Throughout my life, my parents blessed me with many life lessons. They taught me the skills I would need to succeed and be a good person. The one that really stands out to be though is toughness. I have been, my whole life, the smallest in the class and the shortest among my peers.
From birth we knew I would not be the big guy in any group. So when I talk about "toughness" it wasn't of a physical kind. Being tough physically was never something I had. For most of my life I was dealing with illness in various degrees of severity, and being physically strong was never a priority, or even a possibility. Thanks to a life-saving transplant, it is now, but still, physical toughness will only get you so far in life. What separates those who succeed from the rest, is inner strength.
By no means do I hold myself up to be the perfect example of this trait. I'm a pretty tough guy in many ways, but I have many moments of weakness as well. I've learned too that it's often in those moments of weakness that I learn the most:) But I have been able to achieve some things that I credit mostly to an ability to block out pain and discomfort, and pursue the goal with single-minded determination. To me, that's what being tough is all about.
Here's a discouraging, but true fact, the world does not want you to succeed; at least not to your maximum potential. Was that too harsh? Sorry, but it's true. The world works on averages. It wants us all to fall into our allotted spot on the curve and be "normal". So if you decide that you want to be exceptional, you will most certainly meet with some resistance.
Now most of us don't recognize this resistance for what it is because it doesn't come in literal form most of the time. You probably won't have people literally tell you that you can't do something or that you have no business doing what you want to do, but that doesn't mean you won't receive those messages. Human beings have all kinds of ways of keeping each other down. It's our way of making ourselves feel more comfortable about what we have, or haven't achieved in our lives. Your job, is to be tougher than the resistance. If you want to become all that you were meant to be, you can't allow external forces, especially negative ones, shape your performance.
So how do you become tougher?
1. Articulate your personal truths and stick to them - Many people float through life without ever articulating what they believe, what they stand for, what matters most to them and what they want to achieve. When you do this you leave your destination entirely to chance. Know what you stand for and don't let anyone get in the way of that.
2. Make a Decision - I tell all the people I speak to who want to try a marathon the same thing; running a marathon is just putting one foot in front of the other until you get to the finish line. All you have to do is decide not to quit until you finish. Sound simple? It is. And it's a key to success. If you commit to yourself that you won't stop until you realize your goals, then you stand a MUCH higher chance of achieving them.
3. Find Your Why - Many people can't tell you why they do what they do. That's sad, and counterproductive. To succeed at the highest level you have to to have a "why". You need to know exactly why you do what you do. What is your motive? Is it a strong one? If you go to work just to make money and pay bills, you'll never be as successful and valuable as the employee who goes to work because they want to make a difference, because they genuinely care about their customer, or because they see it as they calling. Find your why, and suddenly being tough won't be so... well... tough:)
Monday, November 29, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
Where Have You Been?
It's been said that you can never know where you're going until you truly know where you've been. Unfortunately, many of us are so focused on moving forward and setting new goals, that we forget to take the time to assess where we've been. Assessment is a critical part of any goal-setting plan. Taking the time to figure out which goals you've accomplished, which goals you've failed to accomplish, and which ones you totally forgot about or took no action on at all, is crucial.
When you examine the goals that you haven't accomplished it can give you an excellent indication of what your weaknesses are and where you may be tripping up on the road to achieving your dreams. If, for example, you look at your failed goals and realize they were all too aggressive for the amount of time you had to dedicate to them, then perhaps you can re-adjust the way you set your goals or find more time to work on them. If you look at what you HAVE accomplished and notice a common thread among all of those goals, it may give you a better indication of where your strengths lie and what your objectives should be.
So I challenge you this week to make an extensive evaluation of 2010. Make a list of all of the things that you've accomplished. Now make a list of all of the things that you haven't accomplished but planned to. What do the items in each list have in common? What can you learn about yourself but examining both lists?
Once you've completed an honest and thorough self assessment, you will be ready for the next step in the process which we'll tackle next week or perhaps a few weeks after that, how to take your assessment and use it to create a powerful self-growth plan for 2011.
Good luck!
When you examine the goals that you haven't accomplished it can give you an excellent indication of what your weaknesses are and where you may be tripping up on the road to achieving your dreams. If, for example, you look at your failed goals and realize they were all too aggressive for the amount of time you had to dedicate to them, then perhaps you can re-adjust the way you set your goals or find more time to work on them. If you look at what you HAVE accomplished and notice a common thread among all of those goals, it may give you a better indication of where your strengths lie and what your objectives should be.
