This week we were blessed to welcome our new son "Matteo" into the world. At just over 7lbs at birth and now a little lighter than that, he has reminded me about the importance of the "little things" in life. When it comes right down to it, most of the important things in life are the little things. Yes your wedding day, the birth of a child, the big promotion, can all be major days in your life and provide lots of great memories. But the quality of your life isn't determined so much by those few great "big" moments, as much as it is by the accumulation of all of the amazing little ones.
The same is also true in the business world. While the major decisions you make are important, the success you have will be determined more by the multitude of small actions - the little things - that you do each day, each week, and each month, that accumulate to shape your destiny.
This is a critical concept to understand because it can be easy to miss. Many of us fall into the trap of focusing so hard on the few milestone moments in our lives that we gloss over the multitude of little moments and small decisions we make where the difference is really made.
So this week I encourage you to become more aware of the many wonderful little things in your life and appreciate them. I also want you to take a look at how you manage your days to see how you are using those little things you do each day. Are you executing them at 100%? Are you giving them the attention they require? If not, start. This is where success is gained or lost.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Tuesday, May 03, 2011
Taking Responsibility
Well it's the day after the election for us Canadians today and whether you are happy with the results or not, no one can deny it was one of the most interesting elections in a long time. Contrary to what many thought (myself included) a few weeks ago, the results of the election left us with a MUCH different political picture than we had before. Now the question is, where do we go from here as a country and a government?
The next six months will be a great test for Mr. Harper and his government. Will they live up to the promises they've made? Will they do what they said they would do? Will they take responsibility? Only time will tell. I sure hope so.
The same test applies to our next official opposition party the NDP. One of the criticisms of the NDP and Mr. Layton that I've heard again and again was that they could make any promises they wanted to because we all knew they'd never have to live up to them because they were a "3rd place party". Well that has changed. While they aren't the governing party, they do have SOME power now and it will be interesting to see if they will hold true to what they've stood for in during the campaign. Both parties have will have to step up the plate and take responsibility for the promises they have made over the last five weeks if they expect to maintain voter respect and confidence. But the politicians aren't the only ones who will have to take responsibility...
Now it is time for every citizen of voting age to take responsibility for his or her choices yesterday as well. Typically, the week after an election is the time when people like to gripe and complain about the results. No matter what the results, it seems there are always some who can find a reason to complain. My challenge to everyone; take responsibility for your choices and actions yesterday. But, what does that mean?
1. If you didn't vote, don't complain. Far too many think of voting as a right rather than a privilege. People are dying all over the world fighting for the opportunity to vote. We should never take that right for granted. But if you didn't take the time to vote yesterday then, in my mind, you don't really have a right to complain about the results.
2. If you voted for the winning party, congratulations. Now your job is to hold your representatives' feet to the fire. Make sure that they follow through on what they said they would do.
3. If you voted for one of the parties who did not win, you still have role to play. Mourn for a day or two if you must, but then get involved in the process. If your party needs help to attract more voters, share it's platform etc. help them out. Be a part of the process. You can't criticize your party's failure to win if you did nothing to help them.
Let's all step up and realize that no matter who is "in power" in this country, as long as we are a democracy (and thank God that we are) as citizens we all have the right, and the responsibility, to make sure that our representatives actually represent our interests and concerns.
The next six months will be a great test for Mr. Harper and his government. Will they live up to the promises they've made? Will they do what they said they would do? Will they take responsibility? Only time will tell. I sure hope so.
The same test applies to our next official opposition party the NDP. One of the criticisms of the NDP and Mr. Layton that I've heard again and again was that they could make any promises they wanted to because we all knew they'd never have to live up to them because they were a "3rd place party". Well that has changed. While they aren't the governing party, they do have SOME power now and it will be interesting to see if they will hold true to what they've stood for in during the campaign. Both parties have will have to step up the plate and take responsibility for the promises they have made over the last five weeks if they expect to maintain voter respect and confidence. But the politicians aren't the only ones who will have to take responsibility...
Now it is time for every citizen of voting age to take responsibility for his or her choices yesterday as well. Typically, the week after an election is the time when people like to gripe and complain about the results. No matter what the results, it seems there are always some who can find a reason to complain. My challenge to everyone; take responsibility for your choices and actions yesterday. But, what does that mean?
1. If you didn't vote, don't complain. Far too many think of voting as a right rather than a privilege. People are dying all over the world fighting for the opportunity to vote. We should never take that right for granted. But if you didn't take the time to vote yesterday then, in my mind, you don't really have a right to complain about the results.
2. If you voted for the winning party, congratulations. Now your job is to hold your representatives' feet to the fire. Make sure that they follow through on what they said they would do.
3. If you voted for one of the parties who did not win, you still have role to play. Mourn for a day or two if you must, but then get involved in the process. If your party needs help to attract more voters, share it's platform etc. help them out. Be a part of the process. You can't criticize your party's failure to win if you did nothing to help them.
Let's all step up and realize that no matter who is "in power" in this country, as long as we are a democracy (and thank God that we are) as citizens we all have the right, and the responsibility, to make sure that our representatives actually represent our interests and concerns.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
What Are You Spending Your Time Thinking About?
It's April 26th, 2011. As we speak there are wars for freedom and democracy raging in several parts of the world, not to mention a war in Afghanistan where our troops have been dying for almost a decade now, a war in Iraq and in this part of the world, a federal election looming in little more than a week. What was the number one news story on the radio today? The wedding of two people half a world away with little or no connection to our part of the world. I have just one question;
What in the world is going on?So what does this have to do with you and your success? Lots. What are you spending the greater part of your energy, time and resources on? What do you think about most often? Are you focused on your goals and dreams and how you plan to achieve them, or are you bogged down with the details of life, or worse, with frivolous things like the wedding of Will and Kate?
Now let me just state for the record, that I have nothing against the royal family or Will and Kate. I wish them all the best of life and happiness and hope their wedding is all they hope it will be. My point is not that there is anything wrong with being interested in the royal family per se, Where there IS something wrong, is when we let distractions to get in the way of what really matters.
The amount of time, energy and money that has gone into reporting, analyzing every details of this event is ridiculous. I have the tv on as I write this and in the time since I started writing this blog (about 20mins) there has been a commercial for: the Will and Kate movie, a special on Kate's dress and another one on the menu of the big day. In 20 MINUTES! Is this really what matters most to people right now?
The truth, of course, is no it isn't. There are dozens if not hundreds, of things more important to joe average right now, especially in light of all of the others issues our world is facing, and yet, many people will be taking time out of their lives on Friday to watch this ceremony. The important issue here isn't the wedding itself, but WHY so many people are being taken in by it?
Why do we care?
For some people, taking time out of life for things like the royal wedding is just a matter of curiosity, and there's nothing really wrong with that as long as you don't spend too much time on it. But for many, this is just one, in a line, of distractions used to avoid dealing with real life. And that is dangerous.
Why do you think most people fail to achieve what they want from their lives? It's not because they lack the talent, skill or desire. It's because they lose focus. Most of us start with great goals and plans for our lives, but then life gets in the way. We have to work, make meals, do laundry, pay bills, prepare meals, care for our family and then we get home at the end of the day and are too tired to focus on anything but watching some tv and going to bed. So where is the time to focus on our goals and work toward a better future? There isn't any... or is there?
If you aren't where you want to be in your life right now and think you have no time to get there, ask yourself the following questions:
Why do you think most people fail to achieve what they want from their lives? It's not because they lack the talent, skill or desire. It's because they lose focus. Most of us start with great goals and plans for our lives, but then life gets in the way. We have to work, make meals, do laundry, pay bills, prepare meals, care for our family and then we get home at the end of the day and are too tired to focus on anything but watching some tv and going to bed. So where is the time to focus on our goals and work toward a better future? There isn't any... or is there?
If you aren't where you want to be in your life right now and think you have no time to get there, ask yourself the following questions:
- How many hours do I spend watching tv each day? (Keep track for a week. It might scare you)
- How many hours do I sleep? (You may not be getting enough, but you may also be getting more than you need. Most people only need 7hrs/night)
I'm trying to have patience with this. I understand that people ar
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
The Power of a Mentor
Do you have a mentor? A coach? Who do you have helping guide you on the path to success?
For far too many people, the answers to those questions are "No", "No" and "Nobody". And that's too bad. Unfortunately, far too many people never get any help at all on their journey to success. They think they are supposed to have all of the answers. They assume that once we get to a certain age we're supposed to have life all figured out so there should be no need for guidance from someone else. What those who are most successful understand, is that nothing could be further from the truth.
What do Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky and Tiger Woods all have in common? Firstly they are all arguably the greatest athletes to ever play their respective sports. Secondly, they all had trusted coaches. Many make the mistake of assuming that people like these would have no need for a coach. After all, if you are the best to ever play your sport, obviously a coach, no matter how good, can't be better at the sport than you are, so what can you possibly learn from him or her?
