are seemingly hopeless.
There was a particular episode of Grey's Anatomy that I think of when I think of courage. If you're not a fan, the show centres around the lives of doctors and interns at Seattle Grace Hospital. In this episode, a continuation of the finale from the season previous, one of the doctors on the show, a key character, died. The whole episode was about how those around him, his colleagues and those he was closest to, dealt with the loss.
While everyone seemed to deal with the accident that claimed their friend's life quite well initially, grief and anger eventually caught up to them and we watched as they were crushed by pain. It was a powerful show because it reminded me that we all face these incredibly difficult moments in life when it seems like we can't go on. Whether it's the death of a loved one, a diagnoses of illness or loss of a job, we all face moments where we think, "what do I do now?". It is at these moments that successful people behave differently than everybody else. It's not that successful people don't feel pain, hurt and anger; they do. What is different, is that despite those difficult feelings, successful people continue to move forward. They continue to keep going, to work, to love, to pray, to be ALIVE. And eventually, slowly but surely, life begins to feel "normal" again or, as my doctors told me after my transplant, you define a new "normal".
So today I ask you to ask yourself, "Am I willing to do whatever I need to do to realize my goals?" Am I willing to sacrifice, work hard and persevere in order to get where I want to go? And if you are, if you are truly dedicate to your goals and committed to making your dream life a reality, I believe you will. And when you git a "what do I do now?" moment, push through. Put one foot in front of the other. Eventually you'll come out the other side of your problem, stronger, wiser and more prepared to face your next challenge.
Have a great weekend!
There was a particular episode of Grey's Anatomy that I think of when I think of courage. If you're not a fan, the show centres around the lives of doctors and interns at Seattle Grace Hospital. In this episode, a continuation of the finale from the season previous, one of the doctors on the show, a key character, died. The whole episode was about how those around him, his colleagues and those he was closest to, dealt with the loss.
While everyone seemed to deal with the accident that claimed their friend's life quite well initially, grief and anger eventually caught up to them and we watched as they were crushed by pain. It was a powerful show because it reminded me that we all face these incredibly difficult moments in life when it seems like we can't go on. Whether it's the death of a loved one, a diagnoses of illness or loss of a job, we all face moments where we think, "what do I do now?". It is at these moments that successful people behave differently than everybody else. It's not that successful people don't feel pain, hurt and anger; they do. What is different, is that despite those difficult feelings, successful people continue to move forward. They continue to keep going, to work, to love, to pray, to be ALIVE. And eventually, slowly but surely, life begins to feel "normal" again or, as my doctors told me after my transplant, you define a new "normal".
So today I ask you to ask yourself, "Am I willing to do whatever I need to do to realize my goals?" Am I willing to sacrifice, work hard and persevere in order to get where I want to go? And if you are, if you are truly dedicate to your goals and committed to making your dream life a reality, I believe you will. And when you git a "what do I do now?" moment, push through. Put one foot in front of the other. Eventually you'll come out the other side of your problem, stronger, wiser and more prepared to face your next challenge.
Have a great weekend!
Monday, September 21, 2009
Tired? It's in your head... or at least some of it is
I'm exhausted this morning. I had a semi-long run yesterday morning after a fairly late night on Saturday and then made the mistake that I make WAY too often, of not hitting the pillow early last night and now I'm paying for it. (Someday hopefully I'll learn:) ) But as I sit in Starbucks hoping the caffeine will soon kick in, I am reminded that a great portion of how we feel (tired/energetic, happy/sad, anxious/peaceful) is our decision. Granted, that decision isn't always an easy one to make and there are numerous factors that determine how able we are to choose the healthier option, but still, the decision is ultimately ours.
So even though I feel tired today, I've decided I'm going to let it make me feel exhausted, depressed or lethargic. I'm going to continue with my day as though I'm feeling great. What I've experiences in the past is that when we live this way (with the expectation that things are/will be great) they usually end up that way.
Please don't misread me here to think I'm suggesting you don't need to get sleep or take care of yourself because you can just think your way out of exhaustion, depression or anxiety. That's certainly not true. However, I AM saying that your mind is an INCREDIBLY powerful thing. More powerful than most of us give it credit for. So if you possess one of the most powerful tools in the world (your mind) than doesn't it make sense to make sure it's working FOR you and not AGAINST you?