So I challenge you this week to make an extensive evaluation of 2010. Make a list of all of the things that you've accomplished. Now make a list of all of the things that you haven't accomplished but planned to. What do the items in each list have in common? What can you learn about yourself but examining both lists?
Once you've completed an honest and thorough self assessment, you will be ready for the next step in the process which we'll tackle next week or perhaps a few weeks after that, how to take your assessment and use it to create a powerful self-growth plan for 2011.
Good luck!
Monday, November 15, 2010
How About a Little GOOD News?!
When was the last time you listened to the news and heard nothing but positive stories? Are you done laughing now? What's that, you've never heard a news broadcast with nothing but good news? Me either. The idea probably sounds ridiculous doesn't it? So what about this question, 'when was the last time you listened to a news report with nothing but negative news?' A little easier to remember a time like that?
This morning I turned on the radio, as I do every morning, and the lead story was about a horrible accident. A freak natural gas explosion on a resort in Mexico had killed 7 people. One of them a child. Five of them Canadian. Sad story. My question is this, 'should this be lead story on the local radio news in New Brunswick?' I can remember back during the great H1N1 scare of last winter, hearing lead stories here in NB about 1 person dying in Mexico, or France or Russia. Again, my question is, 'should this be leading news in NB, Canada?' It seems to me that sometimes news outlets are so desperate to find some tragedy to talk about that they'll literally go to the other side of the world to find one! How messed up is that?
Let me be clear. I'm not suggesting that we stick our heads in the sand, pretend that nothing bad ever happens and report only happy, smiley news stories. But I would like to see some reason and balance. We are bombarded with negative news everyday. Is it any wonder that so many people struggle with pessimism and cynicism?
Twenty years ago this wasn't much of an issue. The news came on once a night, you watched or listened and knew what was going on without having to endure the horrors of the world multiple times. But in today's 24hr news cycle, with CNN running 24/7, you don't just hear bad news, if you choose, you can hear, read, see bad news constantly and multiple times over each day.
I encourage you to watch what you're watching. Monitor how much you expose yourself to the negative news around you, and don't let too much of the negativity into your head. Again, I don't want you to think that I'm advocating the life of a hermit. Nothing would ever improve in the world if those who cared to make it better stuck their heads in the sand and pretended nothing needed changing. However, we need not overwhelm ourselves with constant exposure to negativity either.
Studying the worlds most successful people, I've learned that many of them have a practice of listening to motivational/personal development CD's or Books on CD when driving in the car or at home, rather than listening to the news or the radio. What would happen to your life if you were constantly inputting positive thoughts and inspiring ideas in your head rather than the negative news?
Try it this week and see what happens? My guess is, you'll never go back to the old way again!
This morning I turned on the radio, as I do every morning, and the lead story was about a horrible accident. A freak natural gas explosion on a resort in Mexico had killed 7 people. One of them a child. Five of them Canadian. Sad story. My question is this, 'should this be lead story on the local radio news in New Brunswick?' I can remember back during the great H1N1 scare of last winter, hearing lead stories here in NB about 1 person dying in Mexico, or France or Russia. Again, my question is, 'should this be leading news in NB, Canada?' It seems to me that sometimes news outlets are so desperate to find some tragedy to talk about that they'll literally go to the other side of the world to find one! How messed up is that?
Let me be clear. I'm not suggesting that we stick our heads in the sand, pretend that nothing bad ever happens and report only happy, smiley news stories. But I would like to see some reason and balance. We are bombarded with negative news everyday. Is it any wonder that so many people struggle with pessimism and cynicism?
Twenty years ago this wasn't much of an issue. The news came on once a night, you watched or listened and knew what was going on without having to endure the horrors of the world multiple times. But in today's 24hr news cycle, with CNN running 24/7, you don't just hear bad news, if you choose, you can hear, read, see bad news constantly and multiple times over each day.
I encourage you to watch what you're watching. Monitor how much you expose yourself to the negative news around you, and don't let too much of the negativity into your head. Again, I don't want you to think that I'm advocating the life of a hermit. Nothing would ever improve in the world if those who cared to make it better stuck their heads in the sand and pretended nothing needed changing. However, we need not overwhelm ourselves with constant exposure to negativity either.
Studying the worlds most successful people, I've learned that many of them have a practice of listening to motivational/personal development CD's or Books on CD when driving in the car or at home, rather than listening to the news or the radio. What would happen to your life if you were constantly inputting positive thoughts and inspiring ideas in your head rather than the negative news?