That's exactly the wrong approach. What a coach can do better than anyone, is see what you can't see. They can spot where you are falling down, where you are weak and what you can do to improve. Because they are removed from the situation and have a view that you don't, they can help you spot small issues and tell you how to make a change that can make a dramatic difference.
The other thing that a trusted coach or advisor can provide, is an accountability partner. Someone who will hold you to what you say you are going to do. That is critical because one of the biggest reasons people don't achieve their goals and dreams, is not because they don't know what to do or how to do it, it's that they just don't do it. The intend to, but they don't. If you have coach or advisor who can check in with you and say "hey did you do what you said you were going to do last week?" it forces you to be accountable and take action. When we take ACTION we can really start to improve our lives.
So find a coach. Get an advisor. Find an accountability partner. It can be someone you hire, but it doesn't have to be. Find someone who you respect and admire who has achieved some of the things you want to achieve and see if they would be willing to guide you. After a few months working with a mentor or coach, you will begin to see dramatic changes in your life.
For far too many people, the answers to those questions are "No", "No" and "Nobody". And that's too bad. Unfortunately, far too many people never get any help at all on their journey to success. They think they are supposed to have all of the answers. They assume that once we get to a certain age we're supposed to have life all figured out so there should be no need for guidance from someone else. What those who are most successful understand, is that nothing could be further from the truth.
What do Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky and Tiger Woods all have in common? Firstly they are all arguably the greatest athletes to ever play their respective sports. Secondly, they all had trusted coaches. Many make the mistake of assuming that people like these would have no need for a coach. After all, if you are the best to ever play your sport, obviously a coach, no matter how good, can't be better at the sport than you are, so what can you possibly learn from him or her?
That's exactly the wrong approach. What a coach can do better than anyone, is see what you can't see. They can spot where you are falling down, where you are weak and what you can do to improve. Because they are removed from the situation and have a view that you don't, they can help you spot small issues and tell you how to make a change that can make a dramatic difference.
The other thing that a trusted coach or advisor can provide, is an accountability partner. Someone who will hold you to what you say you are going to do. That is critical because one of the biggest reasons people don't achieve their goals and dreams, is not because they don't know what to do or how to do it, it's that they just don't do it. The intend to, but they don't. If you have coach or advisor who can check in with you and say "hey did you do what you said you were going to do last week?" it forces you to be accountable and take action. When we take ACTION we can really start to improve our lives.
So find a coach. Get an advisor. Find an accountability partner. It can be someone you hire, but it doesn't have to be. Find someone who you respect and admire who has achieved some of the things you want to achieve and see if they would be willing to guide you. After a few months working with a mentor or coach, you will begin to see dramatic changes in your life.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Open letter to anyone being bullied:
There is a new movement afoot in schools across the region to combat the growing problem of bullying. If you watch the news, and do a little research, you learn that bullying is being blamed for increasing numbers of suicides and other mental heath issues among young people. And before we continue, let me state for the record that I understand and acknowledge that bullying is a very real problem and that there are many legitimate cases of real suffering because of it. I write this piece in the hopes that I can help many of those "sufferers" by changing how they look at their situation.
Where I live, the tactic to fight this problem is a campaign built around the phrase, "if it hurts, it's wrong". The premise being that bullying is anything that makes someone else hurt in any way whether physical, mental or emotional.On the surface, I have no problem with this idea. Certainly people have a right to be respected and to feel safe and nurtured in their school. No child should have to go to school afraid. That said, to me, the focus of this campaign is all wrong.
The phrase "if it hurts, it's wrong" sends the message to many students that anything that bothers you, or anything you don't like, is bullying. In other words, if people don't say and do exactly what you'd like them to, they are wrong. The problems with this are pretty obvious I think. The worlds certainly doesn't work this way. So children who believe it will one day come a to a pretty dude awakening. The bigger issue though is that when interpreted that way, the phrase "if it hurts it's wrong" focuses too much attention on the bully than on empowering the "victim".
I was "bullied" if you want to call it that, most of my life. I'm 4'11" as an adult. In school I was even smaller. And so, I was often the subject of teasing and mockery. People made fun of my size constantly. But my parents, who are wise in ways I'm only now beginning to appreciate, did the best thing they could for their young son. They didn't teach him to tell the teacher when someone bothered him. They didn't enroll me in self-defense classes. They didn't teach me that I was a victim. They taught me to ignore anyone who's opinion didn't matter to me. They taught me to be secure in who I was. They taught me that I had value no matter what I looked like. And so I came to learn that a bully could say whatever they wanted to, but they couldn't bother me, unless I let them. As Eleanor Rooseveldt put it, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." When I learned that lesson, bullies became irrelevant. They weren't able to "get to me". And once they couldn't illicit the response from me that they were seeking, they moved on. A bully who can't make you scared, get's bored, and gives up. They feed on fear. Without it, they starve. The fact is, other people might be able to do things to protect us in certain situations from physical danger, no one can stop someone from bullying you except you. The good news, no one can bully you successfully unless you LET them.
So I want to tell every student and parent of a student who is being "bullied" out there right now, "take your power back". If someone is picking on you right now, talking bad about you, making your life miserable, don't feed the beast. Don't buy into it. Don't give the bully, or those they associate with to determine how you feel about yourself. If you are real, physical, danger, than PLEASE go tell someone and get help. If the police need to be involved, do that. Don't endanger yourself for the sake of being "tough". But if not, then there are two powerful things you can do right now to stop the bullies: 1) Be secure in who you are and the fact that you are valuable. If you KNOW that at the core of your soul, then no amount of abuse can break you. 2) Ignore those who are picking on you. Bullies do what they do to get a reaction. They want to see you get upset, the want to see you cry. They get a sick charge out of that. If you don't give them the reaction they want, eventually they'll move on. They'll get bored. And once that happens, you'll know that you have nothing to be afraid of anymore. You'll know that whatever comes your way, you can handle it. And when you have that feeling, nothing can stop you!
Where I live, the tactic to fight this problem is a campaign built around the phrase, "if it hurts, it's wrong". The premise being that bullying is anything that makes someone else hurt in any way whether physical, mental or emotional.On the surface, I have no problem with this idea. Certainly people have a right to be respected and to feel safe and nurtured in their school. No child should have to go to school afraid. That said, to me, the focus of this campaign is all wrong.
The phrase "if it hurts, it's wrong" sends the message to many students that anything that bothers you, or anything you don't like, is bullying. In other words, if people don't say and do exactly what you'd like them to, they are wrong. The problems with this are pretty obvious I think. The worlds certainly doesn't work this way. So children who believe it will one day come a to a pretty dude awakening. The bigger issue though is that when interpreted that way, the phrase "if it hurts it's wrong" focuses too much attention on the bully than on empowering the "victim".
I was "bullied" if you want to call it that, most of my life. I'm 4'11" as an adult. In school I was even smaller. And so, I was often the subject of teasing and mockery. People made fun of my size constantly. But my parents, who are wise in ways I'm only now beginning to appreciate, did the best thing they could for their young son. They didn't teach him to tell the teacher when someone bothered him. They didn't enroll me in self-defense classes. They didn't teach me that I was a victim. They taught me to ignore anyone who's opinion didn't matter to me. They taught me to be secure in who I was. They taught me that I had value no matter what I looked like. And so I came to learn that a bully could say whatever they wanted to, but they couldn't bother me, unless I let them. As Eleanor Rooseveldt put it, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." When I learned that lesson, bullies became irrelevant. They weren't able to "get to me". And once they couldn't illicit the response from me that they were seeking, they moved on. A bully who can't make you scared, get's bored, and gives up. They feed on fear. Without it, they starve. The fact is, other people might be able to do things to protect us in certain situations from physical danger, no one can stop someone from bullying you except you. The good news, no one can bully you successfully unless you LET them.
So I want to tell every student and parent of a student who is being "bullied" out there right now, "take your power back". If someone is picking on you right now, talking bad about you, making your life miserable, don't feed the beast. Don't buy into it. Don't give the bully, or those they associate with to determine how you feel about yourself. If you are real, physical, danger, than PLEASE go tell someone and get help. If the police need to be involved, do that. Don't endanger yourself for the sake of being "tough". But if not, then there are two powerful things you can do right now to stop the bullies: 1) Be secure in who you are and the fact that you are valuable. If you KNOW that at the core of your soul, then no amount of abuse can break you. 2) Ignore those who are picking on you. Bullies do what they do to get a reaction. They want to see you get upset, the want to see you cry. They get a sick charge out of that. If you don't give them the reaction they want, eventually they'll move on. They'll get bored. And once that happens, you'll know that you have nothing to be afraid of anymore. You'll know that whatever comes your way, you can handle it. And when you have that feeling, nothing can stop you!