So if you're tired today; wake up! Decide today is going to be a great day. Decide to be effective, upbeat and productive. Decide that you won't allow your feelings to determine your actions, but rather your thoughts. You can't always control how you feel, but you CAN always control what you think. And thoughts lead to feelings. So don't try to feel yourself out of fatigue or exhaustion, BEHAVE your way out of it. Then tonight, when it's 9:00 and you're tired but your favourite TV show is on and you feel the urge to stay up and watch it, or you see that last load of laundry and want to get it done before you go to bed, resist and get some sleep. Your body will thank you and best of all, your decision to be productive, happy and energetic tomorrow will be a much easier one to make:)
Have a great day!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Seven years have passed so quickly!
This week I'm spending some time in one of my favourite Canadian cities, Toronto. While I'm a maritime boy at heart and am happiest on the "right coast", one of my favourite places to visit is Toronto. I'm here this week to undergo my 7 year post-transplant assessment. Once a year I come back here to Toronto to be followed by the doctors who cared for me eight years ago when I was waiting for my transplant and who guided us through the transplant process. It is a time for ensuring my health, but it's also a time of thanksgiving and reflection for the last seven years of life that this process has given me.I can't believe how fast the time has gone. Isn't that the sentence that people speak all the time? We all seem to be constantly amazed at how fast time goes by. And yet, I can't count the number of times I also hear people say, "someday I'm going to..." in reference to their goals and dreams. Somehow the irony escapes them. They recognize that time slips away too easily but always count on having more of it when needed. I hate to be a downer here, but someday, hopefully a long time from now, time will run out for all of us. That's why the biggest message of my presentations is "Live Today, Because Tomorrow isn't Promised to Anyone."
So as I enjoy the big city this week, it is also a time for reflection of how I've used the last seven years. It's been an amazing ride! I've had the chance to fall in love, get married and have a baby girl. I've been able to speak to tens of thousands of people, write a book and touch some hearts. I've crossed off at least half a dozen things on my "Bucket List". It's been a great time. And it motivates me to make the next seven years (if God choses to allow them to me) just as great.
Today I challenge you to evaluate where the time has gone and how you've used it. It need not be in grand gestures and amazing adventures (although those things are great), I just hope it's been used well. And if not, create a plan for yourself to ensure that from now on, it will be. Seven years goes by in an instant. Eighty years passes almost as quickly. So wake up, make a plan, and enjoy the ride!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Courage
"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear" - Mark Twain
Do you know someone whom you would call courageous? Do yo have someone who inspires you to keep going when you feel like giving up? Someone who shows you what it means to be a courageous person? I have been blessed to meet many in my life. And I carry their courage with me daily and call upon it when needed.
I love the quote that started this article, because to me it is the truest definition of courage I have ever seen. Many of us mistakenly believe that courage means never being afraid of anything. When we think of "the brave" we think of a general leading an army into battle or a firefighter running into a burning building to save someone. Those people are certainly brave, but today I want to talk about a different kind of courage - the kind of courage that can be found on the pediatric ward of a hospital, in a minivan wtih a single mom and her four kids, or at the finish line of marathon five hours after it started.
It takes little courage to run a marathon when you're an elite runner who: a)Knows you'll finish and b) Who only has to run for 3hrs (okay that's still courageous but stay with me here). What is infinitely more admirable to me, are those average Joes out there who line up at the start line of their first marathon not sure if they could survive it. It takes something special inside you to limp your way to the finish line, in great pain, for 5 or 10km just because you refuse to give up! I don't think I'll ever forget watching Ron from NBC's Biggest Loser, crossing the finish line of a marathon THIRTEEN HOURS and SIXTEEN MINUTES after he started!
Go to a pediatric ward in a hospital though and you'll find what I think is probably the most remarkable example of courage I've ever seen. I've been blessed that almost every time I was admitted to a hospital, I was quite sure I would be coming out again. Often though, I'd meet people inside who didn't necessarily have that comfort. And yet, and here is what was truly remarkable, they weren't despondent, sad, or depressed. In fact, compared to the general population, they were quite happy! Now that, is courage. Knowing there's a good chance you won't be alive too long, and deciding to enjoy the ride anyway!
