Suck it Up Princess

The title of this article is a phrase my friends and I used often with each other throughout our college years. When someone was whining and complaining about an assignment they had to do, an exam they had to prepare for, or any other work that they wanted to postpone, our "caring" and "loving" response was most often "suck it up princess".

To some that probably comes off as being a little harsh. After all, aren't friends supposed to be supportive of each other? Of course they are. And when someone really needed support and a shoulder to cry on, we were there for each other. But more often than not, a complaint to a friend about this or that isn't so much a plea for sympathy as it is a chance to vent. Most often, as people, we just want to be heard and so we would let our friends vent, and then, when they were done, we'd remind them that if they wanted things to get better, they'd better get off their butt and do something about it. They'd better, "suck it up".

Self pity is a sure road to a life of misery and lost potential. Those who fall into the trap of continuously feeling sorry for themselves will never become what they could be because they will be too focused on the dozens of reasons they have for NOT doing things. The fact is, we all have dozens of reasons for not becoming what we can be. Those who are able to realize their potential and make a positive contribution to the world aren't immune from the challenges of life. Those people simply make a choice not to live in a place of being a victim. They chose to suck it up and move on and I would encourage you to do the same.

I realize that to some reading this, the philosophy I'm espousing here may seem cold and unsympathetic. And if you feel that way, honestly... too bad. I AM unsympathetic in many ways to the complaints and "trials" of many people. I am NOT unsympathetic to those with legitimate trials and challenges in life. And there are many who fall into this category. If you are battling a chronic illness, have severe financial struggles or are dealing with death, depression or some other significant loss, than my heart truly does go out to you. But for those with complaints that: "the economy is too tough for me to succeed", "that it's just to hard to eat right and take care of myself", that "I'm too busy to find time to spend with those I love", that "the world just isn't fair and everyone is out to get me", I have just three words: "suck. it. up."

If you want to be what you can, and ultimately were meant, to be in this world, then you have to get tough. You have to become unwilling to bow to the pressure and not allow yourself to wallow in self-pity and excuses and instead, suck it up, move on, and get about the business of living life.

Feeling Adventurous?

Right now my wife and I are watching the season premier of "The Amazing Race" in my opinion, one of the few 'reality tv' shows worth watching. The Amazing Race teaches lessons about many life lessons including the need for teamwork, the joys of having fun, and the importance of effective communication, but the most powerful lesson I think you can learn, is the role that adventure needs to play in a successful and fulfilling life.

In the Amazing Race (for those who haven't seen the show) contestants travel to numerous countries around the world while completing various tasks as fast as they can. One of the best parts of the event is that fact that no one ever knows where they are going next. They don't know what the next day will bring, what challenges they'll face, where they'll be going, or who you will encounter. A great metaphor for life.

Far too many people live, as Thoreau once wrote, "lives of quiet desperation". Every day is like the day before. They do the same things, meet the same people, have the same conversations, over and over again. Life and the world are both too amazing to live that way.

This week I challenge you to live your life and work your jobs/businesses with a little more adventure. Take a trip to somewhere you've never been (it doesn't have to be around the world, it could be to a restaurant in your hometown you've never been t0) the point is to experience something new. Make social plans with someone from work you've never socialized with. Experience something you've never experiences before. It will enrich your life and create memories you'll be able to cherish. Hopefully it will also give you a taste of how awesome new adventures can be and encourage you to do it again.

Go out there and live the adventure!

Love is Fuel

I am called a "motivational speaker" and even though I don't really talk that much about motivation specifically, people often ask me "what is the secret to staying motivated?". Everyone wants to know what they need to do to say motivated at work, in life and in pursuit of their goals. So, what is that secret? One word... LOVE.

It's this simple:
Those who achieve the highest levels of success love what they do.
Those who have the greatest joy in life and at work, love what they do.
Those who we admire most because of their achievements, their attitude, and the difference they make in the lives of others, love what they do.

So I ask you; do you love what they do?
If you're answer is no, you now have two choices: figure out how to start loving what you do, or start doing something else. There are no other logical conclusions. And yet I know that some of you reading this right now, are working at jobs you hate. Some of you are stuck in relationships that are making you miserable. I challenge you right now, that if you are in that situation, start creating a plan for how you can change it.

Of course I wouldn't suggest that you quit your job or split up with your partner tomorrow, unless it's a real emergency. But I do want to say that life is too short not to love what you do and who you spend it with. No life is perfect, but if you love who you experience it with, and what you spend most of it doing, then you'll live a life as close to perfect as we can as human beings.