Suck it Up Princess
The title of this article is a phrase my friends and I used often with each other throughout our college years. When someone was whining and complaining about an assignment they had to do, an exam they had to prepare for, or any other work that they wanted to postpone, our "caring" and "loving" response was most often "suck it up princess".
To some that probably comes off as being a little harsh. After all, aren't friends supposed to be supportive of each other? Of course they are. And when someone really needed support and a shoulder to cry on, we were there for each other. But more often than not, a complaint to a friend about this or that isn't so much a plea for sympathy as it is a chance to vent. Most often, as people, we just want to be heard and so we would let our friends vent, and then, when they were done, we'd remind them that if they wanted things to get better, they'd better get off their butt and do something about it. They'd better, "suck it up".
Self pity is a sure road to a life of misery and lost potential. Those who fall into the trap of continuously feeling sorry for themselves will never become what they could be because they will be too focused on the dozens of reasons they have for NOT doing things. The fact is, we all have dozens of reasons for not becoming what we can be. Those who are able to realize their potential and make a positive contribution to the world aren't immune from the challenges of life. Those people simply make a choice not to live in a place of being a victim. They chose to suck it up and move on and I would encourage you to do the same.
I realize that to some reading this, the philosophy I'm espousing here may seem cold and unsympathetic. And if you feel that way, honestly... too bad. I AM unsympathetic in many ways to the complaints and "trials" of many people. I am NOT unsympathetic to those with legitimate trials and challenges in life. And there are many who fall into this category. If you are battling a chronic illness, have severe financial struggles or are dealing with death, depression or some other significant loss, than my heart truly does go out to you. But for those with complaints that: "the economy is too tough for me to succeed", "that it's just to hard to eat right and take care of myself", that "I'm too busy to find time to spend with those I love", that "the world just isn't fair and everyone is out to get me", I have just three words: "suck. it. up."
If you want to be what you can, and ultimately were meant, to be in this world, then you have to get tough. You have to become unwilling to bow to the pressure and not allow yourself to wallow in self-pity and excuses and instead, suck it up, move on, and get about the business of living life.
To some that probably comes off as being a little harsh. After all, aren't friends supposed to be supportive of each other? Of course they are. And when someone really needed support and a shoulder to cry on, we were there for each other. But more often than not, a complaint to a friend about this or that isn't so much a plea for sympathy as it is a chance to vent. Most often, as people, we just want to be heard and so we would let our friends vent, and then, when they were done, we'd remind them that if they wanted things to get better, they'd better get off their butt and do something about it. They'd better, "suck it up".
Self pity is a sure road to a life of misery and lost potential. Those who fall into the trap of continuously feeling sorry for themselves will never become what they could be because they will be too focused on the dozens of reasons they have for NOT doing things. The fact is, we all have dozens of reasons for not becoming what we can be. Those who are able to realize their potential and make a positive contribution to the world aren't immune from the challenges of life. Those people simply make a choice not to live in a place of being a victim. They chose to suck it up and move on and I would encourage you to do the same.
I realize that to some reading this, the philosophy I'm espousing here may seem cold and unsympathetic. And if you feel that way, honestly... too bad. I AM unsympathetic in many ways to the complaints and "trials" of many people. I am NOT unsympathetic to those with legitimate trials and challenges in life. And there are many who fall into this category. If you are battling a chronic illness, have severe financial struggles or are dealing with death, depression or some other significant loss, than my heart truly does go out to you. But for those with complaints that: "the economy is too tough for me to succeed", "that it's just to hard to eat right and take care of myself", that "I'm too busy to find time to spend with those I love", that "the world just isn't fair and everyone is out to get me", I have just three words: "suck. it. up."
If you want to be what you can, and ultimately were meant, to be in this world, then you have to get tough. You have to become unwilling to bow to the pressure and not allow yourself to wallow in self-pity and excuses and instead, suck it up, move on, and get about the business of living life.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Mark Black wants you to join foursquare!
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Monday, February 28, 2011
Quitters Quit, Winners Don't
In hundreds of presentations across North America, I have made an assertion that many would challenge, but I stand by it today as strongly as the first day I made it: no one in the history of human events has ever failed.
It's not hard to read that statement and think that I'm either a naive fool or just not very bright:) While the latter may be true, if you allow me to clarify the statement, I think it will make perfect sense. I don't believe that anyone in the history of human events has ever failed. Those who didn't succeed just gave up, before the realized their goals.
The principal here is two fold. Firstly, it is rare that if you are truly willing to work at something until it happens that it won't eventually take shape. Most of us don't give our goals and dreams nearly enough effort. We set a goal, we "work" at it a few times and when it doesn't materialize, we give up or move on to something else. People will often say to me that they would love to write a book but could never do it. We yes you can. You just write and write and write until you have enough material for a book. In truth, the editing is the hardest part! People will often say the same thing to me about running a marathon, "Oh, I could never do that". My response is always, the same: "Yes you can, you just put one foot in front of the other until you get to the end."
The second part of the principal, applies those who say, "but Mark, sometimes people just fail." Again my assertion is that is impossible if you don't give up because if you refuse to give up you have already achieved a level of success. You have done what most people never do, pursue their goals with passion and dedication. That is success in itself.
So this week I challenge you to persevere. When things are looking bad, when you feel tired and aren't sure you can keep going, when it seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, just keep going. It is always darkest before the dawn. The highest mountains are preceded by the deepest valleys. If you hang in there, you will meet with success. If people knew how close they were to succeeding when they gave up, they wouldn't. Press on. And to my fellow Maritimers, the snow will melt, summer will come. As you shovel yet again tomorrow, remember, before you know it, we'll be on the beach again!
It's not hard to read that statement and think that I'm either a naive fool or just not very bright:) While the latter may be true, if you allow me to clarify the statement, I think it will make perfect sense. I don't believe that anyone in the history of human events has ever failed. Those who didn't succeed just gave up, before the realized their goals.
The principal here is two fold. Firstly, it is rare that if you are truly willing to work at something until it happens that it won't eventually take shape. Most of us don't give our goals and dreams nearly enough effort. We set a goal, we "work" at it a few times and when it doesn't materialize, we give up or move on to something else. People will often say to me that they would love to write a book but could never do it. We yes you can. You just write and write and write until you have enough material for a book. In truth, the editing is the hardest part! People will often say the same thing to me about running a marathon, "Oh, I could never do that". My response is always, the same: "Yes you can, you just put one foot in front of the other until you get to the end."
The second part of the principal, applies those who say, "but Mark, sometimes people just fail." Again my assertion is that is impossible if you don't give up because if you refuse to give up you have already achieved a level of success. You have done what most people never do, pursue their goals with passion and dedication. That is success in itself.
So this week I challenge you to persevere. When things are looking bad, when you feel tired and aren't sure you can keep going, when it seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, just keep going. It is always darkest before the dawn. The highest mountains are preceded by the deepest valleys. If you hang in there, you will meet with success. If people knew how close they were to succeeding when they gave up, they wouldn't. Press on. And to my fellow Maritimers, the snow will melt, summer will come. As you shovel yet again tomorrow, remember, before you know it, we'll be on the beach again!
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Feeling Adventurous?
Right now my wife and I are watching the season premier of "The Amazing Race" in my opinion, one of the few 'reality tv' shows worth watching. The Amazing Race teaches lessons about many life lessons including the need for teamwork, the joys of having fun, and the importance of effective communication, but the most powerful lesson I think you can learn, is the role that adventure needs to play in a successful and fulfilling life.
In the Amazing Race (for those who haven't seen the show) contestants travel to numerous countries around the world while completing various tasks as fast as they can. One of the best parts of the event is that fact that no one ever knows where they are going next. They don't know what the next day will bring, what challenges they'll face, where they'll be going, or who you will encounter. A great metaphor for life.
Far too many people live, as Thoreau once wrote, "lives of quiet desperation". Every day is like the day before. They do the same things, meet the same people, have the same conversations, over and over again. Life and the world are both too amazing to live that way.
This week I challenge you to live your life and work your jobs/businesses with a little more adventure. Take a trip to somewhere you've never been (it doesn't have to be around the world, it could be to a restaurant in your hometown you've never been t0) the point is to experience something new. Make social plans with someone from work you've never socialized with. Experience something you've never experiences before. It will enrich your life and create memories you'll be able to cherish. Hopefully it will also give you a taste of how awesome new adventures can be and encourage you to do it again.
Go out there and live the adventure!
In the Amazing Race (for those who haven't seen the show) contestants travel to numerous countries around the world while completing various tasks as fast as they can. One of the best parts of the event is that fact that no one ever knows where they are going next. They don't know what the next day will bring, what challenges they'll face, where they'll be going, or who you will encounter. A great metaphor for life.
Far too many people live, as Thoreau once wrote, "lives of quiet desperation". Every day is like the day before. They do the same things, meet the same people, have the same conversations, over and over again. Life and the world are both too amazing to live that way.
