Sacrifice and discipline... two words that make many people want to run. For most people, there is nothing positive about sacrifice or discipline, after all, who wants to give anything up or deny themselves? As human beings we have an innate tendency to seek out pleasure and avoid pain, add to that the fact that we live in a culture that continually tells us we "deserve" everything from SUVs and Big Screen TV's to being thin and having beautiful skin. If you believe what you watch, you could easily be led to believe that the best thing you can do for yourself is satisfy every urge, desire or want you ever have. The fact is, when it comes to being successful in life, nothing could be further from the truth. Your success is dependent, at least in part, to your ability to postpone gratification, or in other words, your willingness to sacrifice and discipline yourself.
As children our parents, if they were good ones, disciplined us when we needed it. Discipline doesn't necessarily mean punishment (although that is what many people associate it with) it really just means that a parent does what they have to do to keep their child(ren) headed on the right path. Sacrifice works much the same way... parents sacrifice many things that they might 'want' to do, in order to achieve a greater good for their child(ren).
As adults, the responsibilities of our parents fall on us. We are called to sacrifice for, and discipline, ourselves. Unfortunately, many people fall into the trap of buying into the messages of pop culture telling them: "you deserve it", "reward yourself", "you're worth it". This entitled ideology destroys the potential of many people. I would suggest that the "entitlement ideology" that is so pervasive in North America is the root cause of the credit card crisis and maybe even the obesity epidemic.
When believe "I deserve it" even when they don't, they spend money they don't have. When people thing they should "reward themselves" even if they haven't done anything to warrant a reward, they eat more than they should. What successful people do that is different, is they think longer term. They realize that there is nothing particularly wrong with thinking "I deserve it" if you've worked really hard and actually do deserve it. They understand that rewarding yourself is fine, if you've done something worthy of being rewarded. But they also understand how to think LONG term. They are able to postpone short-term small gratification in order to get longer term larger gratification.
One of the best examples of this is a now famous Stanford study of children on short-term gratification that has come to be known as the "marshmallow study". Psychologists took a group of 4 year olds and offered them one marshmallow right now, or two marshmallow's if they waited until later. The two groups were then followed for many years...those who were able to postpone gratification and get two marshmallow's later, were found to be far more successful than those who ate one marshmallow right away (read more about the study: http://www.sybervision.com/Discipline/marshmallow.htm)
As someone who has now trained for, and run, several long distance running events, I've learned that it takes a great deal of sacrifice and discipline to train several days a week for months in order to get ready for an event. It means sacrificing some late nights out with friends and it means disciplining myself to get out of bed early in the morning on the weekend to get a run in. However, what I have also learned is that the long-term reward of finishing a marathon, is much more gratifying that the short-term reward of staying in bed or going out for drinks. The same applies to whatever your goals and dreams are. If the goal is big enough, any and all sacrifices will be worth it.
So this week I encourage you to look at whether there are some sacrifices you need to make in order to reach that next level of success. In what areas of your life do you need to be more disciplined?
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Remembering What Life is All About
This week I had the privilege to participate in the 5th edition of the Canadian Transplant Games, an olympics-type week of competition where all of the athletes share something very special in common; they have all received an organ and/or tissue transplant.
Like the Olympics and other sporting events like it, all of the athletes at the transplant games have trained hard and are there to compete and do the best they can. Like all games, some won medals, others did not. But what these games have that others don't, is the special connection that every athlete has with one another because of their shared experiences. Everyone who participates in these games knows what it means to be very ill, they have faced death, and they have come out the other side with a new appreciation for life and a desire to make the most of every day they have been given.So while everyone wants to win, they are able to keep winning in it's proper perspective and remember that what is most important is to compete and to celebrate their life and their good health.
What makes the Transplant Games the most special is that in addition to transplant recipients, there are also families of donors who come. They come to see the impact that their gift has made on the lives of others, and they are comforted in the knowledge that they have made a difference to someone. It is always an emotional time when donor families meet recipients and we who have received the gift of life are able to say "Thank You" to those who have given it. To say that these moments are powerful, would be a dramatic understatement. The energy in the air is electric and something that I have never experienced anywhere else.
There are many great things about participating at these games every two years: the friendship and understanding shared among athletes, the fun of competition and the joy of winning, but by far the most valuable thing I take away from these games is the reminder of what really matters. As we go through the week and hear the stories of of survival, courage and healing, we're reminded that what matters more than medals is that we are all alive, able to share these experiences together. And so i challenge you this week to take inventory of your life and think about what really matters to you, and decide if you are living your life in accordance with those values. If so, great. If not, start remembering what Your life is all about.
Like the Olympics and other sporting events like it, all of the athletes at the transplant games have trained hard and are there to compete and do the best they can. Like all games, some won medals, others did not. But what these games have that others don't, is the special connection that every athlete has with one another because of their shared experiences. Everyone who participates in these games knows what it means to be very ill, they have faced death, and they have come out the other side with a new appreciation for life and a desire to make the most of every day they have been given.So while everyone wants to win, they are able to keep winning in it's proper perspective and remember that what is most important is to compete and to celebrate their life and their good health.