Life is meant to be loved. Create a life that you can love.

You've Got to be Tough

Throughout my life, my parents blessed me with many life lessons. They taught me the skills I would need to succeed and be a good person. The one that really stands out to be though is toughness. I have been, my whole life, the smallest in the class and the shortest among my peers.

From birth we knew I would not be the big guy in any group. So when I talk about "toughness" it wasn't of a physical kind. Being tough physically was never something I had. For most of my life I was dealing with illness in various degrees of severity, and being physically strong was never a priority, or even a possibility. Thanks to a life-saving transplant, it is now, but still, physical toughness will only get you so far in life. What separates those who succeed from the rest, is inner strength.

By no means do I hold myself up to be the perfect example of this trait. I'm a pretty tough guy in many ways, but I have many moments of weakness as well. I've learned too that it's often in those moments of weakness that I learn the most:) But I have been able to achieve some things that I credit mostly to an ability to block out pain and discomfort, and pursue the goal with single-minded determination. To me, that's what being tough is all about.

Here's a discouraging, but true fact, the world does not want you to succeed; at least not to your maximum potential. Was that too harsh? Sorry, but it's true. The world works on averages. It wants us all to fall into our allotted spot on the curve and be "normal". So if you decide that you want to be exceptional, you will most certainly meet with some resistance.

Now most of us don't recognize this resistance for what it is because it doesn't come in literal form most of the time. You probably won't have people literally tell you that you can't do something or that you have no business doing what you want to do, but that doesn't mean you won't receive those messages. Human beings have all kinds of ways of keeping each other down. It's our way of making ourselves feel more comfortable about what we have, or haven't achieved in our lives. Your job, is to be tougher than the resistance. If you want to become all that you were meant to be, you can't allow external forces, especially negative ones, shape your performance.

So how do you become tougher?
1. Articulate your personal truths and stick to them - Many people float through life without ever articulating what they believe, what they stand for, what matters most to them and what they want to achieve. When you do this you leave your destination entirely to chance. Know what you stand for and don't let anyone get in the way of that.

2. Make a Decision - I tell all the people I speak to who want to try a marathon the same thing; running a marathon is just putting one foot in front of the other until you get to the finish line. All you have to do is decide not to quit until you finish. Sound simple? It is. And it's a key to success. If you commit to yourself that you won't stop until you realize your goals, then you stand a MUCH higher chance of achieving them.

3. Find Your Why - Many people can't tell you why they do what they do. That's sad, and counterproductive. To succeed at the highest level you have to to have a "why". You need to know exactly why you do what you do. What is your motive? Is it a strong one? If you go to work just to make money and pay bills, you'll never be as successful and valuable as the employee who goes to work because they want to make a difference, because they genuinely care about their customer, or because they see it as they calling. Find your why, and suddenly being tough won't be so... well... tough:)

Remembering What Life is All About

This week I had the privilege to participate in the 5th edition of the Canadian Transplant Games, an olympics-type week of competition where all of the athletes share something very special in common; they have all received an organ and/or tissue transplant.

Like the Olympics and other sporting events like it, all of the athletes at the transplant games have trained hard and are there to compete and do the best they can. Like all games, some won medals, others did not. But what these games have that others don't, is the special connection that every athlete has with one another because of their shared experiences. Everyone who participates in these games knows what it means to be very ill, they have faced death, and they have come out the other side with a new appreciation for life and a desire to make the most of every day they have been given.So while everyone wants to win, they are able to keep winning in it's proper perspective and remember that what is most important is to compete and to celebrate their life and their good health.

What makes the Transplant Games the most special is that in addition to transplant recipients, there are also families of donors who come. They come to see the impact that their gift has made on the lives of others, and they are comforted in the knowledge that they have made a difference to someone. It is always an emotional time when donor families meet recipients and we who have received the gift of life are able to say "Thank You" to those who have given it. To say that these moments are powerful, would be a dramatic understatement. The energy in the air is electric and something that I have never experienced anywhere else.

There are many great things about participating at these games every two years: the friendship and understanding shared among athletes, the fun of competition and the joy of winning, but by far the most valuable thing I take away from these games is the reminder of what really matters. As we go through the week and hear the stories of of survival, courage and healing, we're reminded that what matters more than medals is that we are all alive, able to share these experiences together. And so i challenge you this week to take inventory of your life and think about what really matters to you, and decide if you are living your life in accordance with those values. If so, great. If not, start remembering what Your life is all about.