This week I challenge you to live your life and work your jobs/businesses with a little more adventure. Take a trip to somewhere you've never been (it doesn't have to be around the world, it could be to a restaurant in your hometown you've never been t0) the point is to experience something new. Make social plans with someone from work you've never socialized with. Experience something you've never experiences before. It will enrich your life and create memories you'll be able to cherish. Hopefully it will also give you a taste of how awesome new adventures can be and encourage you to do it again.
Go out there and live the adventure!
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Love is Fuel
I am called a "motivational speaker" and even though I don't really talk that much about motivation specifically, people often ask me "what is the secret to staying motivated?". Everyone wants to know what they need to do to say motivated at work, in life and in pursuit of their goals. So, what is that secret? One word... LOVE.
It's this simple:
Those who achieve the highest levels of success love what they do.
Those who have the greatest joy in life and at work, love what they do.
Those who we admire most because of their achievements, their attitude, and the difference they make in the lives of others, love what they do.
So I ask you; do you love what they do?
If you're answer is no, you now have two choices: figure out how to start loving what you do, or start doing something else. There are no other logical conclusions. And yet I know that some of you reading this right now, are working at jobs you hate. Some of you are stuck in relationships that are making you miserable. I challenge you right now, that if you are in that situation, start creating a plan for how you can change it.
Of course I wouldn't suggest that you quit your job or split up with your partner tomorrow, unless it's a real emergency. But I do want to say that life is too short not to love what you do and who you spend it with. No life is perfect, but if you love who you experience it with, and what you spend most of it doing, then you'll live a life as close to perfect as we can as human beings.
Life is meant to be loved. Create a life that you can love.
It's this simple:
Those who achieve the highest levels of success love what they do.
Those who have the greatest joy in life and at work, love what they do.
Those who we admire most because of their achievements, their attitude, and the difference they make in the lives of others, love what they do.
So I ask you; do you love what they do?
If you're answer is no, you now have two choices: figure out how to start loving what you do, or start doing something else. There are no other logical conclusions. And yet I know that some of you reading this right now, are working at jobs you hate. Some of you are stuck in relationships that are making you miserable. I challenge you right now, that if you are in that situation, start creating a plan for how you can change it.
Of course I wouldn't suggest that you quit your job or split up with your partner tomorrow, unless it's a real emergency. But I do want to say that life is too short not to love what you do and who you spend it with. No life is perfect, but if you love who you experience it with, and what you spend most of it doing, then you'll live a life as close to perfect as we can as human beings.
Life is meant to be loved. Create a life that you can love.
Monday, February 07, 2011
What Can We Learn from Aaron Rogers
If you were not one of the estimated 100million people who watched the Super Bowl last night, you missed something quite special. Beyond a great game, you missed a powerful lesson on success from a 27 yr old named Aaron Rogers.
Rogers, the quarterback of the champion GreenBay Packers and the Super Bowl MVP last night, put on a great show, completing 24 of 39 passes for 309 yards, 3 TDs and 0 interceptions. (For those non-football fans this is about as solid a performance as you can get). What's more impressive is knowing a little bit about Rodgers' back story. It is also, as is usually the case, where the lessons can be learned.
Rogers, the quarterback of the champion GreenBay Packers and the Super Bowl MVP last night, put on a great show, completing 24 of 39 passes for 309 yards, 3 TDs and 0 interceptions. (For those non-football fans this is about as solid a performance as you can get). What's more impressive is knowing a little bit about Rodgers' back story. It is also, as is usually the case, where the lessons can be learned.
Last night Aaron Rodgers won a Super Bowl and was named Most Valuable Player of the game. The pinnacle for any football player. He is living every professional athlete's dream right now. But it hasn't always been roses for Rodgers.
Rodgers' career has been full of disappointments and set backs. Out of high school, he wasn't selected to a division 1 college like most NFL players. He only got one offer, and declined it, instead choosing to play junior college. After doing well there, he moved up and played well for UofC Berkley and by the time the 2005 NFL draft came along he was one of the favourites to go high, maybe even 1st overall some thought. Great turnaround right? He was picked 24th.
After being selected by the Packers, despite his great credentials, Rodgers didn't step into a starting job. He spent the first two years of his professional career in the shadow of Green Bay's storied quarterback Brett Favre. He thought he'd get his break when Favre announced his retirement in 2006, but Favre later changed his mind, relegating Rodgers to back-up status for another year. In 2007, Favre did the same thing and again Rodgers spent most of his season on the bench. On top of that, he broke his foot and spent lots of time not even being able to practice. Not exactly the story legends are made of.
But through all of the setbacks Rodgers was getting ready. He was studying film, learning from Favre, training, practicing, and preparing for when he would get the opportunity to show the world what he could really do. And last, night, in front of the biggest in-person crowd in Super Bowl history (an estimated 100,000+ saw the game live in Dallas) and certainly the biggest TV crowd he's ever played for, Rodgers played the game of his life. His team are Super Bowl champs and he is the MVP. It doesn't get better than that.
So what's the lesson for us? Never give up? Keep on believing? Sure. But the real lesson is what Rodgers did before he had the chance to start in the SuperBowl. In a world of professional sports when many spoiled athletes would have been insulted to be drafted 24th when some thought he'd be 1st, when many would have refused to spend two or three years as a back-up when they were as good as he was, and when many would have asked to be traded, or not shown up to training camp because he wasn't getting the "credit" he deserved, Rodgers stayed. He worked. He studied. He prepared. He didn't say, "why me?". He didn't complain that he wasn't getting his due. He just went to work, did his best, committed to constant improvement and waited for his chance. And when it showed up, he stepped up. Big!
So what are you doing to prepare? Are you in a job you don't love? Is there a promotion you think you deserve? Are you being over-looked, under paid and under valued? Don't waste time complaining and sulking and wishing things were different. Prepare. Study. Learn. Get better. And wait for your opportunity to come. Then, when it does, you'll be ready. And just like Rodgers, you'll step up and show people what you can really do.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Accountability Matters
There seems to be a concept gaining popularity that essentially states we are not responsible for our lives. We are not responsible for our actions, we aren’t responsible for our results and we aren’t responsible for each other.
This space is not big enough to enter into the speculation on where this idea has come from, and frankly, I’m not sure that it matters. What I want to address is how you, as a person who wants to be successful and contribute to the world, has to do to avoid failing victim this type of thinking.
Among youth, I see this trend manifesting in everything from grades, to money, to how they treat each other. While MOST young people are hard working, kind and generous people, there are SOME who walk around with an attitude of entitlement. They seem to think that the world owes them something. They think they DESERVE the iPod, the new car, the trendy clothes and whatever else their heart desires. There seems to be little notion, among this group, that these things come as a result of hard work and are not handed out to anyone who decides they want it.
Adults too, are falling prey to this flawed thinking and the results are serious. As much as we’d all like to blame the global credit crisis on irresponsible big banks, each of us is as much to blame. If we were better prepared to handle changes, it wouldn’t have been the issue it has been. Instead, because people think they DESERVE to have everything they want, they have mortgaged themselves into oblivion, maxed out credit cards, and continued to spend without any regard for what would happen if anything went wrong.
What’s my point? All of these issues should be teaching us a very important lesson about the importance of accountability. One of the universal laws of life is that in one way or another, eventually, we will all be held accountable for how we behave. If we commit crimes, we’ll go to jail, if we overspend, we’ll have financial trouble, if we don’t pay the mortgage, we lose or house. There are consequences for actions. Yet many still try to live in make-believe world where there aren’t.
But what if Instead of living in fear of the negative consequences of bad decisions, we started to live with a focus on the positive consequences of good choices? What if instead of not opening bills in the hopes that maybe they’ll go away, and then having to dig out of a deep hole, we were proactive in managing our money and looked forward to the positive consequence of being debt free? What if instead of dreading the fact that we’re getting fatter (more than 50% of North Americans are now obese) and then stick our heads in the ground and continue to stuff our faces, we made a plan to eat better, move more, and looked forward to the positive consequence of slimming down and being in better health?
So why aren’t we more accountable? Surely most of us WANT to live well, do the right thing, make good decisions and be responsible. So why don’t we; because we don’t make ourselves accountable. It is all too easy in today’s world to avoid consequences. Yes they will catch up with us eventually, but we can evade them for a long time, sometimes years. Witness the thousands of 55-75 year old people still working. Not because they want to, but because they have failed to properly prepare for retirement and have now discovered that they simply can’t afford to. They weren’t held accountable for how they were spending and not saving, until it was too late.
In many cases school works the same way. Students fail to do the work and study necessary to learn what they need to learn, but our school system advances them through the grade levels anyway. Students get the message that there no real consequence for not working because hey, I’ll go to grade 11 next year anyway. And then we wonder why they don’t get it when a few years later, they realize that they can’t operate that way in the workplace.