What makes the Transplant Games the most special is that in addition to transplant recipients, there are also families of donors who come. They come to see the impact that their gift has made on the lives of others, and they are comforted in the knowledge that they have made a difference to someone. It is always an emotional time when donor families meet recipients and we who have received the gift of life are able to say "Thank You" to those who have given it. To say that these moments are powerful, would be a dramatic understatement. The energy in the air is electric and something that I have never experienced anywhere else.
There are many great things about participating at these games every two years: the friendship and understanding shared among athletes, the fun of competition and the joy of winning, but by far the most valuable thing I take away from these games is the reminder of what really matters. As we go through the week and hear the stories of of survival, courage and healing, we're reminded that what matters more than medals is that we are all alive, able to share these experiences together. And so i challenge you this week to take inventory of your life and think about what really matters to you, and decide if you are living your life in accordance with those values. If so, great. If not, start remembering what Your life is all about.
Sunday, August 01, 2010
Pushing Through to the Next Peak
Yesterday I completed another long run in my training for a marathon in November, 19km, and it as a doozy! A well-known truth distance running is that on any given day you can have a great run or a horrible run. Today was one of those tough ones. I finished it, in a decent time even, but I felt like crap, and many, many, times, I felt like stopping. Why didn't I? 1) Because I have nurtured a desire and an ability to push through pain, discomfort, and fatigue, in order to achieve a goal and 2) I knew it would pass.
Another truth of distance running is that when you start to feel crummy, and you often do, it doesn't mean that you're day is near it's end or that you will necessarily feel that way for the rest of the run. Long distance running, like life, has it's ups and downs. In one day, a runner may experience three or four peaks and valleys. Moments where you feel like you want to stop are followed moments later by feeling like you could run forever. So when they hit a rough patch, experienced runners know that all they need to do is push through it, and a better stretch is sure to follow. The catch is, you actually have to push through the tough stuff and keep running, in order to experience the good run on the other side. What a great metaphor for success in business and in life.
In the Book of Proverbs in the Bible it says, "It is always darkest before the dawn". In other words, our greatest moments often follow our toughest ones. If you are like me and you find this to be incredibly accurate, have you ever thought about why? Have you ever wondered why it is that our greatest achievements, our proudest moments, and our best memories, often come after our worst failures, saddest defeats and worst nightmares? I believe it is because for those who choose to, obstacles can supply an even greater desire to succeed. Those who fail know how it feels, and they don't like it. That feeling is a great motivator to work harder and succeed next time, and it provides the strength and determination you need to push through the inevitably difficult times in life so that you can experience the success that awaits on the other side.
A business that succeeds after going bankrupt, an athlete who wins the gold after falling in the race the year before, the candidate who wins the election after having been defeated four years earlier, know how special their achievements are and able to appreciate them in ways that those who manage to go straight to the top without hitting many bumps, don't. And they are able to experience those successes only because instead of giving up when they encounter discouragement and defeat (as many others would), they push through to the other side.
So are you pushing through? Are you focussed on the peak when you're going through your valley, or do you hit a dip and quit? The choice is yours, and the level of your success will be determined by your choice.
And victory never tastes so sweet as when it comes after a loss
Another truth of distance running is that when you start to feel crummy, and you often do, it doesn't mean that you're day is near it's end or that you will necessarily feel that way for the rest of the run. Long distance running, like life, has it's ups and downs. In one day, a runner may experience three or four peaks and valleys. Moments where you feel like you want to stop are followed moments later by feeling like you could run forever. So when they hit a rough patch, experienced runners know that all they need to do is push through it, and a better stretch is sure to follow. The catch is, you actually have to push through the tough stuff and keep running, in order to experience the good run on the other side. What a great metaphor for success in business and in life.
In the Book of Proverbs in the Bible it says, "It is always darkest before the dawn". In other words, our greatest moments often follow our toughest ones. If you are like me and you find this to be incredibly accurate, have you ever thought about why? Have you ever wondered why it is that our greatest achievements, our proudest moments, and our best memories, often come after our worst failures, saddest defeats and worst nightmares? I believe it is because for those who choose to, obstacles can supply an even greater desire to succeed. Those who fail know how it feels, and they don't like it. That feeling is a great motivator to work harder and succeed next time, and it provides the strength and determination you need to push through the inevitably difficult times in life so that you can experience the success that awaits on the other side.
A business that succeeds after going bankrupt, an athlete who wins the gold after falling in the race the year before, the candidate who wins the election after having been defeated four years earlier, know how special their achievements are and able to appreciate them in ways that those who manage to go straight to the top without hitting many bumps, don't. And they are able to experience those successes only because instead of giving up when they encounter discouragement and defeat (as many others would), they push through to the other side.
So are you pushing through? Are you focussed on the peak when you're going through your valley, or do you hit a dip and quit? The choice is yours, and the level of your success will be determined by your choice.
And victory never tastes so sweet as when it comes after a loss
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