Momentum... Keep it Going!

Physics textbooks say that the formula for momentum is Mass x Velocity. In other words, an object in motion tends to stay in motion. I've learned this lesson in my running and training many, many times. While I follow a 10 & 1 training program for running (which means that you run ten minutes and then walk one minute and repeat this process for the desired distance) I've learned that, especially nearing the end of a long race (1/2 marathon +) it becomes increasingly difficult to start running again after that one minute walk break. The body slows down to walk and then it wants to stay slowed down. It take more and more work to get moving again.

The same is true in a training program. I can't count the number of times that I have gotten myself into great shape preparing for an event and then, after the event is over, I take a break that becomes a hiatus and pretty soon I've lost my fitness level and have to start almost back at zero. This is an example of the law of Momentum and also the inverse law which is that an object at rest tends to stay at rest. In other words, it takes a lot more energy to get something moving than it does to keep it going once it's started. I recently finished another half marathon program and this time I've been continuing to train 3 times a week and getting a long run in fairly consistently. I'm trying hard to take advantage of the law of Momentum. I've already gotten into shape, so now I'm just trying to maintain it. While it took 4-5 days a week of fairly intense training to get here, it takes much less to keep it going. That's momentum.

If you study the lives of successful people in any field, you'll discover that what they are better at than others, is that they're really good at capitalizing on Momentum. They understand that it takes a TON of work to get a business, career or project off the ground, and relatively small amounts of energy to keep it going after that. That's why venture capitalists exit. They understand that while they could continue to start new companies, develop them, nurture them and then sell them for a profit, it's much more efficient to buy companies once they are already up and running and successful. We need to apply the same principal to our lives.

Too many of us experience success in some aspect of our lives and then rest on that success. We enjoy the feeling of having achieved something too long and don't capitalize on the momentum we've generated. Maybe you've just done a great job on a project at work. You've landed a big account, or finished a big report and you've been praised and recognized for your good work. There's a temptation to stop and bask in the glow of recognition, but if you do that, you'll be missing a great opportunity. instead of resting on your laurels, ask for another responsibility, or talk with your supervisor about your accomplishment to see if there something else that he or she can see you doing. Maybe it's even the time to ask for that raise or promotion.

Publicists know that once you've been able to generate a little interest or buzz about your client, the next step is to keep that person in the media as much and for as long as you can. In other words you use the recognition of the first media appearance to generate the next one. Momentum. Just like the little snowball at the top of the hill, once it gets moving and starts to gain speed and size, it becomes increasingly difficult to stop it. Your life and you success can be the same way.

So take advantage of whatever momentum you have currently generated in your life. If you've taken the first step toward a goal, hurry up and take the second step. It you've just lost ten pounds. Don't stop to enjoy those ten pounds, work on the next ten. After all, if Momentum = Mass x Velocity, your mass has just decreased so you need to increase your velocity that much more! :) Keep it going! Use Momentum to your advantage.

Faith - You Gotta' Believe

If there is a universal key to success it is faith. The belief that one will succeed is essential to achieving whatever goals one might have. So I thought at this time of year, when children provide a great example of faith in the form of their belief in a big man with a red suit, it would be a good time to discuss this success principal.

To achieve anything in life, you must first believe it is possible. In fact, I dare say that you have never realized a goal that you didn't first believe you could accomplish (even if that belief was shadowed with some doubts). At it's most basic level, we all accept this principal. We know that we'll never be a good parent, wife, husband etc. we must have at least a basic faith that we are capable of being that person. We know we'll fall down, we know we'll fall short, but we must also know we are capable. However, for some reason, despite being able to have faith in ourselves when it comes to fundamental abilities, we so often fail to have faith in ourselves to do extraordinary things, when it is exactly at the time that we attempt those things when faith is most critical.

Start working on your faith. You Can Do Anything. Period. The sooner you can make this a core belief, the sooner you will meet with success.

The first day of the rest of my life...

It's time for me to get excited about my life again. It used to be that I was so excited to get up in the morning, work on my business, spend time with my family, and just ENJOY life. But over the last year or so, I've let myself fall into a bit of a rut. There were still lots of good times and fun, but it just hasn't been clicking quite like it used to. Well I've had enough! I officially declare today "the first day of the rest of my life".