So what can you and I do to deal with the chronic lack of accountability in our world? Probably not much. But we CAN make ourselves accountable. We can realize that if we ensure that we make ourselves accountable for our actions and our results, that we will end up more successful, happier, fulfilled people. How do we do that?
There are a few ways that you can create accountability in your life. Here are my favourites:
1) Get a Coach: Most people think coaches are only for athletes, or maybe people in the depths of crisis. Nothing could be further from the truth. Most of the successful people I know get coaching in some form or another. They realize that a coach can help them by seeing things they cannot see, giving an unbiased opinion on issues, and most importantly by keeping them accountable to themselves. A coach is a great way to be sure that you execute on the goals you set. Learn more about coaching at: (http://www.MarkBlackSpeaks.com/coaching)
2) Create a Mastermind Group – Gather a few colleagues, friends or ideally people who are even a little further ahead on your path than you are, and get together to talk. Meet once a month or maybe more frequently and keep each other posted on your progress. Share you goals and objectives and keep each other ACCOUNTABLE to working on them.
3) Find an Accountability Partner – Find a colleague or friend who you trust, respect and can count on. Set meeting once a month or every two weeks. Share your goals and plans and the actions you plan to take to accomplish them. When you meet each week, ask each other if you have done what you said you would do.
Whatever you can do to hold yourself accountable to yourself is valuable. When you become truly accountable for your actions and your results, your results will improve.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Partnership had Power
I'm a solo-preneur. I work alone. My 'business' is a one-man operation and I am rarely afforded the luxury of having someone else to talk to, bounce ideas off of and encourage me to push myself.
This has advantages and disadvantages. Certainly it's nice to be able to set my own schedule, make my own decisions, and otherwise be my own boss. The downside is that it can get lonely all alone and without someone to push us, challenge us and critique us, it can be very easy to get settled in our ways and cease to grow and improve.
That's why this year, I have taken an active decision to partner with people, both in and outside of, my industry, in order to help me grow, change and improve. I'm working in a master-mind group with other speakers and though leaders to share ideas, bounce ideas off each other and hone my skills.
I'm working with a group of other speakers/authors on a joint-venture project so that we can mutually promote each others' ideas, products and services to each others' clients and thus spread our reach beyond our personal sphere of influence.
Finally, I'm also working with a mentor who is where I want to be, to help guide my actions in order to achieve the success that I'm seeking.
Today I want to ask you, what are you doing to partner with others to raise your level of success? Are you employing the wisdom, experience and contacts of others to help you grow and improve? If you're not, I encourage you to take that step. Seek out other like-minded people and start a master-mind group. A group of people who are all interested in self-improvement and professional development. They might be from the same field, but they need not be. All that matters is that they are all interested in getting better and that they are willing to invest time and energy to achieve those results.
Call a few people who you think would make good mastermind group partners and schedule a meeting. You can meet once a month, once a week or a few times a year. What's important is that everyone be invested in improving, both themselves and the other members. You will find you can help each other and collectively you will achieve much more than you could have alone.
Good luck! And keep me posted. Let me know how it goes.
This has advantages and disadvantages. Certainly it's nice to be able to set my own schedule, make my own decisions, and otherwise be my own boss. The downside is that it can get lonely all alone and without someone to push us, challenge us and critique us, it can be very easy to get settled in our ways and cease to grow and improve.
That's why this year, I have taken an active decision to partner with people, both in and outside of, my industry, in order to help me grow, change and improve. I'm working in a master-mind group with other speakers and though leaders to share ideas, bounce ideas off each other and hone my skills.
I'm working with a group of other speakers/authors on a joint-venture project so that we can mutually promote each others' ideas, products and services to each others' clients and thus spread our reach beyond our personal sphere of influence.
Finally, I'm also working with a mentor who is where I want to be, to help guide my actions in order to achieve the success that I'm seeking.
Today I want to ask you, what are you doing to partner with others to raise your level of success? Are you employing the wisdom, experience and contacts of others to help you grow and improve? If you're not, I encourage you to take that step. Seek out other like-minded people and start a master-mind group. A group of people who are all interested in self-improvement and professional development. They might be from the same field, but they need not be. All that matters is that they are all interested in getting better and that they are willing to invest time and energy to achieve those results.
Call a few people who you think would make good mastermind group partners and schedule a meeting. You can meet once a month, once a week or a few times a year. What's important is that everyone be invested in improving, both themselves and the other members. You will find you can help each other and collectively you will achieve much more than you could have alone.
Good luck! And keep me posted. Let me know how it goes.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Are you at your limit?
Limitations, or more accurately, perceived limitations, play a large role in our ability to realize our potential and achieve our goals. As a starting point to learn about how perceived limitations affect our lives, I'd ask you to consider this questions, "what would you do if you couldn't fail?" Seriously think about that for a minute...
Do you have a long list of things flooding your brain? Is there a litany of things that you haven't done that you'd like to do but haven't because you had some "good reason" why you couldn't? It is exactly in these things that you will find the sneaky power of limitations affecting you. Chances are good that whatever you have written off as "impractical", "impossible" or "unlikely" are only thus because you have decided they are. Today I want to encourage you to reconsider.
Now I don't want to be seen as getting carried away here. I will grant you that there are limitations. We all live in a physical world that physical world does have some limitations. And as physical beings we also have some physical limitations (not that most of us will come close to reaching them). The problem is not that some limitations exist, but rather that most of us never test them. Knowing we have limits, some of us make the choice to live lives steering far clear of those limits. We choose to use those limits as excuses not to push ourselves.
For example, what do you think you are worth? What salary are you making today? What is the maximum salary you can envision yourself making? Chances are good it's within 100% of what you make now. So if you make $40,000 you might be able to see yourself making $80,000-$100,000 one day, but you'd have a hard time imagining yourself making $300,000. Why is that a problem? Because you are placing artificial limits on yourself that need not hold you back.
The point isn't about money. You can be perfectly happy on $40,000, some are happy on much less and some are miserable with much more. I'm not meaning to imply that money is the key to happiness, but just that our mental perceptions have the power to hold us back from becoming all that we can be. Case in point, Ted Williams, the homeless man from Ohio who last week was living on the street, but since being 'discovered' for his great voice, has already recorded a commercial and appeared on the Today show (http://www.allvoices.com/contributed-news/7808698-homelessness-to-fame-for-ted-williams-nbc-2nd-chance-as-announcer-and-then-i-can-tell-you-what-the-kids-are-doing).
Granted most of us will not have such a dramatic transformation of our life circumstances, but the ARE possible, if you believe they are. Probably the most powerful example of expectations shaping reality for me comes from the world of running (no surprise for those who have been reading my blog and newsletters for a while).
You may be familiar with the story of Roger Banister. If you aren't, Roger Banister was the first man to run a mile in under 4minutes. Until he did it, hundreds had tried and failed. The record had stood for years and some scientists had even released research declaring it "physically impossible" for a human being to run a mile in under 4min. It just couldn't be done... until Roger Banister did it. What's more amazing than Banister's feat, which is an accomplishment in it's own right, is that AFTER Banister broke the 4min mile mark, more than 5 people went even faster in the next 10 years and MANY others also broke the 4min mark.
But that was impossible wasn't it? Of course not. It was perceived to be impossible. Like going to the moon, splitting the atom, and any other "impossible" thing that we as human beings have done, it was only impossible until we could make our mind see that it wasn't. Once the mind could get there, we weren't long behind.
So take a look this week at what is limiting you. Chances are good that it isn't really a limitation, just a perceived limitation. If you can get your mind around the idea that you can do it, than you can. Make 2011 the year you do something you used to think was impossible.
Do you have a long list of things flooding your brain? Is there a litany of things that you haven't done that you'd like to do but haven't because you had some "good reason" why you couldn't? It is exactly in these things that you will find the sneaky power of limitations affecting you. Chances are good that whatever you have written off as "impractical", "impossible" or "unlikely" are only thus because you have decided they are. Today I want to encourage you to reconsider.
Now I don't want to be seen as getting carried away here. I will grant you that there are limitations. We all live in a physical world that physical world does have some limitations. And as physical beings we also have some physical limitations (not that most of us will come close to reaching them). The problem is not that some limitations exist, but rather that most of us never test them. Knowing we have limits, some of us make the choice to live lives steering far clear of those limits. We choose to use those limits as excuses not to push ourselves.
For example, what do you think you are worth? What salary are you making today? What is the maximum salary you can envision yourself making? Chances are good it's within 100% of what you make now. So if you make $40,000 you might be able to see yourself making $80,000-$100,000 one day, but you'd have a hard time imagining yourself making $300,000. Why is that a problem? Because you are placing artificial limits on yourself that need not hold you back.