I think if you asked 100 people if they were courageous or not, 70-80 would probably say no and yet I think there are actually many more courageous people in the world than that. It just depends on what you consider to be courageous. Too many of us think, counter to Mark Twain's quote above, that to be courageous means to be without fear. Wrong. To have courage, to me anyway, is to be totally afraid, and do it anyway!
Think about it, does it take any great courage to jump off of a roadside curb? No. Does it take courage to jump off of a chair? For a few maybe, but not for most of us? Does it take courage to jump off a cliff or out of an airplane? Yes. (Some might say it takes a little insanity too, but that's another blog entry:)) So why is it that we label those who in the latter group more courageous than the others? Because we reason that they must be at least somewhat fearful of what they are about to do. Because we're fearful of doing it ourselves. So in fact, you could say that courage requires fear. No fear- no courage.
What's my point? I want you to consider today, what am I afraid of? What barriers, obstacles and limits are in my way because of my fear? What am I unwilling to try because I'm too afraid?
Now, ask yourself the more important question, "Should I do some of those things? What would the result be if I did?"
I'm not advocating reckless behaviour here. That's the reason for the follow up questions. Not everything that we are fearful of ought to be tested. We're afraid of driving our cars 200mph... there's a good reason for that. Fear is, after all, at it's route, a preservation skill. What I'm talking about are the irrational fears and worries that many of us carry around that impede our growth and limit our experience of life.
Today, try to challenge some of your fears. Think honestly about whether they are legitimate (ie: the fear of jumping off of a cliff) or they bear little weight (the fear of meeting someone new because of what they might think about you). If you discover then that either: a) You have nothing to be afraid of at all (often the case) or b)What you are afraid of isn't really that bad, then go ahead and do it anyway! Not only will become more courageous, but your life will open up and you'll be able to experience things that you otherwise wouldn't have.
Have a great weekend! Play safe!
Mark
Do you know someone whom you would call courageous? Do yo have someone who inspires you to keep going when you feel like giving up? Someone who shows you what it means to be a courageous person? I have been blessed to meet many in my life. And I carry their courage with me daily and call upon it when needed.
I love the quote that started this article, because to me it is the truest definition of courage I have ever seen. Many of us mistakenly believe that courage means never being afraid of anything. When we think of "the brave" we think of a general leading an army into battle or a firefighter running into a burning building to save someone. Those people are certainly brave, but today I want to talk about a different kind of courage - the kind of courage that can be found on the pediatric ward of a hospital, in a minivan wtih a single mom and her four kids, or at the finish line of marathon five hours after it started.
It takes little courage to run a marathon when you're an elite runner who: a)Knows you'll finish and b) Who only has to run for 3hrs (okay that's still courageous but stay with me here). What is infinitely more admirable to me, are those average Joes out there who line up at the start line of their first marathon not sure if they could survive it. It takes something special inside you to limp your way to the finish line, in great pain, for 5 or 10km just because you refuse to give up! I don't think I'll ever forget watching Ron from NBC's Biggest Loser, crossing the finish line of a marathon THIRTEEN HOURS and SIXTEEN MINUTES after he started!
Go to a pediatric ward in a hospital though and you'll find what I think is probably the most remarkable example of courage I've ever seen. I've been blessed that almost every time I was admitted to a hospital, I was quite sure I would be coming out again. Often though, I'd meet people inside who didn't necessarily have that comfort. And yet, and here is what was truly remarkable, they weren't despondent, sad, or depressed. In fact, compared to the general population, they were quite happy! Now that, is courage. Knowing there's a good chance you won't be alive too long, and deciding to enjoy the ride anyway!
I think if you asked 100 people if they were courageous or not, 70-80 would probably say no and yet I think there are actually many more courageous people in the world than that. It just depends on what you consider to be courageous. Too many of us think, counter to Mark Twain's quote above, that to be courageous means to be without fear. Wrong. To have courage, to me anyway, is to be totally afraid, and do it anyway!