This is not the first of these firsts. I've had a few. I was probably 13 when the first one came. I had been told by doctors that I couldn't play sports anymore (a central part of my life to that point). I was crushed and my world fell apart. I wallowed in self-pity, railed against the decision and the doctors and felt cheated. But eventually I discovered other avenues to be passionate about and eventually declared one day that "this would be the first day of the rest of my life".

Another day came after my transplant. When I woke up and realized I was being given a second chance, I knew that I was having a first day of the rest of my life. That from that point forward, life would be different. And it has been. But I've allowed life, some problems with anxiety, and financial struggles, to dull that new feeling. I've allowed myself to be become numb to the miracle that is LIFE. So today I declare the first day of the rest of my life. The life where I am completely joyous, loving and passionate about life.

It's a powerful feeling making this declaration. And the best thing about it is, you can choose to do it at ANY time. You make a commitment to yourself that from this point forward things will be different, and then, you do it. It's almost that simple. Yes you have to choose that decision over and over again. But it can be done. Your attitude, after all, is all in your mind. YOUR mind. So YOU have control.

So if you've been in a funk lately, or not feeling like life is what you want it to be, make a change. Declare today the first day of the rest of your life and then most importantly, act accordingly. Act differently and your life will be different.

God Bless and have a great weekend!

Where are you headed?

I've been watching the v-log of a friend and colleague of mine Stu Saunders (www.ylcc.com) the last few days. Stu is both a friend and a mentor as he has been doing what I do for more than twenty years, and he's great at it. He loves what he does and more importantly, he loves the people he works with and for.

In addition to being a friend and colleague, Stu provides me with a vision of where I want, in part, my career to be. I can look at where he is, what he's done, what he's accomplished, and see in part what I where I want to be, what I want to do and what I want to accomplish. Having that vision clearly defined in my mind is a major step toward realizing it.

Do YOU know where you want to go? Do you have a clear vision for what you want your life, your career, your family to look like in 1, 5, 10 years from now? If you don't, let today be the day you start. Having a clear vision for where you want to go is a critical part of ensuring that your life goes in the direction you want it to. Of course there are no guarantees, and you'll likely hit roadblocks and detours, but you stand a much greater chance of achieving what you want to if you have a clear plan.

Map out your life. Articulate where you'd like to see your career, your relationships, your finances and your spiritual life to be. Not only will these descriptions provide inspiration, they will also give you great clues as to what steps you need to take to realize those visions. Once you figure out what those first steps are, do the next most important thing... take the first one.

Make today a great day!

Life is Precious and Fragile, so LAUGH HARD and LIVE WELL

I got a shocking email from a the family of a friend on Oct 6th. A business associate and friend whom I've known for a few years now, suddenly had a brain aneurysm. I found out because she sent me an email on the 6th about noon, and I responded shortly thereafter only to receive a response from her husband later that evening to say that she had the aneurysm about ten minutes after she's sent me the email! It happened just that fast!

Thankfully, it sounds like while she has a very long road ahead, she will make it. But her health crisis was just another reminder to me to how short and fragile life can be. We can be here today and gone tomorrow. So my message today is LAUGH HARD, HUG LOTS and LIVE BIG.

I share this story not to make your worry (although I know that's the reaction many might have, myself included from time to time). What I think we need to learn from tragedies like this one is not to worry constantly about what might happen to us, but rather to never take our lives for granted and to live everyday well.

That doesn't mean we live recklessly or that we don't make plans for the future, but rather it means we don't sit around waiting for the perfect opportunity to come along to do what we know we should be doing. If you have a friend you need to reconsile with, call them. If you have a family member you haven't spoken to in years, call them! If you have a dream in your heart that you're saving for a special day to act on, do it!

I believe Abraham Lincoln's quote may be one of the most true statements I've ever heard, "It is not the years in your life, it is the life in your years." Many have lived FULL complete lives in 30, 40 or 50yrs. Some have not been able to do the same in 80 or 90.

So don't waste time worrying about when your life may end and also don't waste time waiting to start living it. Live your goals and dreams today. Share your gifts with the world. Now. Make sure that when you leave this earth (whether it's a year from now or 80 years from now) that it will be at least a little bit better of a place because you were here.

Sometimes you just have to laugh...

Yesterday I had what was probably one of the funniest embarrassing moments of my career as a speaker. While it makes me look rather stupid, I thought it was worth sharing with you anyway...

On Saturday I spoke to the Atlantic Fabricare Association (an association of dry cleaners). The event went well and I happily accepted their cheque after the event, put it in my pocket and went home.