The point isn't about money. You can be perfectly happy on $40,000, some are happy on much less and some are miserable with much more. I'm not meaning to imply that money is the key to happiness, but just that our mental perceptions have the power to hold us back from becoming all that we can be. Case in point, Ted Williams, the homeless man from Ohio who last week was living on the street, but since being 'discovered' for his great voice, has already recorded a commercial and appeared on the Today show (http://www.allvoices.com/contributed-news/7808698-homelessness-to-fame-for-ted-williams-nbc-2nd-chance-as-announcer-and-then-i-can-tell-you-what-the-kids-are-doing).
Granted most of us will not have such a dramatic transformation of our life circumstances, but the ARE possible, if you believe they are. Probably the most powerful example of expectations shaping reality for me comes from the world of running (no surprise for those who have been reading my blog and newsletters for a while).
You may be familiar with the story of Roger Banister. If you aren't, Roger Banister was the first man to run a mile in under 4minutes. Until he did it, hundreds had tried and failed. The record had stood for years and some scientists had even released research declaring it "physically impossible" for a human being to run a mile in under 4min. It just couldn't be done... until Roger Banister did it. What's more amazing than Banister's feat, which is an accomplishment in it's own right, is that AFTER Banister broke the 4min mile mark, more than 5 people went even faster in the next 10 years and MANY others also broke the 4min mark.
But that was impossible wasn't it? Of course not. It was perceived to be impossible. Like going to the moon, splitting the atom, and any other "impossible" thing that we as human beings have done, it was only impossible until we could make our mind see that it wasn't. Once the mind could get there, we weren't long behind.
So take a look this week at what is limiting you. Chances are good that it isn't really a limitation, just a perceived limitation. If you can get your mind around the idea that you can do it, than you can. Make 2011 the year you do something you used to think was impossible.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Will 2011 be Better than 2010?
As you read this there are less than 7 days remaining in the year 2010. As the year comes to an end, I wanted to ask you a few questions. If you can answer these questions honestly, you'll have have gotten off to a great start.
According to the Opinion Corporation of Princeton, NJ, 25% of people have NEVER realized a single New Year's Resolution and more than 90% have failed to achieve their resolutions at least once in their life. That might lead some to conclude that New Year's resolutions are a waste of time and doomed to failure. I don't think that's true.
If you read the data another way you see that 75% of people HAVE realized their resolutions at least once in their lives and 10% do it EVERY YEAR! If those resolutions are meaning life changes, then it is absolutely worth the effort. In fact another study sited in issue 4 (2002) of the Journal of Clinic Psychology states that people who set New Year's Resolutions are 10 TIMES more likely to attain their goals!
So clearly setting New Year's Resolutions can be a very worthwhile exercise. The question then becomes, what makes the difference between those who rarely achieve their resolutions and those special 8-10% who regularly employ New Year's resolutions to make positive changes in their lives? What can you do to ensure that you stand the best chance of success?
With some study and research, you discover three key actions that you can take to give yourself the best chance of succeeding at your New Year's Resolutions.
1. Consistent with your core values - You can not expect to realize a resolution that is inconsistent with who you are as a person. For example, someone who doesn't think money is important will have a hard time setting a New Year's resolution to gain wealth. Likewise, for someone for whom eating out a lot is important, losing 20lbs may not be a realistic resolution. So when setting resolutions ensure that the resolution matches your values. If they don't you have two choices: a) change your resolution b) change your values. Option A is certainly easier.
2. Be Exciting To You - Your resolutions have to resonate with you. They have to create feelings of excitement for you. If you aren't pumped to achieve your resolution, you have little chance of achieving them. Setting a resolution because you know it's good for you, is of little use. It's a nice idea, but that's all it will ever be. If you can't generate what Vince Pocente calls "emotional buzz" within yourself about your resolutions, they simply will not happen.
3. Create a Clear Vision of Your Future - Having a clear vision of what you want to achieve is critical for ensuring your success. You can not achieve anything if you won't now exactly what it is you're trying to do. A clear vision of what success looks like for you, is an essential part of the formula. So before you decide on what you want your resolutions to be, work on creating a clear vision of where you want your life to be in December of 2011. Then work backwards figuring out the actions you can take to get yourself from where you are to where you want to be in twelve months. Those actions should be the basis for your resolutions.
New Year's is an exciting time of year. Especially for people like me because it is the one time of the year when everyone is thinking about the things I think about all year. It is the one time of the year when most people are evaluating their lives and focusing on their future and what they want to achieve. I encourage you to use some of your time in this next week to do the same. Sit down and set some resolutions. Following the essential steps given above, you stand a great chance of succeeding.
Let me know how it goes...
- How has 2010 been for you? Where does it rate among the other years of your life? Best yet? Worst ever? Why?
- Will 2011 be better? How?
- What do I need to do to make 2011 my best year yet?
According to the Opinion Corporation of Princeton, NJ, 25% of people have NEVER realized a single New Year's Resolution and more than 90% have failed to achieve their resolutions at least once in their life. That might lead some to conclude that New Year's resolutions are a waste of time and doomed to failure. I don't think that's true.
If you read the data another way you see that 75% of people HAVE realized their resolutions at least once in their lives and 10% do it EVERY YEAR! If those resolutions are meaning life changes, then it is absolutely worth the effort. In fact another study sited in issue 4 (2002) of the Journal of Clinic Psychology states that people who set New Year's Resolutions are 10 TIMES more likely to attain their goals!
So clearly setting New Year's Resolutions can be a very worthwhile exercise. The question then becomes, what makes the difference between those who rarely achieve their resolutions and those special 8-10% who regularly employ New Year's resolutions to make positive changes in their lives? What can you do to ensure that you stand the best chance of success?
With some study and research, you discover three key actions that you can take to give yourself the best chance of succeeding at your New Year's Resolutions.
1. Consistent with your core values - You can not expect to realize a resolution that is inconsistent with who you are as a person. For example, someone who doesn't think money is important will have a hard time setting a New Year's resolution to gain wealth. Likewise, for someone for whom eating out a lot is important, losing 20lbs may not be a realistic resolution. So when setting resolutions ensure that the resolution matches your values. If they don't you have two choices: a) change your resolution b) change your values. Option A is certainly easier.
2. Be Exciting To You - Your resolutions have to resonate with you. They have to create feelings of excitement for you. If you aren't pumped to achieve your resolution, you have little chance of achieving them. Setting a resolution because you know it's good for you, is of little use. It's a nice idea, but that's all it will ever be. If you can't generate what Vince Pocente calls "emotional buzz" within yourself about your resolutions, they simply will not happen.
3. Create a Clear Vision of Your Future - Having a clear vision of what you want to achieve is critical for ensuring your success. You can not achieve anything if you won't now exactly what it is you're trying to do. A clear vision of what success looks like for you, is an essential part of the formula. So before you decide on what you want your resolutions to be, work on creating a clear vision of where you want your life to be in December of 2011. Then work backwards figuring out the actions you can take to get yourself from where you are to where you want to be in twelve months. Those actions should be the basis for your resolutions.
New Year's is an exciting time of year. Especially for people like me because it is the one time of the year when everyone is thinking about the things I think about all year. It is the one time of the year when most people are evaluating their lives and focusing on their future and what they want to achieve. I encourage you to use some of your time in this next week to do the same. Sit down and set some resolutions. Following the essential steps given above, you stand a great chance of succeeding.
Let me know how it goes...
Sunday, December 12, 2010
The Gift of Giving
During the past two weeks our city has engaged in what has become a holiday tradition, The Sue Stultz Turkey Drive. Each year our city rallies around a local hero, and recently elected MLA, to gather turkeys in order to provide a Christmas dinner to families who might not otherwise be able to afford it.
This year's drive had an ambitious goal for a city of 100,000 people. They wanted to collect 3612 turkeys in order to provide one for each registered family who needed one. So when the news report came on the air on Thursday (one day before the end of the drive) saying that they were still more than 1500 turkeys shy of the goal, I was disappointed but not surprised. What happened next however, blew me away... by the end of the next day, our little city not only reached the goal, they surpassed it. The grand total; 5255! In less than 24hrs, the people of my home town donated nearly 3000 turkeys!
I was pretty proud to be from Moncton this week, but hearing that news also made me ask a question; why? What is it that causes people to hear about an opportunity to give and then actually take action and do it? What causes people to take the time to go out, buy a turkey, and deliver it so that someone they don't know can have Christmas dinner? It's the same thing that makes someone volunteer in the Peace Corps, or travel to Haiti to help quake victims. The gift of giving.
If you've never experienced the gift of giving, you're missing out on one of the most joyful and meaningful experiences a human being can have. The feeling of knowing that you've made a difference in the life of someone else is the greatest emotion one can experience. Far beyond the fun of going to a great concert or buying some new gadget or outfit you want, the experience of giving to someone else goes to the core of your soul, and lasts a lot longer than emotions experienced when we "get"; it truly is better to give than to receive.