Think about it, does it take any great courage to jump off of a roadside curb? No. Does it take courage to jump off of a chair? For a few maybe, but not for most of us? Does it take courage to jump off a cliff or out of an airplane? Yes. (Some might say it takes a little insanity too, but that's another blog entry:)) So why is it that we label those who in the latter group more courageous than the others? Because we reason that they must be at least somewhat fearful of what they are about to do. Because we're fearful of doing it ourselves. So in fact, you could say that courage requires fear. No fear- no courage.
What's my point? I want you to consider today, what am I afraid of? What barriers, obstacles and limits are in my way because of my fear? What am I unwilling to try because I'm too afraid?
Now, ask yourself the more important question, "Should I do some of those things? What would the result be if I did?"
I'm not advocating reckless behaviour here. That's the reason for the follow up questions. Not everything that we are fearful of ought to be tested. We're afraid of driving our cars 200mph... there's a good reason for that. Fear is, after all, at it's route, a preservation skill. What I'm talking about are the irrational fears and worries that many of us carry around that impede our growth and limit our experience of life.
Today, try to challenge some of your fears. Think honestly about whether they are legitimate (ie: the fear of jumping off of a cliff) or they bear little weight (the fear of meeting someone new because of what they might think about you). If you discover then that either: a) You have nothing to be afraid of at all (often the case) or b)What you are afraid of isn't really that bad, then go ahead and do it anyway! Not only will become more courageous, but your life will open up and you'll be able to experience things that you otherwise wouldn't have.
Have a great weekend! Play safe!
Mark
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
Sick Baby... What Really Matters
I had to stay home with my 1 1/2yr old daughter Emma today. She was sick. I don't know if there is anything quite so sweet and yet so pitiful as a sick baby. She was not at all herself. Usually a ball of energy and smiles and totally independent, today she was very lethargic and cudly. She wanted her Daddy and blanket and didn't want to do much else. As hard as it was to watch her not feel well, it actually kind of nice to spend quiet time with her, just the two of us.
Today I learned something else about being a parent and was reminded about something else involved in being a human being. Being sick (whether with a minor illness like Emma's ear infection, or something major like cancer) has something to teach us about how to live life. Having a sick child is tough. Much easier if it's only a cold or something temporary, but it's still tough. Why? Because we hate to see our kids in pain, but also because we are left, for the most part, completely powerless. We can't make the illness go away (beyond taking them to the doctor and given them medications). All we can do is keep them company, comfort them and wait. I think that's a great lesson about what should really matter to us in life.
In the end what will really matter to you? When you lay on your death bed at 110, and you look back at your life, what will count to you most? Will it be the number of contracts you landed, the number of sales you made, the amount of money in your bank account or the size of your house? Will it matter what kind of car you drove, how far you climbed the corporate ladder or how many diplomas are on the wall? I doubt it. What will matter most to you will be how close you are to your family. How well did you raise your children? How many great memories do you have? What did you contribute to the world?
Of course we should do our utmost to be great (not just good) employees. Of course you should push yourself to be the best you can be and employ every gift and ability you have been given to make a difference in the lives of those around you. And of course you should exercise your intellect, study hard, achieve all that you can and also take time to ENJOY life. We just need to look at all of these things in proper perspective. Because while these things matter, they don't matter the MOST.
Today my baby girl reminded me how important she is and how much I need to be vigilant about being focused on her and my wife rather than my career. Today I was reminded where the true joy in life lies... in a crib across the hall:)
Today I learned something else about being a parent and was reminded about something else involved in being a human being. Being sick (whether with a minor illness like Emma's ear infection, or something major like cancer) has something to teach us about how to live life. Having a sick child is tough. Much easier if it's only a cold or something temporary, but it's still tough. Why? Because we hate to see our kids in pain, but also because we are left, for the most part, completely powerless. We can't make the illness go away (beyond taking them to the doctor and given them medications). All we can do is keep them company, comfort them and wait. I think that's a great lesson about what should really matter to us in life.
In the end what will really matter to you? When you lay on your death bed at 110, and you look back at your life, what will count to you most? Will it be the number of contracts you landed, the number of sales you made, the amount of money in your bank account or the size of your house? Will it matter what kind of car you drove, how far you climbed the corporate ladder or how many diplomas are on the wall? I doubt it. What will matter most to you will be how close you are to your family. How well did you raise your children? How many great memories do you have? What did you contribute to the world?