My wife and baby went with me on the trip and we didn't arrive back home until late that night. So when we got home I was tired and wanted to get to bed, so I threw my pants on the floor and went to sleep.

The next evening I realized that I hadn't cashed the cheque yet. I made a mental note to put the cheque in my wallet so I could bring it to the bank in the morning. That night as my head hit the pillow I remembered that I still hadn't put the cheque in my wallet. So I got up and went to get it out of my suit pants, but the pants weren't on the floor anymore. My wife has a habit of picking up after me (I know I should pick up after myself:) so I went to look in the closet assuming she'd hung them up for me, but they weren't there...

After much searching, I found the pants in the basement... on a drying rack... wet... that's right, my wife had WASHED my dry-clean only suit pants. But wait, it get's better... the cheque was still in the pocket! It was a lump of wet, balled up paper.

So I fished out this lump of wet paper from the pocket of the pants and at 11:00 at night tried to unfold it and piece it back together. Amazingly, despite the fact that it was in about a dozen pieces, I was able to re-assemble the cheque. I taped it together but the teller at the bank, looking at this mess of what used to be a cheque, and politely told me she couldn't cash it.

I was left now with the unenviable task of calling my client, a dry cleaner, to ask him if he could cut me another cheque because why again?... because my wife had washed my dry-clean only suit pants and their cheque in the process! How stupid did I feel? Very!!

Thankfully, the client is a wonderful guy. He laughed at what was obviously a ridiculous situation and I couldn't help but laugh with him

Sometimes life hands us situations that can be maddening and frustrating. We can take those situations and struggle against them, try to fight them, get angry with them and cry "no fair"! Or, we can roll with the punches, go with the flow and laugh at them as best we can. While the first option may seem more appealing initially, it's the second option that will keep your blood pressure down and help you to smile and enjoy life more. Take your pick!

Eliminate Negative News from Your Life

I was listening to the radio on my way to work today and heard a report about the increasing death toll from the tragic earthquake and resulting tsunami in Samoa when I realized how hearing this "update" was actually one of the insidious ways that bad news creeps deeper and deeper into our consciencenous.

This won't be the first time you've heard someone point out the fact that bad news gets more attention than good news. It's hard to live on this earth and not notice that. Unfortunately it must be what sells, otherwise the news organizations wouldn't do it. But what I realized listening to the news this morning was, it's not just that bad news is reported more often than good news, but that it's reported over and over again. When something like what happened in Samoa happens, we don't just hear the story and it's done, we hear about it over and over and over again for weeks. We'll get updates on the death toll, updates on the negative economic impact, updates on how many bodies are found in the rubble, and on and on it will go. It's not so much that good news isn't reported once in a while, it's that it's reported once and that's it.

This weekend "Run for the Cure" was hosted across the country. Our local city's run had over a thousands people participate (quite a feat for a city of 100,000 people). The difference in the reporting of this event is that it was mentioned quickly, once. We won't hear about it for weeks. We won't get daily updates from people who participated on how they benefited, what a great time it was and how it made a difference, like we might if it were a story about a tragedy. Good news, you see, doesn't sell.

So, what are we, the people who strive to stay positive and encouraged in a discouraging world, to do? I would like to encourage an all out boycott of mainstream news, but I know that isn't practical for many. Although it is what I try to practice as much as I can. It's not that I want people to stick their proverbial heads in the sand and pretend like the world is a harmonious heaven on earth, BUT, it would be beneficial to our collective mental and emotional health, I think, if we didn't feel so compelled to stay up to speed, and share, every negative bit of news we hear.

So if you feel like you can do it, try abstaining from the evening news. It's 90% negative stuff that either a) Doesn't directly affect you OR b)You can't do anything about OR c)Both. So why poison your brain with it? Many will claim that they NEED to watch the news to stay "up to date". I'd ask, why? To me, if you aren't a world leader, there is little benefit for me to know about Iranian nuclear armament for example. And, guess what, if it's something you really need to know about, there are plenty of folks out there who will ensure that you're up to speed on all the negativity happening around the world.

So, should you just stay in your own little bubble and live a quiet life, detached from the rest of the world? Of course not. Community enriches life and staying connected to others it important. But why not replace some of the negative news most of us fill our brains with every day, with some positivity instead. One of the great things about the internet is that you can now access many sources of Good News that are out there. These publications for the most part can't afford to be in print, because not enough of us read them for them to stay in business, BUT they can produce online publications for little cost.