So as the busy holiday season gets into full gear and you rush around doing your last minute shopping and scratching people off your gift list, take a few minutes to appreciate the opportunity you're being given. The opportunity to make a difference. And don't forget all those who aren't on your list but still need you. Support a local charity, buy someone on the street a cup of coffee, donate a turkey:) Do something for someone else just because. Whatever you give you'll receive a gift better than anything that can be put under a tree; the gift of giving.
This year's drive had an ambitious goal for a city of 100,000 people. They wanted to collect 3612 turkeys in order to provide one for each registered family who needed one. So when the news report came on the air on Thursday (one day before the end of the drive) saying that they were still more than 1500 turkeys shy of the goal, I was disappointed but not surprised. What happened next however, blew me away... by the end of the next day, our little city not only reached the goal, they surpassed it. The grand total; 5255! In less than 24hrs, the people of my home town donated nearly 3000 turkeys!
I was pretty proud to be from Moncton this week, but hearing that news also made me ask a question; why? What is it that causes people to hear about an opportunity to give and then actually take action and do it? What causes people to take the time to go out, buy a turkey, and deliver it so that someone they don't know can have Christmas dinner? It's the same thing that makes someone volunteer in the Peace Corps, or travel to Haiti to help quake victims. The gift of giving.
If you've never experienced the gift of giving, you're missing out on one of the most joyful and meaningful experiences a human being can have. The feeling of knowing that you've made a difference in the life of someone else is the greatest emotion one can experience. Far beyond the fun of going to a great concert or buying some new gadget or outfit you want, the experience of giving to someone else goes to the core of your soul, and lasts a lot longer than emotions experienced when we "get"; it truly is better to give than to receive.
So as the busy holiday season gets into full gear and you rush around doing your last minute shopping and scratching people off your gift list, take a few minutes to appreciate the opportunity you're being given. The opportunity to make a difference. And don't forget all those who aren't on your list but still need you. Support a local charity, buy someone on the street a cup of coffee, donate a turkey:) Do something for someone else just because. Whatever you give you'll receive a gift better than anything that can be put under a tree; the gift of giving.
Monday, November 29, 2010
You've Got to be Tough
Throughout my life, my parents blessed me with many life lessons. They taught me the skills I would need to succeed and be a good person. The one that really stands out to be though is toughness. I have been, my whole life, the smallest in the class and the shortest among my peers.
From birth we knew I would not be the big guy in any group. So when I talk about "toughness" it wasn't of a physical kind. Being tough physically was never something I had. For most of my life I was dealing with illness in various degrees of severity, and being physically strong was never a priority, or even a possibility. Thanks to a life-saving transplant, it is now, but still, physical toughness will only get you so far in life. What separates those who succeed from the rest, is inner strength.
By no means do I hold myself up to be the perfect example of this trait. I'm a pretty tough guy in many ways, but I have many moments of weakness as well. I've learned too that it's often in those moments of weakness that I learn the most:) But I have been able to achieve some things that I credit mostly to an ability to block out pain and discomfort, and pursue the goal with single-minded determination. To me, that's what being tough is all about.
Here's a discouraging, but true fact, the world does not want you to succeed; at least not to your maximum potential. Was that too harsh? Sorry, but it's true. The world works on averages. It wants us all to fall into our allotted spot on the curve and be "normal". So if you decide that you want to be exceptional, you will most certainly meet with some resistance.
Now most of us don't recognize this resistance for what it is because it doesn't come in literal form most of the time. You probably won't have people literally tell you that you can't do something or that you have no business doing what you want to do, but that doesn't mean you won't receive those messages. Human beings have all kinds of ways of keeping each other down. It's our way of making ourselves feel more comfortable about what we have, or haven't achieved in our lives. Your job, is to be tougher than the resistance. If you want to become all that you were meant to be, you can't allow external forces, especially negative ones, shape your performance.
So how do you become tougher?
1. Articulate your personal truths and stick to them - Many people float through life without ever articulating what they believe, what they stand for, what matters most to them and what they want to achieve. When you do this you leave your destination entirely to chance. Know what you stand for and don't let anyone get in the way of that.
2. Make a Decision - I tell all the people I speak to who want to try a marathon the same thing; running a marathon is just putting one foot in front of the other until you get to the finish line. All you have to do is decide not to quit until you finish. Sound simple? It is. And it's a key to success. If you commit to yourself that you won't stop until you realize your goals, then you stand a MUCH higher chance of achieving them.
3. Find Your Why - Many people can't tell you why they do what they do. That's sad, and counterproductive. To succeed at the highest level you have to to have a "why". You need to know exactly why you do what you do. What is your motive? Is it a strong one? If you go to work just to make money and pay bills, you'll never be as successful and valuable as the employee who goes to work because they want to make a difference, because they genuinely care about their customer, or because they see it as they calling. Find your why, and suddenly being tough won't be so... well... tough:)
From birth we knew I would not be the big guy in any group. So when I talk about "toughness" it wasn't of a physical kind. Being tough physically was never something I had. For most of my life I was dealing with illness in various degrees of severity, and being physically strong was never a priority, or even a possibility. Thanks to a life-saving transplant, it is now, but still, physical toughness will only get you so far in life. What separates those who succeed from the rest, is inner strength.
By no means do I hold myself up to be the perfect example of this trait. I'm a pretty tough guy in many ways, but I have many moments of weakness as well. I've learned too that it's often in those moments of weakness that I learn the most:) But I have been able to achieve some things that I credit mostly to an ability to block out pain and discomfort, and pursue the goal with single-minded determination. To me, that's what being tough is all about.
Here's a discouraging, but true fact, the world does not want you to succeed; at least not to your maximum potential. Was that too harsh? Sorry, but it's true. The world works on averages. It wants us all to fall into our allotted spot on the curve and be "normal". So if you decide that you want to be exceptional, you will most certainly meet with some resistance.
Now most of us don't recognize this resistance for what it is because it doesn't come in literal form most of the time. You probably won't have people literally tell you that you can't do something or that you have no business doing what you want to do, but that doesn't mean you won't receive those messages. Human beings have all kinds of ways of keeping each other down. It's our way of making ourselves feel more comfortable about what we have, or haven't achieved in our lives. Your job, is to be tougher than the resistance. If you want to become all that you were meant to be, you can't allow external forces, especially negative ones, shape your performance.
So how do you become tougher?
1. Articulate your personal truths and stick to them - Many people float through life without ever articulating what they believe, what they stand for, what matters most to them and what they want to achieve. When you do this you leave your destination entirely to chance. Know what you stand for and don't let anyone get in the way of that.
2. Make a Decision - I tell all the people I speak to who want to try a marathon the same thing; running a marathon is just putting one foot in front of the other until you get to the finish line. All you have to do is decide not to quit until you finish. Sound simple? It is. And it's a key to success. If you commit to yourself that you won't stop until you realize your goals, then you stand a MUCH higher chance of achieving them.
3. Find Your Why - Many people can't tell you why they do what they do. That's sad, and counterproductive. To succeed at the highest level you have to to have a "why". You need to know exactly why you do what you do. What is your motive? Is it a strong one? If you go to work just to make money and pay bills, you'll never be as successful and valuable as the employee who goes to work because they want to make a difference, because they genuinely care about their customer, or because they see it as they calling. Find your why, and suddenly being tough won't be so... well... tough:)
Monday, November 22, 2010
Where Have You Been?
It's been said that you can never know where you're going until you truly know where you've been. Unfortunately, many of us are so focused on moving forward and setting new goals, that we forget to take the time to assess where we've been. Assessment is a critical part of any goal-setting plan. Taking the time to figure out which goals you've accomplished, which goals you've failed to accomplish, and which ones you totally forgot about or took no action on at all, is crucial.
When you examine the goals that you haven't accomplished it can give you an excellent indication of what your weaknesses are and where you may be tripping up on the road to achieving your dreams. If, for example, you look at your failed goals and realize they were all too aggressive for the amount of time you had to dedicate to them, then perhaps you can re-adjust the way you set your goals or find more time to work on them. If you look at what you HAVE accomplished and notice a common thread among all of those goals, it may give you a better indication of where your strengths lie and what your objectives should be.
So I challenge you this week to make an extensive evaluation of 2010. Make a list of all of the things that you've accomplished. Now make a list of all of the things that you haven't accomplished but planned to. What do the items in each list have in common? What can you learn about yourself but examining both lists?
Once you've completed an honest and thorough self assessment, you will be ready for the next step in the process which we'll tackle next week or perhaps a few weeks after that, how to take your assessment and use it to create a powerful self-growth plan for 2011.
Good luck!
When you examine the goals that you haven't accomplished it can give you an excellent indication of what your weaknesses are and where you may be tripping up on the road to achieving your dreams. If, for example, you look at your failed goals and realize they were all too aggressive for the amount of time you had to dedicate to them, then perhaps you can re-adjust the way you set your goals or find more time to work on them. If you look at what you HAVE accomplished and notice a common thread among all of those goals, it may give you a better indication of where your strengths lie and what your objectives should be.