Try it this week and see what happens? My guess is, you'll never go back to the old way again!
Monday, November 01, 2010
If you Believe It You can Achieve It
There are few universal truths in life but this is one of them. I firmly believe that there is nothing that you can’t achieve if you completely believe that you can do it. What is equally true, and evident in the lives of far too many people is, “If you can’t believe it, you won’t achieve it.” In other words, it has to be true in your mind and your heart before it can come true in your life.
Belief is a powerful thing. It is much different from hoping, dreaming or wishing. Believing you can do something means that you know you can do it. You may not know how you’re going to do it, or when, but you know in your heart that you can make it happen. What do you believe you are capable of?
When I was first listed for my transplant, I had a meeting with the head of the transplant team. During the meeting he explained how the transplant process worked. He made sure that I fully understood all of the risks involved in the surgery. He said that if everything went as it should, that I should be able to go back to work part-time someday. That was his ultimate goal for me.
If I had suggested that not only would I return to work, but that I would start my own business as a speaker, travel all over North America helping people realize their potential, I’d write a book, and that I’d run three marathons, he would never have believed me. I shudder to think today where I would be in my life if I had lived within the confines of my doctor’s expectations. I know they were only trying to prepare me for every possibility; but if I had not decided that I was going to expect more from myself than they did, I would never have achieved half of what I have. Expect more from yourself than anyone else does.
If you have people in your life who impose limiting expectations on you, you must have the courage to politely listen, and then ignore them. It doesn’t mean you have to shut these people out of your life, just don’t let them impose their limiting attitude on you.
So many of us will never achieve half of what we could because deep down, we don’t really believe that our goals are attainable or that we’re worthy of the great things in life. We’ve bought into the lie that most of us are just ordinary folks who should only do ordinary things, work at ordinary jobs and make ordinary money. There’s nothing wrong with that. But if you want more, and you believe that you can do more, there is nothing to stop you… except you.
In order to achieve everything you are capable of, you must believe that it is possible and chances are good that, because of the negative messages you’ve received throughout your life from the world around you, you don’t believe you’re capable of much. This week I want to challenge you to reconsider your potential.
Action Item
Consider this week what you believe is possible for you and your life. Take a moment here and write down the goals that you believe in your heart you can achieve:
You will never achieve something that you believe to be impossible but you can certainly achieve something that OTHERS think is impossible. So start focusing on what you want to achieve with the mindset that it is possible.
Belief is a powerful thing. It is much different from hoping, dreaming or wishing. Believing you can do something means that you know you can do it. You may not know how you’re going to do it, or when, but you know in your heart that you can make it happen. What do you believe you are capable of?
When I was first listed for my transplant, I had a meeting with the head of the transplant team. During the meeting he explained how the transplant process worked. He made sure that I fully understood all of the risks involved in the surgery. He said that if everything went as it should, that I should be able to go back to work part-time someday. That was his ultimate goal for me.
If I had suggested that not only would I return to work, but that I would start my own business as a speaker, travel all over North America helping people realize their potential, I’d write a book, and that I’d run three marathons, he would never have believed me. I shudder to think today where I would be in my life if I had lived within the confines of my doctor’s expectations. I know they were only trying to prepare me for every possibility; but if I had not decided that I was going to expect more from myself than they did, I would never have achieved half of what I have. Expect more from yourself than anyone else does.
If you have people in your life who impose limiting expectations on you, you must have the courage to politely listen, and then ignore them. It doesn’t mean you have to shut these people out of your life, just don’t let them impose their limiting attitude on you.
So many of us will never achieve half of what we could because deep down, we don’t really believe that our goals are attainable or that we’re worthy of the great things in life. We’ve bought into the lie that most of us are just ordinary folks who should only do ordinary things, work at ordinary jobs and make ordinary money. There’s nothing wrong with that. But if you want more, and you believe that you can do more, there is nothing to stop you… except you.
In order to achieve everything you are capable of, you must believe that it is possible and chances are good that, because of the negative messages you’ve received throughout your life from the world around you, you don’t believe you’re capable of much. This week I want to challenge you to reconsider your potential.
Action Item
Consider this week what you believe is possible for you and your life. Take a moment here and write down the goals that you believe in your heart you can achieve:
You will never achieve something that you believe to be impossible but you can certainly achieve something that OTHERS think is impossible. So start focusing on what you want to achieve with the mindset that it is possible.
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