Here are just a few of the great newspapers out there that you can visit that are chalked full of Good News! And better yet, they're free!

• http://www.happynews.com/
• http://alittlegoodnewstoday.org/
• http://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/

What you'll see in these publications is NOT a naive happy-go-lucky, head in the sand, attitude toward life. You'll read stories of bad things happening, when they do, but instead of the focus being on the loss and tragedy in those stories, you'll read about the positive results of these tragedies. The way the negative event spurred positive actions.

It's what the world needs more of. The truth is there is a TON of great stuff happening in the world. Let's start filling our minds with THAT news. But be careful, if you do this for a while, you may feel a little out of place the next time your colleagues or friends want to talk about the latest plane crash or suicide bomber. But, the upside is, while you might not fit in as well anymore, you will brighten the lives of those around you, as well as your own. And you may just find this "horrible" world, isn't so bad after all!

Making Progress Means Putting One Foot in Front of the Other

I had a great meeting with a coaching client today. It was a great meeting for a few reasons. Firstly, I really like this client. Even though we've only met a few times, we made an instant connection with each other. Our personalities are similar and we just "get" each other I think. It's always nice to interact with someone when you feel like you're both on the same wave length.

The bigger reason why I loved today's meeting was that I really felt like I was able to help this particular client work through what was holding her back from taking some basic actions that could really get her going in the direction she wants to go in her life. There are few feelings better, from my point of view anyway, then feeling like you've truly helped someone.

What my client needed to do is actually what most of us need to do when we're trying to make a change or achieve a new goal. She had to take a step back from her challenge, assess everything that she was trying to accomplish, and then begin to break it down into manageable steps.

So often when we look at a major life change, it overwhelms us. Think about what it's like when you move. Have you ever had to move, looked at your house or apartment, and though, "how in the world am I ever going to get this all packed up?" I know I have. And yet, almost everyone has moved at least once in their lives. It happens. It CAN be done. The secret is to not tackle the whole issue at once because when you do that you feel like you don't know where to start. So instead, you break it down. Maybe you start with the kitchen. Then, if that's still too much, you tackle one drawer in the kitchen until it's all packed. Then you do the next one. Eventually, the whole house is in boxes.

The same principal applies to our goals. At first you may feel like a few small actions won't make a difference to attaining your objective. But if you don't start with small pieces you can get so overwhelmed you don't take action at all. So start small, and accomplish something. Even if it's a seemingly insignificant step. The confidence you gain from crossing off that first task, will fuel your desire for the next. Soon, you'll have accomplished a entire list of things that bring you closer to your goal and you'll be well on your way.

So take a small step. Do it today. You may be a year, or more, away from where you want to be right now, but by taking action today you'll be one day closer to achieving your goal.

Celebrate! Do it loud and do it often!

When was the last time you celebrated? I mean really enthusiastically enjoyed and rejoiced about something? If you are like most of us, it was probably a while ago. Maybe the birth of your child, your wedding, or the wedding of your child, or close friend. Or maybe it's been so long since you were really celebratory, you can't even remember when the last time was. If that's the case don't feel badly, let's just do something about it.

I read a fascinating article recently about celebration, maybe the most interesting part was, it was written by a catholic priest. We don't usually think of the clergy (especially Catholic clergy) as being pro-celebration, but what this priest pointed out to his readers is that most of us don't really even know HOW to celebrate properly. We try to celebrate, and we end up with hangovers and regrets. We try to celebrate with parties, fast cars and extreme sports, but soon discover that the "rush" doesn't last.

Does that mean that real celebration cant' be done or that we shouldn't bother? Of course not. We are meant to truly ENJOY life and if we look, there are lots of excuses to celebrate. A birthday, an anniversary, a promotion, even a beautiful fall day (today is a great one), is a great reason to celebrate; to enjoy the moment, to relish being alive! The Oscar winning film was right, Life Really IS Beautiful.

So find something to celebrate today!

The Courage to Go On

Do you have what it takes to be a success in life? It's a question we all have to answer at one time or another (in fact most of us will have to answer it several times throughout our lives). If you want to be truly successful in your life, your career and your family life, you have to find out if you are actually willing to do what it takes to be a success. Many people want to be successful, but few are willing to do everything it takes to get there. That's what separates those who make it from those who don't. And one of the biggest obstacles to achieving success in any field is your willingness to keep going, to persevere, to refuse to quit, even when things are seemingly hopeless.