So I challenge you this week to make an extensive evaluation of 2010. Make a list of all of the things that you've accomplished. Now make a list of all of the things that you haven't accomplished but planned to. What do the items in each list have in common? What can you learn about yourself but examining both lists?
Once you've completed an honest and thorough self assessment, you will be ready for the next step in the process which we'll tackle next week or perhaps a few weeks after that, how to take your assessment and use it to create a powerful self-growth plan for 2011.
Good luck!
Monday, November 15, 2010
How About a Little GOOD News?!
When was the last time you listened to the news and heard nothing but positive stories? Are you done laughing now? What's that, you've never heard a news broadcast with nothing but good news? Me either. The idea probably sounds ridiculous doesn't it? So what about this question, 'when was the last time you listened to a news report with nothing but negative news?' A little easier to remember a time like that?
This morning I turned on the radio, as I do every morning, and the lead story was about a horrible accident. A freak natural gas explosion on a resort in Mexico had killed 7 people. One of them a child. Five of them Canadian. Sad story. My question is this, 'should this be lead story on the local radio news in New Brunswick?' I can remember back during the great H1N1 scare of last winter, hearing lead stories here in NB about 1 person dying in Mexico, or France or Russia. Again, my question is, 'should this be leading news in NB, Canada?' It seems to me that sometimes news outlets are so desperate to find some tragedy to talk about that they'll literally go to the other side of the world to find one! How messed up is that?
Let me be clear. I'm not suggesting that we stick our heads in the sand, pretend that nothing bad ever happens and report only happy, smiley news stories. But I would like to see some reason and balance. We are bombarded with negative news everyday. Is it any wonder that so many people struggle with pessimism and cynicism?
Twenty years ago this wasn't much of an issue. The news came on once a night, you watched or listened and knew what was going on without having to endure the horrors of the world multiple times. But in today's 24hr news cycle, with CNN running 24/7, you don't just hear bad news, if you choose, you can hear, read, see bad news constantly and multiple times over each day.
I encourage you to watch what you're watching. Monitor how much you expose yourself to the negative news around you, and don't let too much of the negativity into your head. Again, I don't want you to think that I'm advocating the life of a hermit. Nothing would ever improve in the world if those who cared to make it better stuck their heads in the sand and pretended nothing needed changing. However, we need not overwhelm ourselves with constant exposure to negativity either.
Studying the worlds most successful people, I've learned that many of them have a practice of listening to motivational/personal development CD's or Books on CD when driving in the car or at home, rather than listening to the news or the radio. What would happen to your life if you were constantly inputting positive thoughts and inspiring ideas in your head rather than the negative news?
Try it this week and see what happens? My guess is, you'll never go back to the old way again!
This morning I turned on the radio, as I do every morning, and the lead story was about a horrible accident. A freak natural gas explosion on a resort in Mexico had killed 7 people. One of them a child. Five of them Canadian. Sad story. My question is this, 'should this be lead story on the local radio news in New Brunswick?' I can remember back during the great H1N1 scare of last winter, hearing lead stories here in NB about 1 person dying in Mexico, or France or Russia. Again, my question is, 'should this be leading news in NB, Canada?' It seems to me that sometimes news outlets are so desperate to find some tragedy to talk about that they'll literally go to the other side of the world to find one! How messed up is that?
Let me be clear. I'm not suggesting that we stick our heads in the sand, pretend that nothing bad ever happens and report only happy, smiley news stories. But I would like to see some reason and balance. We are bombarded with negative news everyday. Is it any wonder that so many people struggle with pessimism and cynicism?
Twenty years ago this wasn't much of an issue. The news came on once a night, you watched or listened and knew what was going on without having to endure the horrors of the world multiple times. But in today's 24hr news cycle, with CNN running 24/7, you don't just hear bad news, if you choose, you can hear, read, see bad news constantly and multiple times over each day.
I encourage you to watch what you're watching. Monitor how much you expose yourself to the negative news around you, and don't let too much of the negativity into your head. Again, I don't want you to think that I'm advocating the life of a hermit. Nothing would ever improve in the world if those who cared to make it better stuck their heads in the sand and pretended nothing needed changing. However, we need not overwhelm ourselves with constant exposure to negativity either.
Studying the worlds most successful people, I've learned that many of them have a practice of listening to motivational/personal development CD's or Books on CD when driving in the car or at home, rather than listening to the news or the radio. What would happen to your life if you were constantly inputting positive thoughts and inspiring ideas in your head rather than the negative news?
Try it this week and see what happens? My guess is, you'll never go back to the old way again!
Monday, November 01, 2010
If you Believe It You can Achieve It
There are few universal truths in life but this is one of them. I firmly believe that there is nothing that you can’t achieve if you completely believe that you can do it. What is equally true, and evident in the lives of far too many people is, “If you can’t believe it, you won’t achieve it.” In other words, it has to be true in your mind and your heart before it can come true in your life.
Belief is a powerful thing. It is much different from hoping, dreaming or wishing. Believing you can do something means that you know you can do it. You may not know how you’re going to do it, or when, but you know in your heart that you can make it happen. What do you believe you are capable of?
When I was first listed for my transplant, I had a meeting with the head of the transplant team. During the meeting he explained how the transplant process worked. He made sure that I fully understood all of the risks involved in the surgery. He said that if everything went as it should, that I should be able to go back to work part-time someday. That was his ultimate goal for me.
If I had suggested that not only would I return to work, but that I would start my own business as a speaker, travel all over North America helping people realize their potential, I’d write a book, and that I’d run three marathons, he would never have believed me. I shudder to think today where I would be in my life if I had lived within the confines of my doctor’s expectations. I know they were only trying to prepare me for every possibility; but if I had not decided that I was going to expect more from myself than they did, I would never have achieved half of what I have. Expect more from yourself than anyone else does.
If you have people in your life who impose limiting expectations on you, you must have the courage to politely listen, and then ignore them. It doesn’t mean you have to shut these people out of your life, just don’t let them impose their limiting attitude on you.
So many of us will never achieve half of what we could because deep down, we don’t really believe that our goals are attainable or that we’re worthy of the great things in life. We’ve bought into the lie that most of us are just ordinary folks who should only do ordinary things, work at ordinary jobs and make ordinary money. There’s nothing wrong with that. But if you want more, and you believe that you can do more, there is nothing to stop you… except you.
In order to achieve everything you are capable of, you must believe that it is possible and chances are good that, because of the negative messages you’ve received throughout your life from the world around you, you don’t believe you’re capable of much. This week I want to challenge you to reconsider your potential.
Action Item
Consider this week what you believe is possible for you and your life. Take a moment here and write down the goals that you believe in your heart you can achieve:
You will never achieve something that you believe to be impossible but you can certainly achieve something that OTHERS think is impossible. So start focusing on what you want to achieve with the mindset that it is possible.
Belief is a powerful thing. It is much different from hoping, dreaming or wishing. Believing you can do something means that you know you can do it. You may not know how you’re going to do it, or when, but you know in your heart that you can make it happen. What do you believe you are capable of?
When I was first listed for my transplant, I had a meeting with the head of the transplant team. During the meeting he explained how the transplant process worked. He made sure that I fully understood all of the risks involved in the surgery. He said that if everything went as it should, that I should be able to go back to work part-time someday. That was his ultimate goal for me.
If I had suggested that not only would I return to work, but that I would start my own business as a speaker, travel all over North America helping people realize their potential, I’d write a book, and that I’d run three marathons, he would never have believed me. I shudder to think today where I would be in my life if I had lived within the confines of my doctor’s expectations. I know they were only trying to prepare me for every possibility; but if I had not decided that I was going to expect more from myself than they did, I would never have achieved half of what I have. Expect more from yourself than anyone else does.
If you have people in your life who impose limiting expectations on you, you must have the courage to politely listen, and then ignore them. It doesn’t mean you have to shut these people out of your life, just don’t let them impose their limiting attitude on you.
So many of us will never achieve half of what we could because deep down, we don’t really believe that our goals are attainable or that we’re worthy of the great things in life. We’ve bought into the lie that most of us are just ordinary folks who should only do ordinary things, work at ordinary jobs and make ordinary money. There’s nothing wrong with that. But if you want more, and you believe that you can do more, there is nothing to stop you… except you.
In order to achieve everything you are capable of, you must believe that it is possible and chances are good that, because of the negative messages you’ve received throughout your life from the world around you, you don’t believe you’re capable of much. This week I want to challenge you to reconsider your potential.
Action Item
Consider this week what you believe is possible for you and your life. Take a moment here and write down the goals that you believe in your heart you can achieve:
You will never achieve something that you believe to be impossible but you can certainly achieve something that OTHERS think is impossible. So start focusing on what you want to achieve with the mindset that it is possible.
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