Of course we should do our utmost to be great (not just good) employees. Of course you should push yourself to be the best you can be and employ every gift and ability you have been given to make a difference in the lives of those around you. And of course you should exercise your intellect, study hard, achieve all that you can and also take time to ENJOY life. We just need to look at all of these things in proper perspective. Because while these things matter, they don't matter the MOST.
Today my baby girl reminded me how important she is and how much I need to be vigilant about being focused on her and my wife rather than my career. Today I was reminded where the true joy in life lies... in a crib across the hall:)
Saturday, September 05, 2009
Take Time to Stop and Appreciate
A very special day is coming up for me. I think of it as my second birthday, in fact, in many ways, it's more important than my actual birthday; it's the anniversary of the day of my transplant. On Monday, it will be September 7th, 2009. On September 7th, 2002 I received a second chance at life because of a heart & double-lung transplant.
In the seven years that have passed since then, SO MUCH has happened. I've gotten married, had a baby girl, started a successful career, run 3 marathons, published a best-selling book and learned A LOT about myself. It's been an amazing ride, and I owe it all to the gift of a stranger.
As amazing as it is that I am even alive, as incredible and unbelievable as it is that I get to wake and breathe every day, I'm still guilty of slipping into an attitude of apathy from time to time. I'm still not perfect at appreciating all of the amazing gifts of everyday life as I once did, and wish I still did. A great song written by a Canadian artist is called "Ordinary Miracles" and talks about all of those everyday occurrences that ,when we really think about it, are absolutely incredible, but because they happen everyday, we take them for granted.
On Monday I will once again celebrate the very special gift that I was given and renew my commitment to use that gift as well as I can. But tomorrow, on Sunday, I'll take time to commemorate a different occasion, the death of my donor. It's actually this day that makes me appreciate even more what I have been given. Because on tomorrow evening, it will be a different anniversary for that family. The will remember the sacrifice they made and the decision to donate their loved ones organs and tissues to strangers.
So as you relax on this long weekend, whether you feel happy or sad, are satisfied with life, or you're dealing with one of life's difficult patches, take some time to stop and appreciate what you have. Not so much the material things, although a roof over your head and food to eat shouldn't be taken for granted either (many people don't even have that), but the important things like family, friends, fulfilling employment. Take the time to appreciate a beautiful sunset, a chirping bird, the smile of your child.
A life well lived is a life properly appreciated. Happiness doesn't come from what happens to you, but how well you able to focus on the beauty of life. So go for a walk in the park or spend some time with your children and start appreciating beauty.
In the seven years that have passed since then, SO MUCH has happened. I've gotten married, had a baby girl, started a successful career, run 3 marathons, published a best-selling book and learned A LOT about myself. It's been an amazing ride, and I owe it all to the gift of a stranger.
As amazing as it is that I am even alive, as incredible and unbelievable as it is that I get to wake and breathe every day, I'm still guilty of slipping into an attitude of apathy from time to time. I'm still not perfect at appreciating all of the amazing gifts of everyday life as I once did, and wish I still did. A great song written by a Canadian artist is called "Ordinary Miracles" and talks about all of those everyday occurrences that ,when we really think about it, are absolutely incredible, but because they happen everyday, we take them for granted.
On Monday I will once again celebrate the very special gift that I was given and renew my commitment to use that gift as well as I can. But tomorrow, on Sunday, I'll take time to commemorate a different occasion, the death of my donor. It's actually this day that makes me appreciate even more what I have been given. Because on tomorrow evening, it will be a different anniversary for that family. The will remember the sacrifice they made and the decision to donate their loved ones organs and tissues to strangers.
So as you relax on this long weekend, whether you feel happy or sad, are satisfied with life, or you're dealing with one of life's difficult patches, take some time to stop and appreciate what you have. Not so much the material things, although a roof over your head and food to eat shouldn't be taken for granted either (many people don't even have that), but the important things like family, friends, fulfilling employment. Take the time to appreciate a beautiful sunset, a chirping bird, the smile of your child.
A life well lived is a life properly appreciated. Happiness doesn't come from what happens to you, but how well you able to focus on the beauty of life. So go for a walk in the park or spend some time with your children and start appreciating beauty.
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