There was a particular episode of Grey's Anatomy that I think of when I think of courage. If you're not a fan, the show centres around the lives of doctors and interns at Seattle Grace Hospital. In this episode, a continuation of the finale from the season previous, one of the doctors on the show, a key character, died. The whole episode was about how those around him, his colleagues and those he was closest to, dealt with the loss.

While everyone seemed to deal with the accident that claimed their friend's life quite well initially, grief and anger eventually caught up to them and we watched as they were crushed by pain. It was a powerful show because it reminded me that we all face these incredibly difficult moments in life when it seems like we can't go on. Whether it's the death of a loved one, a diagnoses of illness or loss of a job, we all face moments where we think, "what do I do now?". It is at these moments that successful people behave differently than everybody else. It's not that successful people don't feel pain, hurt and anger; they do. What is different, is that despite those difficult feelings, successful people continue to move forward. They continue to keep going, to work, to love, to pray, to be ALIVE. And eventually, slowly but surely, life begins to feel "normal" again or, as my doctors told me after my transplant, you define a new "normal".

So today I ask you to ask yourself, "Am I willing to do whatever I need to do to realize my goals?" Am I willing to sacrifice, work hard and persevere in order to get where I want to go? And if you are, if you are truly dedicate to your goals and committed to making your dream life a reality, I believe you will. And when you git a "what do I do now?" moment, push through. Put one foot in front of the other. Eventually you'll come out the other side of your problem, stronger, wiser and more prepared to face your next challenge.

Have a great weekend!

What Golf Can Teach us About Life

I'm heading out golfing today. This is unusual for me for a few reasons. Firstly because I only golf about 3 times a year (wish I could golf more, but can't seem to find the time). And secondly I'm playing in a tournament (which I almost never do). The only reason I'm playing is because it's for an awesome cause and I get to play with my three brothers who I never get to spend enough time with.

So I was thinking about today's blog it occurred to me that golf has a lot of parallels with life; lot's to teach us. Here are just a few of my observations. Maybe the hardcore golfers can add more in the comments...

Patience - There is perhaps no greater virtue in life or in golf. There is nothing like shanking a ball (or three) in the woods to get your blood boiling. It never ceases to amaze me that no matter how good or bad you are at golf, there are always frustrating moments in a round of golf. The good golfer, and the one who learns to enjoy the game, is he or she who is patient enough with themselves to move on and hit the next shot.

The same is true in life. We all hit roadblocks, brick walls and detours. There are times in life that can make us want to tear our hair out. Those who are successful in life, and enjoy the ride, are those who are patient with themselves and others and realize that no one's perfect.

Appreciation - Someone once said that "a round of golf is a good walk ruined" but a golfer who really enjoys the game can fun no matter how poorly their round goes. I particularly love the older golfers who have played the game for forty or more years. They often are more excited by the number of balls they find or how quickly they are able to play than what they shoot. They have learned that the experience of being outside and the friendship of their golfing friends is as important a part of the game as the shots they hit.

Life is much the same way I think. Those who are uniquely focused on their goals miss out on a lot of the joys of life. Taking the time to enjoy the little moments along the path like taking in a perfect sunset, reveling in the smile of a child or that perfect cup of coffee on a Saturday morning, enrich the journey so much. Take time to appreciate all that you have.

Striving for Excellence - Much like life, golf is really all about striving for excellence. Striving for that perfect round. I don't really know if anyone ever gets there because, well, you could always have shaved one more shot off your score, and yet still we strive. You can hit fifty bad shots in a row and be ready to give up the game forever and then you hit that one perfect shot. The club hits the ball in that special way, you feel the ball jump off the club and you just know it's pure. That one shot will keep most golfers coming back over and over again.

In life, those who are successful, strive for excellence all the while knowing they'll never be perfect. Some might argue that it's pointless to pursue something that you can't achieve, but others know the truth, it is the pursuit that matters. One need never achieve perfection in anything (if that's even achievable) as long as that is the goal you will be on the right path and ultimately, be successful in what you do.

So that's it for today. I'm off to hit the links. Wish me luck and hope that I and you will have at least one of those "pure shots" today.

Seven years have passed so quickly!

This week I'm spending some time in one of my favourite Canadian cities, Toronto. While I'm a maritime boy at heart and am happiest on the "right coast", one of my favourite places to visit is Toronto. I'm here this week to undergo my 7 year post-transplant assessment. Once a year I come back here to Toronto to be followed by the doctors who cared for me eight years ago when I was waiting for my transplant and who guided us through the transplant process. It is a time for ensuring my health, but it's also a time of thanksgiving and reflection for the last seven years of life that this process has given me.

