Help Others to Help You Succeed

"You can have everything you want in life if you just help enough other people get what they want" - Zig Ziglar

Most people mistakenly believe that the biggest obstacles to their success are external circumstances. What successful people understand is that, while external circumstances can make success more difficult, if you're willing to work hard enough and collaborate effectively, you can succeed in any circumstances.

If you've been watching the news at all in the last year or two, you know it's been impossible to avoid the doom and gloom news about the economy. It's everywhere. Now first let me saw that I don't for a minute want to trivialize the significant impact the economy has had on the lives of many people. The issues created by our struggling economy are real and they create real consequences. However, in situations like this, it can become all too easy to use circumstances as an excuse not to achieve at the levels we should. What successful people realize is that you must take responsibility for your success and commit to realize your potential no matter what. No matter what the circumstances are, there are always companies who succeed. Those who succeed no matter what, are those who understand today's success principal: if you help enough other people succeed, you increase the odds that you'll succeed as well.

So, how can you help other people and how can you make it easier for them to help you? The specifics will depend on your career and what you're trying to achieve, but there are some general principals that apply to everyone. The first of these is that you have to learn to swallow your pride. Too many people think that real success is a D-I-Y project. We love to be independent and self-sufficient. What we have to accept, is that successful people are great collaborators. They know how to allow others to support them and help them succeed. Once we get passed our egos, we still have to learn how to make it easy for others to help us succeed.

Here are a few ways that you can help others to succeed:

• Recommend products and services that you have benefited from - Most companies become a success at least in part, because of the recommendations of their best customers
• Help people connect - If you know two people who may be able to benefit from each others' services, put them in touch with each other. They'll both benefit and they'll both appreciate the effort you made to help them
• Complain if you don't receive the product or service you expect - While no one enjoys listening to complaints, smart companies actually appreciate constructive complaints because it helps them discover weaknesses and improve.
  

Here are just a few of the things you can do to make it easy for others to help you:

• Always carry your business cards (I know this is obvious, but it's also critical)
• Write thank you notes to anyone who helps you with anything
  
• Meet as many people as you can and be sure they know what you do and how you can help them realize their goals
  
• Provide value to others. The more you help others to achieve their goals, the more they'll want to help you to achieve yours.

So go out today and help someone else to succeed. Then do it again tomorrow. Continue until you achieve all of your goals:)

To your success,
Mark

Re-Discovering and Joy and Happiness in Your LIfe - PART 2

In my last blog post, I talked about three ways that each of us can re-discover the joy and happiness in our lives that too many people have forgotten. In this post, I'll outline two more ways that we can all be joyful and happy in our lives.

4. Be Happy Where You Are

Most of us tend to think that we could be happy IF this or that happened. If only, we think, I had the right job, the right house, the right spouse, etc.. then I'd be happy. On the surface, this seems logical. Our circumstances seem to be the source of our UN-happiness, so if we could change our circumstances, then we could be happier. Right? Maybe for a little while. But as anyone who has won the lottery or landed their dream job will tell you, even the joy and happiness from significantly positive life circumstances fades rather quickly. In fact, surveys have been done with lottery winners that show their level of happiness returns back to the same level it was at before they won the lottery is a very short period of time.

So, one the major secrets to happiness is to realize that if you aren't happy where you are now, you aren't likely to be able to be happy someone else either. So stop chasing after the next great thing that is going to make you happy and work on learning to be happy where you are. Happiness is not a matter or circumstance, it's a matter of choice.

5. Give it Away

One of the biggest obstacles to authentic happiness is selfishness and self-obsession. When we turn in too much on ourselves it become virtually impossible to find happiness. So if you're in a funk, depressed and otherwise unhappy, instead of focussing on how you can make yourself happier, find a way to bring joy to someone else. Volunteer at a senior's centre, visit an old friend, spend time with your kids doing things they want to do. What I believe you'll discover is that the surest path to authentic happiness and joy and service.

One of my favourite quotes comes from Zig Zigglar, famous motivational speaker, who said, “You can have everything in life that you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.” So go out there and bring joy and happiness to as many other people as you can. Then look in the mirror and watch the smile appear on your face:)

Re-Discovering JOY and HAPPINESS in Your Life PART 1

"Joy doesn't simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day." Fr. Henri Nouwen

Are you happy? Do you have joy in your life? Are you excited to wake up in the morning? I hope the answer is an emphatic YES. But if not, I hope this article will help.

Let me start by telling you one thing I know for sure; you deserve to be happy. We all do. It's the most basic human rights. I've gone through periods in my life where I've struggled to be happy. I've also had struggles with my worthiness to be happy. Who am I to think that I deserve happiness? Why should I be happy when others are not? Why should I enjoy life when others don't? These were all questions I've struggled to deal with at one time or another. Here are my answers. I hope they help you to realize that you DO deserve happiness and joy, and you can have it, now. Over the next few days we're going to look at some ways that you can re-learn how to be joyful and happy in your life. Here now, are the first three tips. I hope that they help you.

1. Change Your Definition of Happiness: For many in today's consumerist culture, happiness is overly (and sometimes completely) dependent on circumstances. We mistake happiness for pleasure. Happiness means only times when we're celebrating, partying, doing what we want etc. Happiness only comes then if we have everything we want (not need, but want), have lots of money, work we enjoy and can do as we please, we're happy. The problem with this type of happiness is that it is almost completely out of our control. When we leave our happiness up to outside circumstances, we lose our ability to be happy whenever we want to be. We can only be happy when everything is "just right".

So I challenge you to change your definition of what happiness means. To me, happiness comes from: enjoying the gifts in my life (for however long I have them); appreciating beauty all around me (my family, nature, etc); sharing joy with others (bringing a smile to someone else is a great source of happiness to me and you can do it any time); and using my gifts and abilities as best as I can to make a positive contribution to the world.

2. Decide to be Happy - This may sound overly simplistic, and it is. And I will grant you that it isn't always quite this easy. If you are suffering from depression or some other emotional/mental condition, then it will take more than a decision. It may even take help from a professional (and if you feel like you can't ever be happy, I encourage you to get help today). But for those who just feel like they want more authentic, lasting, happiness in their lives, think about this, the only person who can control whether or not you are happy, is YOU.

While the actions of others and our actions in the world have an impact, no one else, not even God, can make us happy without our cooperation. So make a decision today and every day to be happy. It may take work at first, but it can be done.

3. Appreciate the Joys All Around You - Human nature predisposes all of us to take the familiar for granted. It's not our fault, we're wired that way. But that doesn't mean we can't work at better appreciating life's everyday special gifts. Sarah McLachlan wrote a great a song called "Ordinary Miracles" that demonstrates the point beautifully. One of my favourite lyrics is: "The sky knows when it's time to snow, don't need to teach a seed to grow, it's just another ordinary miracle".

Miracles, wonderful things (things that should inspire wonder and awe), happen around us every day. The human heart beats over 35 MILLION times a year. Steadily, perfectly, without fail. It's amazing when you think about it. But most of us don't. That is, until it stops working properly. Sadly, for too many of us, it takes the loss of something before we truly appreciate what we have.

So challenge yourself each day to find something to appreciate. Big, grand things are fine, but look for the special little everyday miracles too. They're all around you.

Conclusion:
So that's it for now. Three quick tips that will hopefully help you re-discover joy and happiness in your life. I hope you'll begin to look at your life in a new way and appreciate more of the "ordinary miracles" in your life today.