I can't believe how fast the time has gone. Isn't that the sentence that people speak all the time? We all seem to be constantly amazed at how fast time goes by. And yet, I can't count the number of times I also hear people say, "someday I'm going to..." in reference to their goals and dreams. Somehow the irony escapes them. They recognize that time slips away too easily but always count on having more of it when needed. I hate to be a downer here, but someday, hopefully a long time from now, time will run out for all of us. That's why the biggest message of my presentations is "Live Today, Because Tomorrow isn't Promised to Anyone."

So as I enjoy the big city this week, it is also a time for reflection of how I've used the last seven years. It's been an amazing ride! I've had the chance to fall in love, get married and have a baby girl. I've been able to speak to tens of thousands of people, write a book and touch some hearts. I've crossed off at least half a dozen things on my "Bucket List". It's been a great time. And it motivates me to make the next seven years (if God choses to allow them to me) just as great.

Today I challenge you to evaluate where the time has gone and how you've used it. It need not be in grand gestures and amazing adventures (although those things are great), I just hope it's been used well. And if not, create a plan for yourself to ensure that from now on, it will be. Seven years goes by in an instant. Eighty years passes almost as quickly. So wake up, make a plan, and enjoy the ride!

What if Your Life Wasn't Just About You?

Today is the 7th anniversary of my Heart and Double-Lung Transplant. This day is always one of mixed emotions. There is great joy and appreciation for the gift of life and a second chance. There have been so many blessings and beautiful experiences that I've been able to have in the past seven years thanks to that gift.

Along with all of those emotions come this set of questions that I ask myself every so often. Questions like: How am I doing? Am I making good use of the gift I've been given? Is the way I live my life honoring the life lived by my donor?

I suspect I'll never feel 100% sure that I've done a good enough job, but that doesn't change the fact that I think the question is still worth asking. And today I challenge you to ask it of yourself too. In fact, you don't have to be a transplant recipient to gain the perspective that I think we should all look at our lives with; "if you were living for two instead of just for yourself, would you do anything differently? What if your life isn't just about you?"

The more life experience I gain, the more I come to realize that my life isn't just about me. My decisions affect many others; my mood impacts the mood of my family and friends, my decision to give or not to give, of myself, adds or takes away from the lives of others. In short, we're all connected in this world and what you do today, will impact the lives of others tomorrow. In fact, in some cases, an action you take today, could impact THE WORLD a day, a month or even a century later. It isn't a stretch to think that the actions of a little black woman on a bus in Montgomery, Alabama in 1955 played a role in the election of young black man to the highest office in the United States more than 50 years later.

I don't suspect Parks ever dreamed that when she refused to give up her seat to a white passenger, she would spark a movement that would bring another young black minister to the forefront of racial politics and lead to a movement that would eventually create a better life for millions of black Americans, but it did.

So what is your life about? What will your legacy be?

Please don't misunderstand me. Don't feel pressured by these questions or feel like somehow if you aren't transforming history that your life doesn't matter. We ALL matter. I believe a creator willed us all into existence, and that in and of itself, means we all matter A LOT, and grand gestures and world-changing events are not the only ways to make a difference in the world. A child well-raised, a business created, an elderly parent cared for or a charity supported, are all examples of good uses of one's life. One need not be Dr. King or Mother Theresa to make a difference.

So, if your life isn't just about you, what IS it about? I'm no expert. I'm not a philosopher, religious leader or spiritual guru. I don't have the complete answer but I know this: if you do your best each day to make a positive difference in the life of someone else, you can't go wrong!

New Book: Live Life from the Heart Now Released!

Well it's hard to believe, but after a year of writing, editing and designing, my book, "Live Life from the Heart: 52 Weeks to a Life of Passion and Purpose" is finally available for sale.

I've written the book for the benefit of all those who seek more from life. When I decided to write it, I was striving to create something that would both inspire and instruct people to live the life they've always dreamed of living.

The book is formatted into 52 short easy-to-read chapters so that you can sit down and read it a little at a time, or all at once, whatever you prefer. Each chapter centres on a different idea and contains a point of action at the end, something for you to work on. $13.95 (+ tax)

If you're interested in buying a copy of the book, you can buy it on-line from my website: www.MarkBlackSpeaks.com and click on the "Buy Now" button.

Have a great week and I hope you enjoy the book!